FILM REVIEWS A-Z (mostly watched 2021-23)

I try to avoid spoilers and synopses in my reviews.
lighting, cinematography and score matter as much to me as script and performances- it’s all equally important.
and I like weird movies. always have. for the better part of 40 years I have sought out weird movies. I’m a comic book nerd so I like superhero stuff too, but most of the movies I watch are pre 1980 and a lot of them are foreign.
I also watch a loooooooot of ’70s movies. I have a high tolerance for schlock, especially horror schlock from the ’70s, foreign and domestic. I can forgive a multitude of sins if a movie is entertaining.
the worst thing a movie can be is not cheap or offensive: the worst thing a movie can be is lazy.
having said that, I do not seek out “extreme” films. I do seek out films that sound interesting. however, when you watch as much ’70s exploitation/horror etc as I do, you’re bound to see a few things you’ll wish you hadn’t.
I love Polanski, Cronenberg, Hitchcock and Spielberg but I also love Milligan, Brownrigg, Wood and Adamson. I love arthouse movies too so take all this with a few grains of salt.

FILMS A-Z

(mostly watched 2021-23)

1 awful – 2 pretty bad – 3 good – 4 excellent – 5 vital

#

2+5: Missione Hydra aka Star Pilot 1966
(lousy dubbed 4:3 print off tubi) hilariously cheap Italian pap about a scientist and his entourage (including eye candy Leontine Snell as Luisa) who are forced to repair a damaged alien spaceship (?huh?) and along with Oriental spies are brought back to the aliens’ home planet. whew. that description was more effort than this silliness deserves. Leonora Ruffo is the gorgeous, accommodating alien leader saddled with a less than adequate crew who’s only following orders from Hydra central. other than the lovely ladies’ admittedly appealing outfits, the costumes are awful, the script is terrible and the whole thing screams slapdash quickie. on the (very lean) plus side, there are trippy EVA sequences, a few decent miniatures and a pretty cool immolation raygun. 1.5/5
3 pistole contro Cesare aka Death Walks In Laredo 1967
(dubbed) weird action western about a man who inherits a mine ten years too late only to find the area under the control of a drive-in Fu Manchu who’s got a thing for Julius Caesar. luckily for the man, he’s got some cool weapons and cool brothers like martial artists and oh who cares? the number one bad (who looks like your cousin who sort of looks like Nicholson, but here he’s got a soulpatch and one helluva cataract) hosts some truly awful pool parties with Hawaiian music and his ?tutor? reading aloud from history books. the number two bad eats a banana outside while a woman shines his shoes, only to discard the half eaten berry down her blouse. yes, this is a weird movie. not a good movie, but a weird one. the score often sounds like it’s too loud, too odd or just too rock’n’roll but it fits the brash proceedings. the bad guys all wear black and the “bacchanalia” is a luau love-in. at least the fourth rate Caesar was good for quite a few laughs and Femi Benussi and Gianna Sera were gorgeous. 2.5/5
5 Fingers 1952
James Mason stars as an opportunist selling Allied secrets to the Germans. less than thrilling despite being well written and acted. 3/5
10 Rillington Place 1971
grotesque real life account of a multiple murderer who passed himself off as an amateur physician. the flats themselves are almost as dingy as Richard Attenborough’s Mr. Christie the landlord while John Hurt brings energy and pathos to his role of unfortunate tenant. Attenborough is weaselly, whispery-creepy as the softly insistent rapist killer who somehow managed to also be a husband and father. among the more disturbing aspects is how he pulled others into his crimes. very good but beyond bleak: this is black. 3/5
99 River Street 1953
an ex-boxer (John Payne) with an unhappy wife (a steamy Peggie Castle) gets mixed up in murder in this classic noir. some tough guys, tough women, tough talk and a quick pace make up for the mostly unconvincing fight scenes. the special effects during the climax at the dock are a mixed bag- maybe it was the print but some of them looked terrific and others… not so much. 3/5

A

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein 1949
all star classic comedy still has its charms even though my appreciation for it has waned considerably over the years. although it’s sometimes painful to see Dracula throw pottery or the gang creep around interminably for “comic” effect there are enough better moments to balance it out. tedious overall and not any of their greatest moments. maybe a Three Stooges Meet Frankenstein would’ve actually been funny. 2.5/5
A Countess From Hong Kong 1967
uneven farce written and directed by Charlie Chaplin stars Brando and Loren but it’s not what that should’ve been as he’s kind of a dick. while the cast is good and everything looks great, it’s a bit forced and clumsy at times but otherwise plays well. silly, low key and plenty of physical comedy with the groom’s bedtime routine a standout. 3/5
A Day At The Beach 1970
this Roman Polanski scripted black comedy is both heartbreaking and as amusing as watching a train wreck in real time. a lost cause drunk takes his young charge out for the titular journey but his timing is as unfortunate as his chaperoning skills. shadenfreude reigns. with Peter Sellers in a small role. 3/5
Akai Tenshi/The Red Angel 1966
hard to watch anti war tragedy that shocks in its unflinching despair describes a doomed nurse as she futilely tries to make a difference. from a cholera infested camp, a drug addicted surgeon’s tent of iniquity to the front lines, tragedy follows wherever she goes. some dramatic sections would seem exploitative in another’s hands but director Yasuzô Masumura handles everything, no matter how unusual, with tact. very rough viewing. 4/5
Alchemik 1988
of alchemists and princes; of knights and Satanic sacrifices. Polish historical sci fi fantasy is often Arthurian with scenes that cross into horror. the big enough budget allows for good cinematography especially in the outdoor scenes, with the ride thru the dunes a standout. well done except for some specious end credits. reminded me of Zulawski a bit. 3/5
Alias Nick Beal 1948
enjoyable fantasy mystery about the shadowy Mr. Beal and his attempts to manipulate lives and influence an election. Ray Milland oozes smarm as the haphephobic Beal while Thomas Mitchell and George Macready round out the cast. nothing earth shattering and few surprises but old school atmosphere, a crisp pace and smart writing make this fun tale of morality breeze right by. 3/5
Alice In Wonderland 1933
low budget yet all star effort with a variety of vfx that won’t appeal to children any more than it does to adults, which is very little. speaking of little, that to none is how much charm this has. almost every character Alice encounters is uber creepy and rude too. the whole thing has an amateur theater feel despite the starpower. as a curiosity it’s interesting and a sliver or two of it actually works but mostly it plays like a poorly realized tv movie. miles away from essential. 2/5
Alice ou la dernière fugue/Alice or the last escapade 1977
Sylvia Kristel stars as a woman who leaves her lover one rainy night and finds herself in an alternate world. some surreal moments, nice scenery and compositions plus an effective score are plusses but since we never get to know Alice or any of the characters she interacts with the film becomes a good looking, uninvolving curiosity. 2.5/5
All Through The Night 1942
Bogart and Lorre star in a WW2 comedy mystery based in and around Broadway, NY with nazis and Phil Silvers. plenty of slick dialog and style make it great fun except for a few unfortunately typical stereotypes. it’s mostly well shot with a good score and easily scratches several itches all by its lonesome while never being boring. 3.5/5
Alone In The Dark 1982
after a corker of an opening, another one of those wonderful cheesy ’80s synth themes kicks in before the “DLITB” setup unfolds. somehow Jack Palance, Martin Landau and Donald Pleasence are in this strangeness that gets dark but not enough to overcome the lamer moments. otoh, a few twists and one cheap, totally unearned scare liven up the craziness and overacting. featuring a great horror movie house, an amazing “happy trails” from Jack, a charming NY band and a sweet bat-to-the-hatchet. a fun, you-could-do-worse 3/5
Along Came A Spider 1970
a widow with secrets meets a college professor with secrets of his own. tv movie with a slow start eventually gets interesting via a few twists. not great but scratched my ’70s tvm itch. with the lovely Suzanne Pleshette (in a platinum blonde wig!) and other familiar faces. 3/5
The Alphabet Murders 1965
b+w comedy of Hercule Poirot and Scotland Yard tracking a killer. Tony Randall’s better than his accent but the film is funny and creatively shot if a bit soft. unessential yet diverting. with Britt Ekland and Robert Morley. 3/5
Alraune 1952
we first meet Alraune in a dreamy, beautifully filmed sequence in a garden but she’s no Eve. she is, however, irresistible to any man who comes in contact with her and seems to possess more than just a power of persuasion. though I’ve never read it, this is apparently the third filmed version of the 1911 novel of the same name. I haven’t seen the previous films either but this one plays down any sci fi or horror aspects beyond the lurid premise and the mc’s childish manipulations of others that often lead to fatalities. because of her unnatural roots (sorry), Alraune is an unfeeling force of chaos, mother nature made temptress; only true love can make her “human.” and only when she displays said humanity is she “lovable.” yikes. lots of shadowy sets and a versatile performance from Hildegard Knef help but even by 1952 artificial insemination and nature vs nurture were surely no longer lunatic fringe. some illfitting music broadens the darker moments to the film’s detriment- this is mostly an antiquated morality tragedy instead of the dark tale of the supernatural it could’ve been. 2.5/5
Amore e morte nel giardino degli dei/Love and Death In the Garden of the Gods 1972
Italian “twisted kink” mystery about an ornithologist who finds an audio tape recording in a bird’s nest (?) that, once washed (!), tells of a sordid woman’s death. most of the exterior shots look good (although a lot is handheld) in a variety of locations while interiors don’t fare as well. could be labeled giallo but regardless, it’s not very good. at least it’s got Erika Blanc and Orchidea de Santis. 2.5/5
