Thank you for your order #10913.
Our records indicate that on 11/16/2018 you placed the following order with us:

15 boxes of catpiss (feral)
2 misdialed phone numbers
31 blasts of arctic air
8 vouchers for dental surgery
10 baseless accusations
3 buttloads of work to do
6 tenders of resignation
1 load of laundry (whites)
9 footprints of captain’s yeast
4 vows of poverty
6 Rubin vases
1 flamboyant gesture
5 cupsizes of Roman cigars

Unfortunately the following items are out of stock:
37 promising starts- May we substitute 2 satisfying conclusions?
8 theater eyes- May we substitute 6 actor’s necks?
1 stay at home mom- Sorry, no substitute available.

Your total with shipping:
$61261.80

Based on your order history may we suggest:
auto dining sets- why just drive in your car?
Norwegian choir soap- made with pan fried haddock.
farmer’s release- just the thing after a long season!
Thank you again for your continued patronage.
If you have any questions, feel free to contact me directly.

Al Mostsh, ext. 220
almostsh@mypants.crap