Dear Mr. Falsehood,

Thank you for your order #17426.
Our records indicate that on 8/3/2019 you placed the following order with us:

3 Prussian orgasms
1 farmer’s bladder
5 rescinded offers
2 ill wills
1 diner’s cramp
3 Asian pep talks
4 drops of a hat
24 pagan rituals
13 collapsed lungs
6 curtsies of lamb bread
8 whiffs of trouble
7 averted cataclysms
5 galoshes of road apples
6 beachside divorces

Unfortunately, the following items are out of stock:
6 making goods- May we suggest 12 owning ups?
7 stolen glances: Sorry, no substitute available.
3 church burps- May we suggest 2 bus farts?
1 lovable curmudgeon- May we suggest 1 bastard and 1 plucky scamp?

Your total with shipping:

Based on your order history may we suggest:
Mexican shoe trees- now grown in America!
milk ‘n’ corn pants- Greek Orthodox salvage.
tantalizing tidbits- straight from the Congo!
Irish tacos- (NOS)

Thank you again for your continued patronage.
If you have any questions, feel free to contact me directly.

L.F. Chrysler, ext 240