Angels’ Brigade aka Angels Revenge 1978
(unfortunately re-edited “AR” version) with purloined music, a customized A-Team van and Evel Knievel’s wardrobe, these anti-drug-pusher “angels” are teachers, models, stuntwomen, singers, cops and more. they vote on everything before they do it, they carry swords and pistols and fight guys on horseback. is there anything they can’t do? yeah, act. but who cares? this is like a ’70s tv obsessed teenager’s fever dream with everything in pop culture from the era, for better or worse, dumped in a blender plus scantily dressed babes and ridiculous “fight scenes” with zany cartoon sound fx. too many great lines but here goes: “It’s locked!” (repeat ad nauseam) “I was walking in the mountains” “Just drop your pants, stud, and start talking.” maybe if Charlie had these angels his show would still be on! easy 3/5 for the stupid laughs
Aniara 2018
strange, low key study of man’s capacity to self delude in order to survive; the triumph of human will at the expense of human spirit. commuters aboard a massive starship face bad news with regards to scheduled arrival times. when things get dark they get pretty dark but stay believable. an intelligent script portrays the minimalist sci-fi within the confines of the ship and the regression of its occupants rather than thru extensive sfx. the film’s few fx shots are handled well, however, while a retro but somehow appropriate electronic score keeps things not too futuristic. a sci fi movie driven more by psychosocial interests than technology or vfx, its more indulgent scenes can be forgiven as markers of communal deterioration. 3/5
Annihilation 2018
Natalie Portman and Jennifer Jason Leigh are in eco-terror when an alien soap bubble gives mother nature cancer. Giger/Dali-esque set design and psychedelic visuals are plusses but too many flashbacks and questionable behavior hamper this otherwise interesting sci fi yarn that goes half hog to its detriment. the amiable ambiguity makes it worth it. 3/5
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania 2023
too long installment takes too long to become what it is: a mediocre movie not saved in post with cgi. although it’s the same director as the first two it plays more like a cash-in by committee, including everything and the kitchen sink but zero engagement. it’s bad news when the vfx come off more real than the flesh and blood cast. and almost everyone’s hair is bad to boot. 2.5/5
A Place In the Sun 1951
Elizabeth Taylor and Montgomery Clift star in this dark tale of social class, love and murder. Clift is a poor young man looking to work his way up in his uncle’s company where he sleeps with a fellow employee. after knocking her up he falls for beautiful socialite Taylor but his modest past and moral obligation threaten his newfound status. an excellent drama that pulls no punches. 4/5
Arabesque 1966
giallo-esque mystery about a history professor who’s drawn into murder concerning a hieroglyphic translation. directed with flair by Stanley Donen, this twisty, colorful thriller sees Gregory Peck as a sort of pre Indiana Jones trying to outsmart international thugs and lunatics. and Sophia Loren. a great cast, sets and locations outweigh the few misfire moments. 3/5
Arnold 1973
odd and silly macabre comedy with Stella Stevens, Roddy McDowall, Victor Buono, Elsa Lanchester, Farley Granger etc opens with cadaver nuptials but never takes flight despite the cast. not very good but if you crave some friendly faces and vintage tv mystery style doings, keep your expectations low and it’ll suffice. 2.5/5
Arrebato/Rapture 1979
weird, dark and surreal tale of artists becoming absorbed in their art and how addiction in its many forms robs one of their humanity. I think. a drug using filmmaker receives a reel of film and a cassette recording from an unstable drug using filmmaker and soon finds himself lost in the other’s nightmare existence. a time shifting, non linear story with odd musical cues and sound fx, overly saturated colors and more keep the viewer off balance… but to what end? an experimental film that was unsettling, even creepy at times, seemed a long way to comment about how one’s obsession can consume them. while I enjoyed the supernatural/sci fi aspect, that angle was far too (pardon the pun) underdeveloped for me. maybe the film was commentary? maybe you had to be there. 2.5/5
A Scream In the Streets 1973
a total riot so far over the top it cannot be reasonably called anything but a silly softcore porno masquerading as a police thriller. a transvestite rapes and kills women while a pair of cops try to stop him. it could’ve been a sick and twisted “roughie” but instead settled for wacky sleazefest with some fairly brutal highlights. there’s also a “Dirty Harry” vibe somewhere in there what with all the talk of rights, warrants etc and one of our heroes’ awesome disregard thereof. fast forward thru (most of) its pointless and meandering sex scenes and you’re in for a freaky joyride thru sicko-ville. the lesbian 911 call is a highlight. beyond terrible but oh so entertaining. 3/5
As Deusas/The Goddesses 1970
another Walter Hugo Khouri film, another oddity set on an isolated estate this time concerning a troubled woman and the man (and woman) in her life. the script ruminates on man’s significance vs nature as well as the fleeting substance of human life and our urgency to live it to the fullest. an interesting effect is created by surreal visuals combined with abstract edits, mysterious performances and an odd soundtrack that’s both haunting and effective, even if not always simultaneously. in some scenes the music altered what could’ve been creepy while at other times it seemed to make the ordinary anything but. the result is a film that is hard to define, both many things at once and as formless as a dream. shades of “Persona” in the symbiotic relationships that develop: it’s almost horror without the horror. with some truly beautiful scenes like the waterfall swim, the cliffside stairs, the doctor’s nighttime window and the many shots of the palatial surroundings. 3.5/5
As Filhas do Fogo/Daughters of Fire 1978
spoiled young Diana living on her secluded ancestral estate invites friend and lover Ana to stay with her while her father is out of the country. soon the two become lost in a seemingly parallel world where life and the afterlife become one. “AFDF” is the definition of a slow burn. moody, dreamlike, mysterious and enigmatic are all words that come to mind when describing this spookfest. the palatial location literally becomes as flesh and blood as the human characters who are as shifty and hard to pin down as the script. the film sometimes borders on exploitation but that only adds to its strangeness and unpredictability. the director may have been commenting on his culture being usurped but I know nothing of the film’s politics. I only know that one viewing was not enough for this unique ghost story. there is paganism, bacchanalia, paranormal communication, wandering spirits and a sprawling estate with more than its share of secrets. most of the characters are doomed from the start; some are outsiders caught in the grounds’ fatal orbit. some, like Diana and her ancestors, came to Brazil and sought to make their new home more like their old one. only one character, the lusty native housemaid, seems to see the world and her role in it clearly- or is she in fact guilty of much more than what Diana playfully reveals? surreal, strange and beautiful, it’s worth looking for if you like your haunted houses on the dreamier side of life. 4/5
The Asphalt Jungle 1950
top notch noir about the broken, the corrupt, the users and the used that centers on a jewel heist. this classic with a great script, photography and performances is witty and tough. ’nuff said. starring Sterling Hayden and a radiant Marilyn Monroe in a small but key role. 3/5
The Astronaut 1972
tv movie with Monte Markham and Susan Clark about a future space program trying to cover up an accident on Mars. good performances and a thought provoking script in what’s mostly a relationship drama. it’s fine for what it is but I would’ve preferred a more sinister and paranoid take where maybe the wife’s mental state was questionable from the start etc etc. with Jackie Cooper and Richard Anderson 3/5
Au rendez-vous de la mort joyeuse aka Expulsion of the Devil 1973
a family buys a fixer-upper only to find spooky mirrors, lack of birdsong, a ball slowly rolling down stairs, a ghastly would-be seductress, holes in the floor and flying objects. they also invite a film crew into their home to document the activity. sound familiar? this may have inspired lots of haunted house movies but aside from a few chills it’s too low key to be very scary. directed by Luis Bunuel’s son Juan. 2.5/5
Avatar: The Way of Water 2022
it’s a technical achievement yes but is it a movie? I’m not sure being bombarded and manipulated for three hours counts. I wasn’t a fan of the first one so maybe I’m not the target audience for this. it was beautiful to look at, whether it seemed real or not, but that only made me wonder if it had used an entirely human looking cast would it have been any less impressive to behold. it certainly would’ve been less expensive to make. I have to admit I found it very long and less than compelling so perhaps it’s for the best that it used so much cgi. 2.5/5
A Woman’s Secret 1949
mystery with Maureen O’Hara and Melvyn Douglas about a woman who confesses to shooting her friend. the comedy is so effortless I wish the film had been more silly than dramatic. Gloria Grahame fairly glows as she’s asked to lip sync a few songs but even she can’t save this. a bland 2.5/5
Az otodik pecset/The Fifth Seal 1976
dark, dispiriting look at occupied Hungary sees a group of friends discussing morality over dinner when they are interrupted by two Arrow Cross officers saluting Ferenc Szalasi. the harsh realities of the friends’ world intrude upon their philosophical talk and they can no longer simply debate from a distance. noble ideals seem very far away when you’re getting kicked and punched by mindless brutes. it’s a very powerful and reflective film by Zoltan Fabri. it poses difficult questions such as: is it better to be the oppressor or the oppressed? is your self preservation worth your soul? a difficult but thought provoking 4/5

B

The Baby 1973
whoa this is one weird movie! an only in the ’70s bit of icky, twisted crap about a mom, her two daughters and baby. there’s sadism, creepy incest, a shock ending and more to elevate this demented black comedy to goofy entertaining heights. for the depraved fun and games an easy 3/5
Bad 1977
another NY-set tale quickly introduces a bathroom hater and then a crude shoplifter before the really bad show up: sicko murderers for hire and the creeps and farters who hire them. more a series of ugly, unspirited vignettes than a movie, it oozes ’70s “chleaze” from every dingy frame. a few shock laughs but that’s about it. billed as “Andy Warhol’s Bad,” I don’t know if he was but this definitely is. with Perry King and Carroll Baker. 1.5/5
The Bad and the Beautiful 1952
Vincente Minnelli directs a powerhouse cast in this tale of a manipulative movie producer and the stars and enemies he makes. I wasn’t a fan of the flashback structure and there were a bit too many melodramatic ’50s moments but it’s otherwise so well made it didn’t much matter. with Kirk Douglas, Dick Powell and Lana Turner. 3/5
The Bang Bang Gang 1970
two schlubs try to be bad but two cute gals beat them to it in this silly softcore bankrobbing cheapie. as bad as you’d expect for a semi-nudie but could’ve been more fun if it wasn’t so square, although it does get increasingly lurid and darker as it goes. no chitty but there was plenty of its rhyme with good bar and barn scenes. otherwise, a lumpy script, amateur performers, a priceless soundtrack (as in no worth) and beyond unfunny jokes add up to weird, don’t-waste-your-time slop. 1.5/5
Barbarian 2021
relentlessly implausible thriller about jerks and idiots, all who deserved everything they got. it’s hard to get scared when you’re watching “Dumb and Dumber Meet The Monster.” would be funny if it wasn’t so stupid. VERY kind half star for the rotten neighborhood and creepy sets. 1.5/5
The Batman 2020
long on runtime and short on originality, I thought it was too dark (literally) and too violent. when it wasn’t boring it seemed like a greatest hits of the previous franchises. profanity, mtv style montage sequences and needless narration were negatives and a now homicidal Riddler keep this from being any fun at all. I did like the take on Penguin tho and his fiery chase scene was good. 2/5
Beatriz 1976
persistent narration mars an otherwise fine Spanish tale about siblings Juan and Beatriz, Satanic curses and a mysterious traveling monk. well photographed with terrific outdoor settings and moody compositions including spooky nighttime scenes that border on surreal. there’s lots of violence but no gore; however there is an ugly “Straw Dogs” moment. a good cast features the atemberaubend Nadiuska. 3/5
Because of the Cats 1973
Dutch trash about Dutch scum sees police trying to stop a gang of rich young rapist killers. a commune cult gets out of control with weird dancing and chanting and lotsa nudity. tedious and ugly stuff with possible cruelty to cats. yuck. 1/5
Bedlam 1946
from Val Lewton comes this tragedy clothed as historical drama. Boris Karloff plays tyrant/snake asylum director Sims. based on a notorious European mental asylum, it portrays the inhuman conditions and treatment of the mentally ill in the days when little was understood of the mind. cowritten by Lewton, it contains some sharp dialog amid the discussions of classism, compassion and man’s nature. 3/5
Belle 1973
odd film about an odd man who meets an odd woman after he runs over her dog. the man’s married with a daughter he may or may not be attracted to and the woman lives with another man in a farmhouse on the moors so of course the odd man and woman (who can’t even communicate with each other) start an affair. there’s ninety minutes of that plus gorgeous outdoor photography. 2.5/5
Between Time and Timbuktu 1972
very funny tv movie about a contest winner (William Hickey) who goes into space and winds up in three Kurt Vonnegut adaptations. offbeat and very watchable with some animated psychedelic segments and tons of deadpan humor, including a hilarious early interview of winner Stony Stevenson’s mother. with Kevin McCarthy, “Cousin Brucie,” Franklin Cover etc 3.5/5
Bijo to ekitai ningen aka The H Man 1959
(dubbed version off tubi) after an explosive, rousing intro, cue the theremin. or that bendy sawblade thing. anyway, someone gets hit by a car but manages to vanish into thin air despite leaving behind their clothes. and a bag of stolen drugs, which lead the police to a scientist investigating some man eating slime. fairly high production values elevate this from its c-movie essence but there are too many silly moments and overlong niteclub sequences (as appealing as some of the performers are) to matter. some nice touches like the flashlight-lit abandoned ship, cool melty faces, a giallo-esque creep, and that lush 1950s color in the outdoor and niteclub shots make it watchable. otherwise it’s a pretty goofy version of “The Blob.” on the plus side, after it eats your flesh your clothes will be soap bubble clean! 2/5
Bila nemoc aka Skeleton On Horseback aka The White Plague 1937
dark Czech allegory of a fascist regime dealing with a plague dubbed the “white death” because of white lesions on the skin. when a smalltown doctor brings his potential cure to a clinic he has a clash of ideals with its regime-friendly chief. the doctor’s mission is to use his cure only for the poor and won’t divulge the formula until the world’s nations declare an end to war. obviously this doesn’t sit well with his war mongering overlords. some choice quotes from both sides of the conflict: “It is the duty of every doctor to eliminate war.” “He who is against killing is against our best interests.” a thought provoking script, taut direction, complex characters, excellent b+w photography and some expressionistic compositions make this a winner. an easy 4/5
Birdman 2014
Michael Keaton leads a good cast playing unlikable people behaving badly as an aging star stages a comeback. takes the easy way out too often when it isn’t being offputting. stylishly shot, ambiguous fantasy isn’t much fun except for one moment with a motivational Zach Galifinakis. a very reluctant 3/5
Black Adam 2022
yay, another DC movie with some color! but don’t worry- it still contains tons of darkly lit scenes. the Rock stars in this violent, indulgent big budget tale of the DC antihero with curious musical choices and too much exposition. and why did Sarah Shahi need an accent? oh Shaw, I remember thee well. the action is fast paced and while sometimes video-gamish mostly looks very good. the film is a bit derivative with some problematic editing/manufactured narrative but is enjoyable enough. 3/5
Black Belt 1974
corny, talky Hong Kong grindhouse fare about human traffickers and the blind woman who recognizes one of their voices, setting out with her friends to find him only to wind up once again in his clutches. there are some sleazy over the top moments, the martial arts are mostly handled well (including all the ridiculous sound fx) but there’s too little else to keep things afloat. with very little in the way of gore, violence or nudity that would feel at home in a picture like this, we’re left with long, loud fights in a chatty wannabe gangster action flick that plays almost as much like a dull tv mystery movie. a moderately effective score punches up a few scenes but at its core this is pretty low grade stuff. not helping was the noisy, stuttery, brutally cropped print I watched but it was at least subtitled. I soon found it tiresome but if you’re hard up for some ’70s martial arts schlock give it a shot. otherwise for completists only. 2/5
Black Narcissus 1947
Deborah Kerr stars in this well photographed tale of a young nun tasked with turning an old palace in the Tibetan mountains into a school. the film has a spellbinding, timeless quality to much of it with a muted color pallete that works favorably toward turning both the interiors and natural landscapes into works of art not unlike those in the opening credits. the general tone is restrained drama but several remarkably effective moments utilize horror or early Euro nunsploitation. it’s mostly beautifully lit with great sets and compositions that recall viewmaster reels or other three dimensional images. definitely worth watching, there’s excellent atmosphere and performances but a bit of a soapy, clumsy script hinders the final result. 3.5/5
Black Panther: Wakanda Forever 2022
well made and mostly enjoyable if overlong continuation of the story dealing with the all too real loss of Chadwick Boseman sees sister Shuri rise to the challenge. though the forced majesty was not at all subtle, the grieving characters felt earned and appropriate. slick action and vfx helped balance the heavy reliance on soundtrack fodder. I liked Shuri’s panther helmet while young genius Riri’s armor suit reminded me as much of EVE from “WALL-E” as Iron Man. a bit better than the first installment as that one was too much of the cookie cutter Disney/Pixar “child on an adventure of discovery/redemption” formula but ymmv. and btw: this ain’t your father’s Namor. 3/5
The Black Panther 1977
extremely rough British production based on true events. this is a grim and disturbing film detailing the petty crimes and opportunistic murders committed by an unhinged ex-military father ostensibly to provide for his family. it has a lurid low budget feel that really works in its favor. while most of the film revolves around his schemes, there is an emphasis on the effects his actions have on the people involved. since the mc has no real connection to either his family or reality in general, it’s his victims who seem most genuine and who the viewer connects with. a very unpleasant 3/5
The Black Room 1935
Boris plays twins, one fair and one foul, trying to settle their late father’s estate in this neat old creaker. with a good dog, mostly excellent photography and lighting, great atmosphere and great sets like the cemetery and the beautiful castle, it goes down real easy. 3/5
Black Samurai 1975
after a normal enough opener, things get steamy poolside before armed goons turn the water red. Al Adamson must’ve had a budget to work with this time because the usual touches are prettied up enough to be almost acceptable. still, bizarre characters, “expertly choreographed fight scenes” with kickass banter, hilarious sound fx, oddly drawn out sections (ie the mariachi band), amazing parties and funky music make this a blast. with a ripped Jim Kelly. 3/5
Blaznova Kronika/A Jester’s Tale 1964
imaginative, amusing tale of the adventures of three travelers during the 30 Years War by Czech animator and movie maker Karel Zemen. narrated straight out of a storybook, it’s a little “Three Musketeers” and a little more “Don Quixote” but I found it less enthralling than Zemen’s better work. using a blend of live action and various animation techniques including camera tricks and paper cut outs a la Terry Gilliam (but decidedly less Pythonesque) creates a sense of wonder which, paired with good use of extensive locations and sets, is almost enough to make this a winner. I liked but didn’t love it as it often seemed a bit childish and while the cast was good, a lot of moving around by a lot of characters wore thin and soon meandering. I suppose that’s the “adventure” part of the tale but I found it all a bit too broad for my taste. the film is certainly upbeat and funny even as it skirts around very unpleasant historical matters. imo not a classic but still solid 3/5
Blonde Fever 1944
Gloria Grahame is terrific in her film debut in future tv director Richard Whorf’s comedy about a married cafe owner who falls for a young waitress. a bit old fashioned with its setting in scandalous Reno where marriages come and go yet wife Mary Astor (with electric sweater) is modern minded and no fool- she knows her husband’s unfaithful. mostly good dialog but it’s all a bit on the cheap and would’ve been better as a mindless comedy than the worldly loveplay it aims to be. Grahame easily gives the best performance- she’s irresistible even as a gold digging heartbreaker, somehow managing to make the people she apologizes to feel both guilty and thankful. Johnny the bartender is awesome in this hour-ish diversion. 3/5
Blood and Lace 1971
who knew uncle Leo was so ripped? strange days indeed at this orphanage surrounded by creeps. playing like the sleaziest tv movie ever made, you can see ONE of the twists a mile away but it’s so much fun you won’t care. truly demented and certainly violent if not gory, this one is like Brownrigg had producers with Hollywood money. including Gloria Grahame, Melody Patterson from “F Troop,” Vic Tayback and Dennis Christopher. an “only in the ’70s” horny horror classic. 3/5
Blood From The Mummy’s Tomb 1971
an ancient ritual, a pack of barking dogs, a throat-slashing sandstorm, a crawling hand, a beautiful woman having a nightmare… all this in the first scene? fairly gory but middling Hammer film about a long dead Egyptian queen stars the stunning Valerie Leon as the daughter of an archaeologist who becomes the queen’s instrument for resurrection. not their best but colorfully shot and helped by a good score, sets, props and atmospheric lighting. a not bad 2.5/5
Blood Of Dracula’s Castle 1969
why oh why do I do this to myself? oh yeah ’cause it’s awesome! uncle Al strikes again with another roller coaster ride of bearably bad and unbearably good. after an unorthodox parking job, the extended mix version of the opening song sees the driver (who would fit right into an ’80s MTV video) fall into the clutches of John Carradine. alas he does not play Dracula here; he plays the count’s wine captain. see, he and the good Dracula and his wife (and Mango- can’t forget about Mango) are castle-dwelling eccentrics who smartly maintain their own plasma meatmarket. they are reunited with Johnny, a charming escaped convict who’s a real people person and their former “procurer,” shortly before our heroes (oh yeah, remember them?) fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinally get around to checking out their future family home. both the acting and script are pretty good – in fact it’s all fairly competently made, certainly by Adamson standards. but don’t despair- there’s plenty to love: Mr. and Mrs. Dracula who are more “Falcon Crest” than Transylvania, Mango the “Brady Bunch” Lurch, an amazing hitchhiker/car crash sequence, the intermittently hilarious musical score, a great candelabra stair walk scene and the full moon sacrifice. one of my faves of his; solid if early schlock. 3/5 if you’re hip.
Bloodrage aka Never Pick Up A Stranger 1980
I’m on the fence about this one. on the one hand, it’s a twisted piece of trash about a twisted piece of trash that tries to be a sort of horrific “Taxi Driver” but fails in its aimless direction and a (way) less than compelling lead. but on the other it’s a twisted piece of trash that, if it were made maybe 10 years earlier, would’ve been a landmark low budget sleazefest. it’s good enough to make you wish it were better but bad enough to leave a bad taste in your mouth.
directed by Joseph Zito, it’s sleazy because it’s meant to be, not because of any technical merit or a script anything other than passable. I’m a sucker for sleazy ’70s movies, especially if not exclusively the low budget ones, so this bit of yuck was right up my alley, but even I had to shake my head more than once and wonder what might’ve been. a host of missed opportunities keep this film from transcending its schlock roots, which is a shame because for a psycho-sexual wacko movie the kills are mostly bloodless, the titillation factor low, which leaves the film a scummy character study of a one dimensional character. while I always welcome contemporary soundtracks, in this case the glitzy disco music seemed woefully inadequate where a sparse, electronic score would’ve helped set a mood. also, the NYC locations are underused. too much time is spent watching the weirdo stare out windows while the script details his future victims’ activities. since none of it has any bearing its inclusion amounts to tedium. one of cinema’s most inept killers being tracked by one of NY’s not so finest means our babyfaced sicko (Ian Scott) can kill to his (lack of a) heart’s content in the wormy big apple without so much as anyone even hearing the screams of his prostitute or drug dealer victims. his unenlightened narration doesn’t add much to an uninspired performance but it’s mostly par for the course with the exception of Lawrence Tierney and James Johnson in small roles. I got a chuckle out of the abrupt ending and while the movie did scratch my ’70s trash itch it all felt like a half hearted swing and miss. with its NYC setting, grindhouse mean streak, unlikable cast, rampant misogyny and low budget aesthetic, it had all the makings of a nasty bit of horror but never quite got up the will to get there. 2/5 for the unfulfilled potential.
Bloodsucking Freaks 1978
atrocious, unfunny, unconvincing bottom of the barrel garbage that doesn’t even have the energy to live up to its stupid, stupid, stupid wannabe shockfare “aspirations.” yes I get that it’s supposed to be sleazier than sleazy but it’s only grotesquely inept like some twisted high schooler’s home movie of depravity. I’m sorry but this isn’t worth anyone’s time or money. oh look, naked women are used as furniture (and worse) oh look, some poor woman is being tortured in a dentist’s chair. oh look, a dwarf. yuck. no thanks. and this is coming from someone who loved an actually sleazy movie with a little person: “The Sinful Dwarf.” I even enjoy crap for crap’s sake but this isn’t even crap- it’s barely even the lingering odor of crap. avoid. avoid. avoid. 0/5
Blood Tea and Red String 2006
very strange stop motion animated film by Christiane Cegavske about rival woodland creatures and their plans for a humanoid doll. while maybe not technically horror there is nevertheless plenty of horrific imagery including some very creepy birds and their bizarre rituals. dialog free but filled with odd music and sound effects, it really is a marvel to behold with visuals alternately beautiful and unsettling. spider-creatures, metamorphic transformations and a neat crow adorned with a skull mask are just some of the otherworldly characters that inhabit this dream(nightmare)scape. try it if you crave something completely different. 4/5
Bloodthirsty Butchers 1970
with a ridiculously pervasive musical score befitting a tv movie about pirates, this film’s opening shots are beyond incredible. the genius of Andy Milligan hits you like a sledgehammer. ok, more like a rubber hand. this (somehow devoid of any nighttime fog) jaunt to jolly olde England is splattered with the red stuff as it’s a retelling of “Sweeney Todd.” there are loads of unlikable characters, terrible wigs, lousy accents, clearly historically inaccurate makeup, dull, unflattering compositions, surprisingly long boring stretches that are (even more surprisingly) often fascinating, scads of face spitting, nudity and more! featuring one of the best backstage “fights” (with outstanding background music) and what has to be the longest and least erotic alleyway tryst ever filmed. a few scene “transitions” look like footage from the camera being knocked over and most of the “gore effects” are sorely lacking although the uneven acting is a step up from the norm and the locations are mostly good. 3/5 because where else can you find crap like this?
Blue Beetle 2023
Latino superhero story is first half talk heavy and second half silly as it also become ambassadorial without adding anything new beyond stereotypes and homages. it tries very hard to inject flavor which helps to counter the lacking script. everything but the kitchen sink humor means some works and the film looks very good especially in the darker scenes. plays like a theme park roller coaster ride but there are worse ways to make a movie. mostly entertaining despite the pandering. 3/5
The Blue Dahlia 1946
Raymond Chandler scripted mystery about a tough veteran who finds plenty of trouble upon his return. full of great characters and great dialog, the story plays out with nary a dull moment. with Alan Ladd, Veronica Lake, Hugh Beaumont and a wound-too-tight William Bendix. 3/5
Bob’s Burgers: The Movie 2022
Louise sheds her hat! sort of. Bob and Linda face foreclosure in this mostly entertaining feature. playing like an extended tv episode (and a below average one at that), it relies heavily on musical numbers that feel like padding. simply ok. 2.5/5
Body of the Prey aka The Revenge of Dr. X 1967
this extremely low budget, Ed Wood co-written bomb quickly treats us to a series of smart exchanges between Dr. Bragen and a nonsmoker. doesn’t sound very exciting, does it? it isn’t. but these doctors work with rockets. they work hard and sometimes they need a vacation. and what better way to spend a vacation than in a foreign country experimenting with man eating plants and shouting at people? yes, intense Dr. Bragen is a sort of jerk of all trades: mad scientist, botanist, diver, ladies man… speaking of wood, can a film be said to look wooden? this looks like it was filmed in 3d by a drunk cameraman who never bothered to process it. and speaking of drunk, star James Craig delivers most of his lines like he’s had the one you have when you’re having more than one. while certainly hilarious, the utterly shameless soundtrack seemingly made up of various public domain elements (and some random percussion) make this into a too broad tv pilot that was wisely never picked up. the less said about the smiling hunchback the better. on the plus side, the greenhouse lab is pretty awesome and the puppy eating plantman is goofy as can be. “It, uh… does smell good.” 3/5 for the laughs
Born To Kill 1947
psychotic palooka chases mysterious divorcee. and her sister in law. and anyone who gets on his bad side, which doesn’t leave many. smartly written noir with a cruel streak stars Claire Trevor, Lawrence Tierney and Elisha Cook Jr. 3/5
Brainstorm 1965
man rescues the wife of his rich boss and goes to great lengths to regret it in this beautifully filmed b+w noir. Jeffrey Hunter is tepid while Anne Francis sizzles. look for Richard Kiel and Strother Martin. 3/5
The Brass Bottle 1964
pre “Odd Couple” and “I Dream of Jeannie” Tony Randall and Barbara Eden fantasy comedy about a man who finds a genie less than helpful. silly, broad and not so fun or funny but perhaps gave someone ideas. unfortunately at least one of those ideas, like finding humor in telling your genie not to use magic, lingered on. I’d like to think Felix would’ve had more imagination. with Burl Ives but not enough Eden. 2.5/5
Brazil 1985
Terry Gilliam’s sci fi dystopian fantasy is futuristic, retro and very funny. a meek clerk gets involved with a dangerous woman and stages a revolt against bureaucracy. make sure to watch the director’s cut- anything else is pointless. with Jonathan Price and Robert DeNiro in a small but awesome role. 4/5
Breezy 1973
William Holden and Kay Lenz star as ill suited lovers who teach each other a thing or two about life. humorous and touching, it’s well written and the cast is uniformly excellent. with a repulsive Joan Hotchkis and Earle the dog. directed by Clint Eastwood. 3/5
The Brood 1979
Oliver Reed’s unique therapy has unintended results in Cronenberg’s tale of rotten kids and their singular mother that’s gross and goofy and creepier for it. early tale of body horror from the pioneering master. 3/5
The Brotherhood of the Bell 1970
tv movie with giallo leanings about a creepy bunch and their newest recruit. a lively cast, good use of locations and unusual camera work keep this maze of paranoia watchable. with an angry Glenn Ford, Will Geer, William Conrad and others. 3/5
Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker 1982
sometimes you need to watch a low budget ’80s horror movie with laughable gore and bad music starring a wooden Jimmy McNichol and Bo Svenson as a jerk cop. wait, that should’ve read no one ever need subject themselves to this oddball lameness, not even for charity. after opening like a vintage tv commercial, we’re treated to a wet bang and then aunt Cheryl. she’s quite the prize. it all looks bland and flat but the performances and kills are too so it’s consistent at least. otoh, it’s got nosy neighbors, Bill Paxton standing still waiting for a shake to be poured over his head and a quite appealing Julia Duffy (who according to imdb was 31yo here? she looks like a teenager!) 1.5/5
Byleth (Il demone dell’incesto)/Byleth: The Demon of Incest 1972
offputting/entertaining bit of Italian sleaze plays like one weird ass gothic softcorn complete with overbearing (at best) music, tons of nudity and a few murders. but unfortunately it’s not another “The Exorcist” ripoff- no demons here. and it’s too tame to be truly repulsive. instead it’s more of a twisted love story with weirdness to spare. which helps because it’s not very good otherwise: it’s cheap, stagey and lazy. the print was alternately terrific and shoddy but that’s not a knock on the film itself. at least the women were attractive (if Euro-groomed) and it’s mostly competently shot. a bit of everything and not much of anything. 2/5

C

Cadaveri eccellenti/Illustrious Corpses 1976
a policeman tracks down a judge killer in this well written Italian political thriller. the conspiratorial plot gets a bit convoluted with too much exposition and the print I saw was color-faded. otherwise there’s excellent cinematography and locations including an Escher-like warehouse and striking crypts and public spaces. warning: contains possible violence to a cat. wtf is with ’70s movies and animal violence?? with ?a dubbed? Max Von Sydow. 3/5
Cadena perpetua/Life Sentence 1979
ugly Mexican portrait of a repulsive individual surrounded by other repulsive individuals tells the sordid story of Tarzan, a “reformed” crook who tries to go straight. that is, he may be a gropey adulterer but at least he no longer picks pockets or pimps out prostitutes. there’s no sympathy for the raging a-hole mc since his “new leaf” life is never shown, leaving him the same p.o.s. he was before. there’s no one to like except for a few unfortunates caught in the disgusting characters’ orbits. this isn’t so much a crime drama as it is a parade of unpleasantness. it’s a dingy story dingily filmed and a failure as a morality play or even a tragedy because why would anyone feel anything other than disdain for the lead? 2.5/5 only because it’s competently made.
The Candy Tangerine Man 1974
the Baron is a pimp with a tricked out Rolls and a heart of gold ’cause he’s also a family man! John Daniels is fine in the role but most everyone else is amateur hour tho the “heroes” are amiable enough. goofy and loaded with fly ladies, funky music and plenty of obligatory hard R language, it’s also directed by Matt Cimber so you know there’s gonna be some really weird/sleazy moments. and there are. not “TWWCFTS” weird but still weird. 2.5/5
Caperucita y Pulgarcito contra los monstruos aka Tom Thumb and Little Red Riding Hood 1962
(hilariously dubbed version off tubi) ill conceived and extremely bizarre “children’s fare” with everything under the kitchen sink: classic movie monsters, grunting savages, giant talking skunks, Satan worshipping witches, a wolf and ogre comedy duo, an awesome kidnapper and ?carrot head? this freakshow features some nightmarish visuals that, coupled with surreal dubbing, make it quite unforgettable and immensely entertaining. or disturbing, depending on your age/mental state. the print might’ve been salvaged from the Titanic it was so washed out which only added to the trippiness. (much more vibrant, original language prints are out there) for a unique viewing 3/5; otherwise 1/5
Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter 1972
not one of Hammer’s best sees the good captain take his sweet time vampire wise but at least the maidens are fair. until they’re turned into old hags. I’d like to know who was the first to have all the beautiful women killed off in a movie so I can go back in time and slap them. this one’s burdened with dull compositions and lighting, a slow pace, less than compelling leads and comes off like a low budget period piece with no authenticity or atmosphere. maybe a remake would have some fangs. 2/5
The Carey Treatment 1972
a doctor starts at a new hospital and winds up investigating the death of a teen. James Coburn is the doctor determined to clear his friend in what’s basically an unexciting, melodramatic ’60s movie at heart. with great station wagon driving and Lance Rock himself. 2.5/5
Carnage 1984
well I’m as surprised as anyone to say this is a typical ’80s low budget horror movie. it’s also more laugh out loud and overall entertaining than most horror movies. there’s that word again: horror. from Andy Milligan. I had a review started but then a funny thing happened: Andy made an actual horror movie. one that surprised me. it didn’t scare me but it had real, honest to goodness scary elements. it had a very effective opening scene. some pretty good kills. well sure, some were bad, terrible even, but they WORKED. creepy ghosts. and of course the ridiculous music, silly dialog and uneven acting that’s par for the course. the Milligan style means things are weird even when they’re not supposed to be which suits the proceedings well. it’s dark and it’s quirky and it’s a shame he didn’t have a few more straight up horror movies in him. an entertaining 3/5
Carodujev ucen aka Krabat aka The Sorcerer’s Apprentice 1977
Karel Zemen directs this fantasy of Krabat, a young beggar who finds employment in an old taskmaster’s mill. he soon discovers that he is not alone and the real purpose of the mill is sinister. imo this one gets off to a slow start but picks up about a quarter way in when the titular sorcerer reveals himself. there are wonderful moments as the sorcerer literally has eyes everywhere to keep his subjects in line, be they at work or hiding in the forest. with a minimalist animation style, the human characters suffer a bit from lack of variety in facial expressions but the animals are colorfully designed and more expressive. perhaps a bit slow for today’s viewers, the story is imaginative and romantic at its core which sets up the finale fairly organically. good for the family but some mildly bloody and frightening images may be too much for toddlers. 3.5/5
Celia 1989
sad and spooky tale of a young girl adjusting to her new home in rural Australia who finds that life, like children, can be cruel. terrors both real and imagined abound in this evocative film written and directed by Ann Turner. 3.5/5
Ceremonia sangrienta aka The Legend of Blood Castle 1973
fairly dull mishmash of vampiric lore too often looks and plays like made for tv fare despite the red paint. it’s basically another Bathory tale, this time with none of the titillation usually found in these films. instead there’s weird bread and bad harpsichord. best scene was Elizabeth’s guilt trippy nightmare. warning: contains needless avian violence. 2.5/5
Cesta do praveku/Journey To the Beginning of Time 1955
well done but didactic yarn from Karel Zemen about four kids who travel back in time to witness (and go to great lengths to catalog, both in writing and orally) living, breathing dinosaurs. seemed to me it all could’ve been in their imagination which at times gave it a Huck Finn vibe. it drags some here and there but the real draw is the animation. it’s not outstanding imo but I’m no expert. most of the animation scenes looked very good and were paired with good sound design. the children were for the most part rational, intrepid and a bit imperialistic, at least the youngest one, with a less “study” and more “dispel” approach to native fauna that I didn’t care for. the stop motion effects are mostly enjoyable and some sequences are very well done like the sunset battle viewed across the river although the print I saw had a few inconsistently lit shots. maybe too talky and unevenly paced for older kids but the younguns should enjoy it. 3/5
Chase A Crooked Shadow 1959
Douglas Fairbanks Jr produced this psychological thriller about a brother who seemingly returns from the dead and the sister no one believes. well shot with atmosphere to spare, this twisty paranoid tale stars Anne Baxter and Herbert Lom. 3/5
The Child 1977
wow. ok. car trouble and weird duck calls music gets this off to a good start and then it becomes just the right amount of bad/out there for me. did you ever find a movie that was exactly what you were in the mood for? that was this. it’s got Goblin-wannabe music (Sloblin?) and bizarre voice overs that create a disconnected feeling that sometimes works to its advantage. other times it’s a stew of zanily stupid and humorously puzzling segments linked by an abrasive, all over the place score. it reminded me of “Cathy’s Curse” and “Evil Dead” at times and there are a few extra gory moments, freaky zombies and a cool jackolantern to boot. some nice exterior shots of the estate and one or two creatively surreal moments make this a real head scratcher. but it feels so good! easy 3/5 for me but ymmv
Child’s Play 1972
James Mason and Robert Preston star in this psychological thriller from Sidney Lumet about a weird boys school full of weird people. good in a twisted tv movie way but suffers from an inadequate treatment. Lumet seems to have tried to capture a stage play but he chose the wrong path imo. what could’ve been an epic power struggle between the two stars is second fiddle to the less compelling multi character central mystery. making Mason and Preston’s increasingly venomous battle the focus, iow giving Lumet his “theater,” and using the students’ shenanigans to build tension and frame the reveal would’ve been more effective. despite the encouragingly open ending, a somewhat disappointing 3/5
Chinesisches Roulette/Chinese Roulette 1976
Rainer Winder Fassbinder wrote and directed this visually striking, complex but sometimes stagey drama centered on a married couple’s problems and their problematic responses. featuring androgynous/bizarre characters, lots of reflections and watching thru windows, grown up children and childish adults all having to face themselves. it gets dark indeed while the ambiguous ending feels somehow appropriate. 3/5
Christmas Evil 1980
following an amazing start, this turns into a dingy character study of a man with a complicated relationship with Christmas. instead of a god complex, our Harry has a Santa complex, even going so far as to keep a naughty and nice list of the neighborhood children. children he spies on with binoculars. or thru their windows. this was my second attempt at watching this. the first time I was too put off by the contrasting comedic tone and over the top music following the opening and bailed after the first ten minutes. I’m glad I gave it another chance. though it’s far from perfect or even very good, it’s super weird, surreally creepy and there are more than a few laughs as Harry commits further and further to his newfound identity. featuring some great uses for toys, solid nighttime photography, a Geraldo Rivera wannabe and one very unappealing office party. 3/5
Chuchelo/Scarecrow 1983
Russian story of a new girl in school who has a rough go of it has great camerawork and plenty of menace aided by an often unearthly score. an excellent young cast (especially star Kristina Orbakaite), great locations and some genuinely creepy moments round out this affecting, offbeat drama. 3.5/5
Cinderella 2000 1977
ouch. truly terrible, painfully unfunny and thoroughly unerotic sci fi sex “comedy/musical” by Al Adamson. the kind of junk that would’ve been on cable in the early ’80s (Escapade, anyone?) and even a horny teenaged me would choose network tv over this nudity-filled dreck. that the musical numbers are the best parts is saying precious little, although there are maybe 1 to 1.7 laughs to be had during them. only saving graces are the terrarium landscapes and a very appealing lead in Catharine Burgess. whatever medication is necessary to enjoy this I was fresh out. 0.5/5
Climax 2018
Gaspar Noe’s bad trip isn’t so much horror as horrifying as a group of randy young dancers are dosed with high levels of lsd via spiked sangria. some truly disturbing and grotesque sequences are par for the excess course here, and since the viewer is left out of the drugged characters’ inner trips we’re left with a literally dizzying outsiders’ perspective as the atrocities pile up. works better as an anti-acid psa than as a horror film, and it’s certainly among the most unpleasant viewing experiences I’ve ever had. seems like the director and crew were on drugs, so what could’ve been a sfx hallucinations tour de force for the viewer instead is just bad people behaving barbarically over thumping bass captured on vomit-cam. 1.5/5
Cold Pursuit 2018
Liam Neeson again kicking butt this time as a plowdriver you don’t want to mess with. more vendettas, more of the same cartoon villains but at least it’s nicely shot with some tension due to an effective soundtrack. this one even manages to be light hearted and wink wink racist, as in, we know it’s racist! that’s how bad this baddie is! there must be a galaxy of fanfiction about how Neeson got so resourcefully dangerous in these movies- he sure is well rounded. real husband material. too much time is spent not with him kicking butt and it’s cheesy yes but there’s nice scenery and a few decent moments to go along with your slices. 2.5/5, higher if you’re a sucker for Neeson.
The Collector 1965
William Wyler directs Terence Stamp as a major weirdo who captures a young woman like another butterfly for his collection. it isn’t fair to criticize a movie like this for not being realistic, but didn’t women know to kick a guy in the crotch back then? Samantha Eggar doesn’t try very hard to escape imo; even her belated attempt is halfhearted. this is a dark and disturbing film but the tone, particularly the distracting score, is too all over the map for me. sorry Maurice, but I think simply dropping all the music could only help. overall I liked more than I didn’t but I eventually lost track of the missed opportunities. a poorly scored, unenthusiastic 3/5
The Company of Wolves 1984
visually beautiful but clumsy weave of narrated fairy tales and nightmares with the “real world” of the film itself. reminded me a bit of “Celia,” “Legend” and “Valerie and Her Week of Wonders.” with dolls in the forest, rats in the dollhouse, tons of critters with wings, tails, two, four, eight legs and none, there’s plenty to look at but not much more. don’t drink the milk! with a creepy Angela Lansbury. 2.5/5
The Congress 2013
odd blend of live action and animation plays like a plausible peek into the future of the visual effects/film industry and a dystopian scolding of today’s futurists. Robin Wright stars as a caricature of herself who is given one final contract from “Miramount” studios: to have herself digitized and never physically act again. iow, to become a plug-in in a decreasingly “human” world where nothing is real and everything is possible. as a sort of “Alice In Wonderland” meets “The Matrix” it’s interesting, even moving at times, but felt disjointed. based on a Lem novel. 3/5
The Corpse Grinders 1971
a cat’s gotta eat! cousin Ted is back (who let him in?) with everything you’d heard this was. and less! grubby, grungy and loaded with cheapo horror flavor, this is no rent gore-schlock at its most boredom inducing and reality warping. there are decent enough exterior shots to balance the drab, cramped look of the rest of the proceedings and the cat attacks are priceless. who knew the kitty food game was such dirty business? funny but not funny enough, although I did love the secretary’s after work routine. a ridiculous 1.5/5
Corridor of Mirrors 1948
curious but uneven dark fantasy about reincarnation and lost people trying to find themselves. a wealthy and slightly creepy outsider reveals an obsession to a bored socialite perhaps too eager to be obsessed over. the film is gorgeously lit with terrific shadow-strewn sets and atmosphere to spare. the performances and soundtrack are good but the story has too much on its mind for anything to really stick. one minute it’s a gothic romance, the next a haunted castle thriller, then a cautionary tale designed to be wrapped up too neatly for my tastes. more Lewton than Hitchcock but unfortunately not as good as either, it’s still intriguing and looks fantastic. some b&w movies are so stunning you’d not only hate to think of them colorized, you can’t even imagine the world they captured was ever in color in the first place. for the often riveting, sometimes breathtaking photography and the oddness of the whole thing I’d give it 3.5/5
The Corruption of Chris Miller 1973
two strange women take in a drifter and things get dangerous. and sexual, obviously. twisty cat and mouse fun that’s hard to pin down, just how I like ’em. 3/5
Cottage To Let 1941
British mystery comedy thriller that’s more chatty than any of those things at least has Alastair Sim and a fairly wild shootout finale. otherwise yawn. fav line: “I’m generally up at the crack.” 2.5/5
Criminally Insane aka Crazy Fat Ethel 1974
WOW. what a fun way to spend an hour. there’s just something about no budget, no talent horror quickies from the ’70s that makes my day. this is quite a film…funny and surreal. not a scare to be found. buckets of red paint. unfathomable scenes of violence toward mannequins. atrocious editing/acting/directing. and those are the good points!! watch it and relive those late Saturday nights in front of the TV, when your parents knew better not to stay up to watch this lurid schlock! for the hilarity 3.5/5 (don’t waste your or anyone else’s time on the sequel)
Criss Cross 1949
Burt Lancaster and Yvonne De Carlo star in this noir about an armored truck driver and the woman he and Dan Duryea love. too much narration mixed in with the tough talk but everything else is good enough. look for Alan Napier and Percy Helton as the bartender. 3/5
Cristiana monaca indemoniata aka Our Lady of Lust 1972
(mostly dubbed version) after an amazingly scored opener we’re “treated” to a surreal(ly awful) hippies on a plane with engine trouble scene. but this ain’t “Airport” and said hippie freak made a promise to god so she’s gettin to a nunnery in this nunsploitation drivel from Italy. fairly well filmed, it’s more over the top farce than grindhouse fare but still contains plenty of skin and sex although no sexiness. poor. 2/5
Crossfire 1947
Robert Young is a cop investigating a murder in this noir mystery with a powerhouse cast and great lighting. Robert Mitchum and Robert Ryan (that’s three) are excellent and the script has a lot to say about xenophobia and hatred. Gloria Grahame steals the show as bad girl Ginny. she’s sugary and venomous, a kewpie doll that’ll spit in your eye. the ugly racist character aside, the dialog is terrific: (Mitchum, comforting his confused friend) “the snakes are loose. anybody can get ’em. they’re friends of mine.” 3/5
Cruise Into Terror 1978
classic tv movie cheese with Ray Milland and Hugh O’Brian about an Egyptian sarcophagus at the bottom of the sea plays like an episode of “The Love Boat” meets “Kolchak” with some “Jaws” and a yowly ship’s cat thrown in. a slow start plus less than terrific effects and props mean this is definitely not must see tv but it scratched my itch. on the plus side there are some good twists, a few horny women and some quality underwater footage. with Lynda Day George (and real life husband Christopher George playing the most undeserving husband ever), Dirk Benedict, Roger E. Mosley and many more tv faces. a good enough 3/5
Crypt of Dark Secrets 1976
southern American tale of the damballa, here a female witch who does her sexy naked ritual in the swamp for us right off the bat. we’re soon taken on the funkiest motorboat ride ever replete with stellar dialog/performances before it turns into a Canadian Aussie enthusiasts’ theater group production about voodoo and murder on a haunted island. this narrated-backstory laden movie may just straddle the line between good enough and bad enough better than any other I’ve seen and more importantly it kept me smiling. despite a few flat, tv movie interiors things look mostly fine with some stellar outdoor photography, an effective score, great colorful swamps and of course the oft uncovered Maureen Ridley who’s fit as a fiddle here. a short, quirky 2.5/5
Cuatro desertores aka Mercenaries and Their Girls aka Girls For Mercenaries 1974
(dubbed, 4×3 version) cheap and boring yarn about men hired to deliver a satchel of cash. wanna bet they turn on each other? very little in the way of action or characterization but at least their girls are attractive, especially Claudia Gravy who made way more “interesting” movies in the ’70s than this stinker! some decent daytime outdoor photography but little else, including a ludicrous, seemingly tacked on ending. a great early dance club scene is the best part. 2/5
Cui ming fu aka Summons To Death 1967
fun but uneven story of two groups searching for treasure with only half a map each. it’s a little bit spy movie, a little kung fu and a lot corny with pretty bad fight scenes. otherwise it’s colorfully shot with a toe tapping score, cool gadgets and a swinging bachelor’s apartment. and having Tina Chin-Fei always helps. 2.5/5
Cul-de-sac 1966
Polanski directed and co-written oddity that seems like a patchwork of his quirks without any emotional center to hang them on. often strident and purposely distant, it’s beautifully photographed in b+w but also my least favorite of his movies so far. with Donald Pleasence and Lionel Stander. 2/5

D

Dablova Past/The Devil’s Trap 1962
Czech fantasy about a 17thC priest looking into the supernatural at an old mill. the power struggles between baron and serf as well as between organized religion and paganism play out with surrealistic touches. some terrific compositions and thought provoking debates alongside a haunting soundtrack make this very watchable. part of director Frantisek Vlacil’s loose historical trilogy (including “Marketa Lazarova” & “Udoli Vcel”). 3/5
Daikaijû Gamera aka Gamera: The Giant Monster 1965
(original language version off tubi) timely set during the cold war, a good old a-bomb explosion unleashes the titular behemoth who of course goes on a rampage. timely yes, but in this case a bit surprising in that international cooperation is a given here. perhaps this bit of pro-turtle propaganda had hopes for a better world, as some of the fishermen affected by Gamera’s presence lament that the Earth must be in trouble and that we’ve “done a number on it.” the vfx are a mixed bag- some what you’d expect and some quite good. for an upright turtle Gamera looks pretty badass, at least from a distance, and firebreathing (in and out!) is a nice touch. the power plant attack was neat and the many night scenes were well served by the b+w. though I watched in original language, there are both American and non American actors speaking English who I wish had been dubbed. plus, questions: who was narrating this? why does Gamera roast humans but spare children? it doesn’t matter. a fun 3/5
Daria 2020
paranoid mystery thriller about a woman who may or may not be mentally ill and the people who want to help her/are out to get her. exciting and inventive Czech film isn’t perfect but it’s also stylishly photographed and smartly written. 3/5
The Dark Mirror 1946
Olivia de Havilland plays twins, one of which may be a murderer, in a Robert Siodmak directed mystery. a determined cop and a smitten psychiatrist try to suss things out. mostly excellent photography and good performances but not much suspense. a weak 3/5
Dark Places 1974
a man scoffs when locals tell him the house he inherited is haunted but finds trouble comes in many forms. some creepiness and gore in this mystery thriller enhanced by a complex, time-jumping storyline. with Robert Hardy, Christopher Lee, Joan Collins and Herbert Lom. 3/5
Daughter Of Darkness 1948
Siobhan McKenna stars as a misunderstood young woman who men find irresistible and women find unsavory. extremely old fashioned and insulting bit of drivel about jealous, holier-than-thou women and strong arming, predatory males who are only acting on intuition and primal instincts, respectively. seems to me Emmy simply gets wronged and mistreated by everyone, including a priest and so-called “nice” people. even that rotten dog can “see her for what she is.” and what is she? for the most part, a victim who had the temerity to defend herself. or are we supposed to appreciate the irony of her being condemned by those “morally superior” who judge, try and execute based on their own shortcomings and pettiness? the print I watched was soft and faded but it’s the reductive script that’s the problem. 1.5/5
Day of the Animals 1977
nature gone wild cheesefest with typically unlikable characters (except lovely Lynda Day George). it’s an odd combination of big and low budget with unPC dialog and gorgeous natural locations. odd also how they chose to wrap the story in science with the whole ozone scare instead of just, say, blaming radiation or nature finally saying “enough.” pretty lousy but the attacks are mostly well done including a gruesome bird attack (ruined by a terrible fx shot), an amazing rat-in-the-kitchen problem, a terrifying dog’s paw, a beautiful rapids ride into the sunset and a hilarious shirtless Leslie Nielsen that had me crying for a good five minutes. for those moments a solid 3/5
Deadlier Than The Male 1966
two beautiful female assassins liven up this brash spy fluff with British agent Bulldog Drummond (Richard Johnson) tracking a master criminal. everything looks terrific, there’s swinging music, great use of locations and of course the lovely ladies to help keep it watchable. with Elke Sommer and Sylva Koscina. a paper thin 3/5
Deadline 1979
apparently filmed in 1979 but not released until 1984, this Canadian wacko-fest is quite a trip. unlikable characters abound in a cesspool of exploitation, miserable relationships and tragedy as a schlock horror writer folds under pressure from all sides. a bizarre mix of low budget film making, creative gore, laugh out loud craziness and some truly disturbing scenes make for an unforgettable hour and change. a weird 3/5
Deadlock 1970
international production of the struggles over a suitcase full of cash has no likable characters but did at least remind me of the far superior “No Country For Old Men” once or twice. otherwise thoroughly unenjoyable. 2/5
Deadly Hero 1975
good cop does the right thing the wrong way. well ok, not so good cop does the wrong thing for the right reasons. howabout: borderline wacko kills bonafide wacko and becomes a “celebrity” only to cross the line in this “Bad Lieutenant” precursor. too many long stretches and questionable motivations plus brash, chatty characters add up to meh. otoh there’s that crummy, low budget mid ’70s NYC charm, a hilariously ridiculous (and lengthy) full band stage “musical,” a great hit and run sequence and possibly the best (and most appropriate) cellist attack ever. with Don Murray, James Earl Jones and a young Treat Williams. 2/5
Death Dimension 1978
opening with some sexy, sexy footage of a woman getting a microchip implanted in her forehead, this junkpile from Uncle Al concerns a weather control device being used as a weapon by The Pig, old “Odd Job” himself, here looking like a former country club locker room champ. this misogynistic baddie has a whole army of knuckleheads and would be Big Jim’s PACK rejects to do his evil bidding. enter cop Jim Kelly, who’s pretty good in this third rate kung fu “Starsky & Hutch,” but the sorry editing makes the fight scenes look anything but realistic. or worse: some were borderline “Three Stooges.” on the plus side, it’s from 1978 so there’s plenty of big cars, malt liquor beer and funky tunes plus a hysterical boat chase shootout and an amazing slow-mo head-to-the-belly attack. obviously not good but not bad enough to be more than silly and tiresome. 2/5
Death Game 1977
a married man makes the mistake of his life when he lets two young women into his home to use the phone. no less irritating than the Roth remake (which at least featured better looking leads), this one’s crazy ladies are much more nuanced and menacing. but that’s about it: this version has all kinds of problems, including some of the most intrusive and gaudily obvious music I’ve ever been aggravated by, serious dialog recording issues, and a typical ’70s drive in overindulgence which may suit the proceedings but becomes forced. it’s not a total loss, as the ladies are quite creepy at times, and this version is certainly darker than the remake. a thing occurred to me here that didn’t when I saw the Keanu version- George should’ve killed them both early on when he had a chance. Sandra Locke and Colleen Camp star. 2.5/5
Death On The Nile 2022
typically modern sledgehammer-subtle remake offers little beyond all the bombast and ensemble accents. the film brings the past into sharp, colorful focus to its detriment: there’s no atmosphere to be found. everything looks so gorgeous you may not realize the whole thing is as sterile and superficial as a biopsy. unfortunately they do make ’em like this any more. a big cast includes Kenneth Branagh and Gal Gadot. 2.5/5
Death Weekend 1978
Brenda Vaccaro stars as a resourceful woman on a bad date that turns into a terrible one, hence the title. it succeeds in pushing your buttons and the villains are at least entertainingly reckless when they’re not being iq softening but other than a few points it’s all been done before. and better. creepiness is relative I guess. 2/5
De dodes tjern/Lake of the Dead 1958
talky but atmospheric thriller surrounding a remote cabin on a haunted lake and a group of old friends who try to unravel its mysteries. well photographed in b+w, the film makes good use of the remote location and the lake itself certainly looks foreboding even in broad daylight. several dreamlike sequences are effective in making the woods come alive but a lot of the action is in the form of diary readings and recounted legends. a few standout scenes and what looked like unusual camera lenses create some marvelous compositions but I found the abrupt ending unsatisfying. still, interesting and moody and will appeal to those who like their supernatural dramas open ended with large ensembles (there are those, right?) 3/5
Delinquent School Girls 1974
hilariously awful! unbelievably stupid! also crazy entertaining and stacked with a bevy of beauties! exploitative trash that’s too busy being preposterous to actually go where the sleazy script (and you) wants to go, it’s undeniably a laugh riot for fans of “wacko” sinema that plays better as a spoof of the era’s shock horror classics than as a straight up roughie. over the top doesn’t even begin to describe it. for the “can you believe this crap?” laughs an easy 4/5
Deliver Us From Evil 1973
George Kennedy leads a great cast in a tale of six men vs nature and themselves. the beautiful rugged scenery is integral to the well crafted story. not perfect but very good for a tv movie. apparently “a Playboy film,” could it have been a tv “Deliverance?” 3.5/5
Der apfel ist ab aka The Original Sin 1948
male chauvinist German comedy fantasy about two timing nihilist Adam who dreams he’s in heaven as the first human. God and Lucifer create Eve before their falling out and each try to influence their experiments. pessimistic overall (even heaven is militant with its rules, troops and angel flight sounding like aircraft) with some choice dialog (“Good is just the bad things you don’t do”), surreal sets filled with strange props and cleverly integrated actors make this a visual treat. I liked the garden and its animals, the Earthly desert and the press covered conference with a sci fi “Bride Of Frankenstein” moment of creation. 3/5
Der junge Torless/Young Torless 1966
young fascists in training terrorize a boys’ school in this study of conformity and brutality. seems Torless is a detached creep who thinks his unrecognized brilliance allows him to view people as if under a microscope and only until they cease to be interesting, making him in some ways worse than his thug chums. though characters have intense philosophical debates and the film is well acted and shot, it doesn’t add anything new to the discussion other than hearing horrible things from the mouths of babes instead of from jackbooted officers. warning: contains some (needlessly real) animal cruelty. with Barbara Steele in a small but powerful role. 2.5/5
Der Mönch mit der Peitsche aka The College Girl Murders 1967
directed by Alfred Vohrer, this “krimi” is an odd blend of murder mystery and humor with a few sprinkles of sleaze and a great villain. I found it a bit old fashioned but stylish as well, filled with attractive young ladies, a cool secret passage behind a fireplace and of course the red robed killer with a whip! 3/5
Der schweigende Stern/The Silent Star aka First Spaceship On Venus 1960
Polish/German production about the Tunguska meteor being a crashed alien ship that left behind a sort of “black box.” based on a novel by Stanislaw Lem, it’s got an international cast of characters including an American physicist named Hawling(!) although it looked to me that Japanese actress Yoko Tani’s lines were dubbed. the heavy reliance on dialog and narration no doubt the result of a fairly low budget, the visuals are handled well with a great but brief EVA, some neat models, interesting Banana Republic uniforms and gorgeous Earthly locations. the scenes on the Venusian surface are also well done and there’s a goofy popcorn meteor shower. I’d say it landed halfway between what I was hoping for and what I expected. 3/5
Der verlorene/The Lost One 1951
Peter Lorre directs and stars as a doctor who develops a taste for murder when his past and his present collide. some expressionistic touches help but the flashback format distracts. otherwise, this unevenly paced thriller tragedy is supposedly based on true events. 2.5/5
Desyat negrityat 1987
Russian “Ten Little Indians” has a lot going for it like a great location, effective flashbacks and plenty of atmosphere with its dated, tv movie look enhancing the sense of time and place. a bit slow, you can do worse but give me the 1945 “And Then There Were None” version any day. 3/5
Detour 1945
a hard luck musician turns hitchhiker and finds himself on the road to trouble. with Tom Neal as poor Roberts and Ann Savage the tough as nails Velma. low budget but gritty noir plays like an extended “Twilight Zone” and that’s good enough for me. 3/5
Det sjunde inseglet/The Seventh Seal 1957
Max Von Sydow stars in this Ingmar Bergman written and directed classic fantasy about a knight who challenges death to a game of chess in order to remain among the living. beautifully shot in b+w, the film has an amazing sense of realism, as if one were peering thru the centuries to witness actual events no matter how surreal. a masterpiece of historical allegory. 4/5
Deváté srdce/The Ninth Heart 1979
Czech fantasy from Juraj Herz (“The Cremator”) sees poor student Martin on his quest to rescue a princess from an ancient scientist harvesting human hearts to fuel his rejuvenation. more whimsical than spooky, it’s agreeably theatrical, at times playing like a fable and at others a film adaptation of an opera. many dark, beautiful sets with unusual color schemes, some excellent vfx involving fire and light, a trippy flashback segment, creepy ferry ride and banquet are highlights. 3/5
Devicanska svirka 1973
directed and co-written by Djordje Kadijevic (“Leptirica”), this b+w made for (at the time) Yugoslavian tv movie is quite strange. it starts off like a take on Dracula with the mc traveling into the unknown by horse drawn carriage. left to walk the rest of the way by ?superstitious? locals, the man soon encounters stranger things: a foreboding castle, eerie, omnipresent music, and a voluptuous Olivera Katarina whose behavior runs the gamut from bewitching to bizarre to..? I found it a long way to a fairly rushed ending but there are some genuinely spooky moments (just where exactly is “that music” coming from??) and the, ahem, natural assets of Miss Katarina are on full display. seems Yugoslavia beat the U.S. to “jiggle tv” by a few years at least. not a bad way to spend less than an hour but you might be left scratching your head- I know I was. still, it’s an old school gothic that’s got atmosphere and a few dark turns. a very weak 3/5
Devil Bat’s Daughter 1946
cheap but decent little hour and change mystery about the titular woman with bad eyesight and a foggy memory. a doctor tries to help a woman with a troubled past but has his own troubles to contend with. not one but two women love this Dr. Morris jerk? yikes. with dramatic room searches, some shadows and a poor dog. 2.5/5
The Devil Commands 1941
Boris Karloff is experimenting with human brains again, this time with what’s basically an EEG that he wants to someday decode. luckily he’s got an eager apprentice in the form of medium Anne Revere. a creepy corpses in the lab scene and moody photography, especially in the outdoors, make up for the sometimes flat, low rent look and needless narration. not one of director Edward Dmytryk’s best. 3/5
Devil Girl From Mars 1954
strange British low budget sci fi pseudo social commentary features a female martian who’s more didactic s&m/vinyl fetishist than invading conqueror. she’s got a neat robot “male” but she needs flesh and blood, ahem, specimens for her home planet. Patricia Laffan is stern and cold and thankfully sexy too because she’s by far the best part, a towering figure in black both bossy and condescending. featuring a decent if modestly sized flying saucer, a few shadowy scenes, a revolving curtain of suspense and a cool detonation. if you’re in the mood for a bit of harmless diversion it’ll do. a weak but shiny 3/5
Devil’s Express 1975
a subway-lurking demon follows a zen kung fu student from Hong Kong back to the streets of NYC in the midst of a gang war. too bad this movie isn’t as fun as that sounds. after a mysterious and “bloody” opener, we’re treated to some grade A thespianism but when life hands you lemons you make whatever this is. the horror sections are pretty dark which, besides saving money on gore fx, gives them an agreeable grubbiness. otherwise the foreign and domestic locations are utilized well, including tons of vintage NYC subway scenes. the film tries to juggle too many threads but there are worse things than ambition. speaking of threads star Warhawk Tanzania(!) sports some groovy duds. the fights (and makeup) range from semi-realistic to laughable. and those kung fu sound effects! ridiculous. despite a pretty awful lovesong the ’70s soundtrack is by far the best part (other than the bright eyed demon-host of course) bad/good enough but coulda been sooooo much better 2.5/5
The Devils 1971
(117min fan cut version using various sources) Ken Russell directs Oliver Reed and Glenda Jackson in this wildly perverse and pessimistic telling of the possessions at a convent in Loudon, France in 1634. the film paints its villains and indulges its whims in no uncertain terms, utilizing visually stunning setpieces as well as extremely polarizing, ahem, behavior by the Ursuline nuns. it’s a bit of a holy mess but it’s also sporadically brilliant. 2.5/5
Diabel/The Devil 1972
oddity by director Andrzej Zulawski infamous for offending just about everyone in its day. it was not a pleasant experience, but this is Zulawski not Disney. the film has a frenetic energy as the camera flows along the bizarre narrative in long takes letting the viewer soak up the scenery and all the sordid details. a fantastic opening quickly turns fantastical with the titular devil, some gruesome murders and a werewolf I think? I suppose it’s metaphoric of how Poland was ravaged and turned bestial, debased by baseness, but watching our “hero” sink deeper and deeper into violent madness wasn’t the smiling joyride I had hoped. the devil here is a black clad bad influence, whispering for ever more chaos as he leads us from insanity to inhumanity. it was too offputting for me but look into it if you’ve got a hankerin for some abstract ’70s eastern European borderline exploitation in historical drama clothing. 3/5
Diary Of A Mad Housewife 1970
Carrie Snodgrass stars in this chronicle of a fed up housewife’s first affair with a callous writer. Richard Benjamin is a raging a-hole who treats his wife like his secretary/nanny/maid but he may as well have a black mask and a mustache to twirl. filled with unhappy people being shrill and critical, it’s only minimally less than excruciating in spots. with a young Frank Langella and a too brief live appearance by Alice Cooper! 2/5
Die buchse der Pandora/Pandora’s Box 1929
(123 min version) opportunistic enchantress bewitches every man she meets including an engaged man who demands she kill herself before she drives him to do it. when she is instead tried for his murder, she escapes the courtroom only to fall in with a worse crowd. seems everyone uses someone for his or her own benefit in this tragedy drama. played by Louise Brooks, Lulu is sort of a good time girl/femme fatale and while it’s well written, the film contains too many stretches of dialog without title cards and perhaps one or two acts too many. it plays a bit like a gangster noir but wasn’t expressionistic enough for me though some segments were gorgeously filmed, with one scene featuring Brooks in a shiny black dress that looked like it could’ve been shot yesterday. most of the segments on and around the boat “hotel” were well done; the moonlit dock was especially beautiful. this version had a pervasive score that was often lacking imo and the whole thing doesn’t wrap up so much as end. 2.5/5
Dívka na kosteti/Girl On a Broomstick 1972
fun family fare about a pretty young witch who travels to the realm of humans, falling in love and causing mischief. colorful Czech fantasy stars Petra Cernocka. 3/5
Doctor Strange In The Multiverse of Madness 2022
Sam Raimi’s touch is all over and perfect for this sequel. taking place after the events of “SM-NWH” but not otherwise connected to that film, it’s more a continuation of “Endgame” that sees our hero thru all the dark corners of the multiverse. not perfect (a few eyerolls and shrugs) but it’s a fun blend of humor and horror with loads of action. gorgeous to behold with more than a little gore and a few call backs and surprises. a solid 3.5/5
The Doll Squad 1973
more highly entertaining craptrap from Ted V. Mikels about a group of beautiful kickass women who punch, shoot and blow up bad guys. if you judge a film strictly by how enjoyable it is to watch than this is a bona fide classic! if not, then it’s still a blast. goofy and lotsa fun. 3/5
Don’t Answer the Phone! 1980
psycho stalks and kills women whilst playing games with a radio call-in therapist. from the opening seconds I knew I was in the right place: vintage analog synths, video game bleeps, flat photography, washed out colors and saturated titles. I don’t know if a good print of this half-baked misogynistic movie exists, or even if the word “good” belongs anywhere near this, but if so you can keep it. this one has cardboard characters including a hilarious villain (’70s tv regular Nicholas Worth) who snorts, grunts and giggles like a Hanna Barbera cartoon. he works out savagely in near darkness, does convincing voice impressions, carries on in mirrors and in shirtless monologue, has moments of “clarity” where he weeps pitifully, and poses as a photographer looking for new models. which, in this script, actually happens. there’s a sleazy cruel streak that runs thru this that works in its favor but only on the lowest level- no one involved knew what to do with it. the “humor” is atrocious and the leads are pretty awful but there’s also a really poor supporting cast. alas, Hammer/Castle productions in this case is not Hammer films nor William Castle. could’ve been complex and vile but settled for simply bad. the best part is the soundtrack. 1.5/5
Don’t Go In The House 1980
oh what a missed opportunity. this to me is a movie that made a great trailer, got financed, and then practically became a comedy. a post-mama’s boy is compelled to burn away the world’s sinners, inexplicably in the forms of attractive young women, in the house the title tells you not to enter. but enter they do, despite our main “character” being the lamest serial gamehunter in smelluloid history. as inept as he is as an abductor that ineptness is matched by the stupidity of the women he manages to “pick up.” no two girls could be drunk enough to think getting in his ?wagon? would be a good idea, much less go home with him. but those kind of script defects shouldn’t matter in a sleazy movie like this, a grotesquely misogynistic movie that almost succeeds in spite of itself. the few and far between good parts are satisfyingly perverse enough to keep you watching but it’s soon an endurance test, as in how much silly “crazy person” banter and pacing around an old house can you stand. although the pain of those sequences is balanced by the hilarious teenage-rock’n’roll rebellion our boy puts on once his freedom awakens. our sicko is so hit you over the head “crazy” that he buys a flamethrower and firesuit from a hardware store on the way home one day(???) no wait, he’s “crazy” because he somehow outfitted an old room in the house with metal fire proof walls so he can torch his victims unobserved. I wonder what kind of ventilation and fire suppression/smoke detectors he uses. maybe he got everything from the same hardware store. definitely not pretty but, like a two base error, it still drove in a few runs and made for a few good highlight reels. if you crave that inimitable late ’70s early ’80s lurid horror (and who doesn’t?) this will quench your thirst. just make sure you can tolerate boredom and silliness with your sleaze. 1.5/5
Don’t Go In The Woods 1981
or you might step in this movie. let’s see… cool vintage synths? colorful but flat photography? bad acting/writing? cheap gore? check. various folk don’t listen to the title and find themselves getting offed one by one hillbilly style in this (at best) mid ’80s late nite rental. it’s too bad to be any good but not bad enough to be any real fun so it’s just a dumb camping trip with mostly lousy “music” and some beautiful natural locations. the villain is entertaining tho and the movie does get progressively more bloody (and goofy) as it goes. the humor is godawful but there’s at least a hint of a cruel streak running thru it all if not the gumption to stray too far from the teen slasher formula. with an unbelievable police station and a preposterous blanket fort old west shootout sword attack. 1.5/5
Don’t Go To Sleep 1982
very creepy and kinda cruel made for tv movie with Valerie Harper, Dennis Weaver and Ruth Gordon. a young girl starts to see her dead sister while her family questions her sanity. victims are piling up as the film heads toward a serious downer ending. talk about bleak! surely a dark and odd choice for television. 3.5/5
Don’t Look In the Basement 1973
S.F. Brownrigg’s “classic” is a grubby, grimy little masterwork of horror. of course I love this freaky shriekshow, I have awful memories of (falling asleep to) it when it aired on latenite network tv back in the ’70s. it’s lower than low budget schlock that works because it’s exactly that, and in the hands of Brownrigg it doesn’t get any more that. oh and it’s weirder than weird. for me a solid 3/5 but yada etc
Don’t Worry Darling 2022
mostly effective blend of sci fi and commentary with arthouse leanings doesn’t satisfy so much as engage. nothing worth having comes free is the gist of this, a sort of “The Stepford Wives” for the me too movement. while it looks absolutely terrific, it should give writing credit to the seemingly endless stream of mood setting oldies that comprise the many mtv style montages. despite all the obvious mechanics, it’s a neatly constructed thriller that borrows heavily from other films but is so much fun to surrender to that you won’t care. Florence Pugh leads a good cast; Olivia Wilde directs and costars. 3/5
Dos monjes/Two Monks 1934
strikingly shot spookshow by Juan Bustillo Oro tells two versions of the same event with expressionistic flourishes and atmosphere to spare. it’s also a bit of a moldy oldie which makes the more experimental aspects that much more welcome. or the slower sections that much slower. either way it’s got effective dream sequences and a cool shadowy monastery. a slightly bloody morality play that’s ahead of its time. 3/5
The Double Man 1967
Yul Brynner stars in this British mystery thriller that does everything right except be engaging. a talky script is hampered by too much rear-projection and some suspect outdoor photography. otherwise, great sets and locations, a good cast including Britt Ekland, Lloyd Nolan and Clive Revill and a decent score help. 2.5/5
Double Wedding 1937
Powell and Loy star in this loveplay about a snooty woman who controls her sister’s love life until a bohemian bon vivant ruins everything for the better. some of the dialog is quite un-pc and the screwball antics are a bit much at times but everything is neat and tidy otherwise. well directed with a great cast of colorful characters delivering tons of laughs. 3.5/5
Dracula vs. Frankenstein 1971
oh boy. frustratingly boring and wretchedly entertaining claptrap with a penchant for monologues from old Al soon finds us in a remarkably drawn out musical number which then leads to the world’s weirdest… well, everything. carnival chills, neckers on the beach, trippy “dance club” creeps, axe murders and so on and so on but somehow all its charms are still not enough to make you want to care. otoh, it’s exactly what I thought it would be: bad. but also amazingly generous! somehow featuring J Carrol Naish as Col. Sanders and Lon Chaney Jr as mostly mute Lenny and Pete Townsend as Dracula with a cb radio voice from beyond the grave (and a lightning ring.) doughface I mean Frankenstein is resurrected in a terrifically bad sequence with bottom-notch soundfx and there’s a wolfman I think but the print was so dark the movie looked b+w half the time. so much to love/hate but my fave character and fave line both come courtesy of awesome cop Jim Davis: “you’ve got a fireplace. burn some wood in it.” easy 3/5 for those willing, others 1/5
Dr. Jekyl and Sister Hyde 1971
talk about body horror! Hammer production of Jack the Ripper London concerns a scientist who enlists grave robbers and discovers “female hormones” are the key to long life. and so… yeah. whether this doctor is in denial or not there’s no doubt this movie is lurid and silly with moments that reminded me of “All Of Me.” lots of red paint and orientation issues. 2/5
Draugasaga/Ghost Story 1985
a red headed ghost may be haunting a tv studio in this strange Icelandic made for tv movie that’s creepily effective both because of and despite its small screen constraints. seems it could’ve been a lot spookier if it had wanted to, but a dreamlike flow and some cleverly staged visuals make up for the unrealized potential. 3/5
Dværgen/The Sinful Dwarf 1973
truly sleazy and disgusting bit of Danish filth about a little person who, along with his charming mother, run a flophouse/sex ring of drug addicted captives. and it’s as gross as that sounds. mom and her gal pal live in some kind of timeless bordello nightmare niteclub alternate world when they’re not selling drugs out of teddy bears. you’ll laugh all the way to the shower. only in the ’70s! 3/5 because c’mon, but ymmv
Dwaj Panowie “N”/Two Gentlemen “N” 1962
agreeable if less than thrilling Polish mystery about a clerk with an odd hobby who accidentally uncovers a spy. well written with good performances and effective b+w photography. seems they went for a lighthearted tone instead of tense. 3/5

E

Eaten Alive 1976
after getting fired from a brothel, a young woman becomes the title in another Hooper directed drive-in yuckfest about even more backwoods weirdos. earns points for child endangerment but this grubby, grimy, full tilt unpleasantness too often feels manufactured due to intrusive ambient music and hyperactive camerawork. fairly lame horror flick with some entertaining croc attacks isn’t bad enough to be schlock but too cheap and dumb to be any good. 2/5
Echizen take-ningyô/Bamboo Doll of Echizan 1963
tragic story of a repressed young man who marries his late father’s former geisha. he’s in over his head and she feels neglected since he sees her more as a mother than a lover and before long their fragile relationship is fraying. well photographed, especially the nighttime and outdoor scenes. a little soapy but well made and affecting. 3/5
Edogawa Ranpo ryôki-kan: Yaneura no sanposha aka Watcher In the Attic 1976
more than a little pervy portrait of a jaded prostitute and her creepy landlord who, yup, watches his tenants from the attic. a catalog of fetishes tie each scene together but eroticism is nowhere to be found for either the titular watcher or the viewer. set for some reason in Tokyo before the 1923 earthquake and featuring some disturbing imagery and irritating audio cues, I’m not sure who this movie was intended for. it’s alternately borderline porn and arthouse trippiness; well photographed but mostly uninvolving. things pick up considerably in the homicide department and the watcher finally embraces his true inner self- the world’s worst landlord- but none of it feels like it’s going anywhere. seems like the only ones enjoying themselves are the victims. 2/5
The Effect of Gamma Rays On Man in the Moon Marigolds 1972
Joanne Woodward plays a real charmer raising two girls in director Paul Newman’s drama comedy. mom infects the children with her bitterness and that’s to be expected I guess but it’s unpleasant to watch. strident and cruel character study is well made and affecting with good performances. a mostly unenjoyable 3/5
Effects 1979
after a proudly sleazy opening shower scene, we’re treated to a movie within a movie about the making of a movie. I think. despite no chills but plenty of ketchup, you’ll devour the Milligan-esque touches with a creepy film crew, one of the least appealing “parties” (and its music) I’ve ever witnessed, and the amazing director named Lacey Bickle and his awesome on-set sanctuary. pretty stinky but not unentertaining. featuring Tom Savini and an interesting soundtrack including what seemed to me like vintage Simmons drum fx. 2/5
Eglima sto Kavouri aka He Murdered His Wife aka The Rape Killer 1974
(dubbed version) violent Greek exploitation fare that plays like a typical giallo sees a married man hire a psycho to kill his wife so he can be with his mistress. typical, that is, if you trade stylish for extra lurid and sleazy. some good twists make up for the slow pace but in the dubbed 4×3 print I watched a few key exchanges were left undubbed! with amusing gunplay, a great interrogation scene, pretty good score and cool nighttime fiery car wreck. 2.5/5
El Bosque de Lobo aka The Ancines Woods 1970
a wild intro sees things slow down considerably in this brooding tale of a traveling peddler and the superstitious locals he encounters. but all is not as it seems in a true story that also inspired the folk song that bookends the film. great locations and good camera work let the film’s world come alive in all its paranoia. low key and strange but a bit too slow and not enough meat on the bone despite the violence. featuring an old priest with a voice that has to be heard to be believed- well suited to cartoon work. 2.5/5
El caminante/The Traveler 1979
Paul Naschy plays the devil made well-groomed flesh surveying man (and woman)kind and spreading pain and suffering when he’s not being gentle. talky, ultimately unpleasant bit of exploitation in a sleazy historical fantasy rubber suit at least has atmosphere and well utilized locations. no attempts at being spooky here as it’s all vanity Naschy and let’s-be-offensive crudity with plenty of nudity. goofy overall and just barely competent enough to work. 2.5/5
El castillo de la pureza/The Castle of Purity 1973
(4:3) strange Mexican film of the tragic true story of a wacko father who ran his family like a prison warden including fitness drills and solitary confinement. oh yeah and no escapees either. convinced the outside world is corrupt, he shuts his family away to become his free rat poison manufacturing labor force. fairly well photographed in a claustrophobic setting with naturalistic lighting and lyrical compositions. a good cast carries you thru the unpleasantness. 3/5
El Escapulario 1968
low key, spooky story of a dying woman who gives a religious artifact to a priest while relating its significance in a series of episodic tales. unusual camera work and perspectives add to the dreamy feel but some stretches were a bit on the slow side. otherwise, quite good with effective mood lighting, a few terrific, mysterious sequences and an ominous soundtrack. 3/5
El espiritu de la colmena/Spirit of the Beehive 1973
magical fantasy from Victor Erice about two young sisters who live in and out of make believe during 1940’s Spain. after a traveling film company brings “Frankenstein” to their local theater, the girls, especially little Ana, become obsessed with the monster. with sparse dialog Erice paints a beautiful and dreamlike world of childish imagination and grownup dangers. a fabulous film. 4.5/5
El Fantasma del Convento/Phantom of the Convent 1934
excellent tale of three lost travelers who find shelter in the Monastery of Silence with mysterious ordained monks. directed with style and a brisk pace by Fernando de Fuentes, it’s an early example of Mexican horror. some uneven lighting and shaky camerawork may be due to more ambition than budget but this restored version looked remarkably good considering its age. 3/5
El gran amor del conde Drácula/Count Dracula’s Great Love 1973
(dubbed version) Naschy returns with scary monsters with weird eyes and pretty women in nightgowns (and less). after an axe to the head, a looooooooooong time falling down the stairs and a very bumpy wagon ride we arrive at Dr. Naschy’s castle where Dracula looks to revive his daughter by sacrificing a virgin. ha! good luck finding one in this odd (Hammer-esque?) mix of old school gothic with more modern gore. I’ve seen a few vampire movies in my day but I never saw old Drac get a stake thru the heart like he does in this one! it’s all silly and tame despite the boobs but everything looks great with foggy forests, an overgrown estate, a shadowy castle and good if not vibrant color. bonus: dubbed version had hilarious slurping noises during the “sexy” girl-girl biting scene. bummer: dubbed version also had a terrible, reverb-soaked telepathic Dracula voice. 2.5/5
Elizabeth Harvest 2018
a scientist and his assistant work to create the perfect clone of his late wife in this implausible thriller. would’ve been better as straight sci fi (or even comedy) without the romance and horror touches. nice photography and good sets are not served well by a clumsy structure and ineffective soundtrack. 2.5/5
El monte de las brujas/The Witches Mountain 1973
weird giallo-ish wannabe horror about a photographer who travels with a writer thru the mountains. slow moving and perplexingly scored, it almost succeeds anyway due to plenty of atmosphere and being mostly well shot with gorgeous natural scenery. takes forever to get anywhere remotely spooky and when the score isn’t horribly out of place it’s failing to create any tension. not good but if you need to see it, avoid the awful print on tubi. 2/5
El Nino de la Luna/Moonchild 1989
despite the unpleasantness of his “Tras el Cristal,” I was so blown away by the striking visuals director Agusti Villaronga created that I looked into some of his other films. this sci fi fantasy also features children but in a much more palatable context. a dreamy story of a boy with possible telekinetic powers who is taken in by a cult trying to breed a superbeing, it’s not as tautly directed as “Tras” but infinitely less revolting. it’s also strange, even nightmarish at times, and contains one of the (intentionally) least erotic sex scenes ever. 2.5/5
El pantano de los cuervos/Swamp of the Ravens 1974
(original language pan and scan) a severely unethical (and majorly creepy) scientist researches the boundary between life and death using fresh corpses and a stopwatch. sleazy and gross with next to no suspense but the locations are good and the “swamp” itself is spooky (it’s more like a bog). too bad they didn’t just stick to the horror side of the story and dump the rest. there are some beyond superfluous musical numbers and distracting background music almost throughout but there’s also the gorgeous Marcelle Bichette from the wacktacular “Miss Leslie’s Dolls.” would’ve been perfect fodder for “Chiller” theater. 2.5/5
El techo de cristal/Glass Ceiling 1971
soapy and sleazy attempt at mystery with a bored married woman possibly imagining murder. some well photographed interiors and a few inspired moments can’t help this often slapdash wannabe giallo with an intermittently effective score. a good movie to fall asleep to because your vague memories of it will be better than it actually is. featuring a very green eyed milk girl, a poor cat and a crazy dream sequence. 2/5
Emmanuelle bianca e nera aka Passion Plantation 1977
another Italian “Mandingo” ripoff, this one much better than its brother “Mandinga,” which ain’t saying much. it’s the same director and some of the same cast. it’s also more cruel than sleazy but it too gets tiresome and only makes the original seem that much better. fairly lame sexploitation with idealistic leanings. 1.5/5
The Enchanted Cottage 1945
Dorothy McGuire, Robert Young and Herbert Marshall star in this romantic fantasy about the search for love and meaning when a disfigured vet meets a lonely woman. even though I found the fantasy element under-utilized (if not unnecessary), the film was charming and effective with good performances and nuanced characters. and what a beautiful cottage it is. 4/5
Enigma rosso aka Trafico des menores/Red Rings of Fear 1978
(dubbed) Fabio Testi “investigates” murders at a girls’ school in this dull but semi stylish giallo with some entertaining twists and nice nighttime exteriors. “investigates” as in bullies and threatens, even barging into students’ and faculty members’ bedrooms demanding someone tell him who the killer is. has its moments but that it mostly stops short of the glorified violence typical of the genre is symptomatic of the pedestrian direction. loads of gratuitous nudity of the icky kind (though at least they appeared to be of age) as well as needlessly graphic segments in a slaughterhouse. look for the lovely Helga Line. a could’ve been better 2.5/5
Ensayo de la crimen aka The Criminal Life of Archibaldo de la Cruz 1955
a spoiled brat grows into a creepy manchild obsessed with a music box… and other things in this dark Mexican fantasy thriller from Luis Buñuel. it goes to some freaky fetishy places and has plenty of horror elements but a lighter, more absurdist tone keeps it all enjoyably strange. 3/5
Ercole al centro della Terre aka Hercules In the Haunted World 1961
(dubbed version) Bava co-writes and directs this lush, colorful telling of the legendary hero this time seeking a stone from Hades. spooky sets and lighting, creative optical fx and extensive natural locations all come together under the master’s touch. a bit stagey and a few goofy moments so not his best but still a worthy addition. with Reg Park and Christopher Lee. 3/5
Evil Dead Rise 2023
a group of mostly irritating young people find a naughty book (and vinyl record) that unleashes yet another installment in the franchise, this time devoid the humor of the first few as it opts for glitzy and gory instead. after a promising start things get all kinds of no-dimensional and while the film is not without a few effective moments too many are derivative or oversold with “gotcha” musical cues. I like films that scare me, not ones that tell me I should be scared. poor. 2/5
Ewa chce spac/Eva Wants To Sleep 1958
Polish comedy from director Tadeusz Chmielewski features the adorable Barbara Kwiatkowska and her adventure thru a crime filled night in the big city as she looks for a place to sleep. absurd and agreeably theatrical with some wonderful b+w nighttime photography. the police are mostly seen as likable bunglers who assist her as she encounters many colorful characters in this charming farce. 3.5/5
The Eye Creatures 1967
Mr. Buchanan is back with more awesome crap, this time a tv movie(?) about an alien invasion. opening with a thrilling “threading film into the projector” sequence, creepy guards, peach colored walls, a troublesome door and some guy with cranial surgery scars, we’re soon bequeathed a too brief UFO filmreel. with a preposterous excuse for a script, unfathomable musical cues, beyond cheap sets, “shouldn’t have put ’em in the dryer” Michelin Man aliens and grotesque performances, it’s a complete mess. it’s also basically “Invasion of the Saucer Men” only not as “good.” plenty of laughs but at what price? life is too fleeting. 1.5/5
Eye Of The Cat 1969
Michael Sarrazin and a plethora of tabbies star in this Joseph Stefano scripted story of a ladies man with a fear of cats who plots to get his dying aunt’s money. there are twists, a very Hitchcockian wheelchair scene, a shocking (but deserved) cat death and even a “catfight” (how clever) at a swinging party. a striking start, quick pace, excellent cinematography and wonderful ’60s colors make this a fun flick. bummer: some of these cats must’ve either been starving and/or feral. I’m assuming no animals were hurt etc etc. with a smashing Gayle Hunnicutt. 3/5
Eyes In The Night 1942
Edward Arnold is great as a blind sleuth who helps an old friend when her ex is killed. a bit on the cheap with some unfortunate stereotypes like hysterical women (and worse) but it’s clever enough to overcome them. featuring a great dog and Donna Reed as a real charmer. 3/5
Eyes Of A Stranger 1980
fairly brutal sleaze with “Love Boat”s Lauren Tewes as a tv news anchor and young Jennifer Jason Leigh as her traumatized sister who tangle with an obscene phone caller/murderer. Tewes is so concerned about her fellow Floridians’ welfare that she’s going off script live on the air and becoming increasingly reckless (read- stupid) tracking the wacko. speaking of, somehow our sickie has a sort of master key phonebook where he can even get the number of the service phone in the elevator his next victim is riding in. now that’s a resourceful perv! while well made with tense moments and certainly a cut above the rest, as with most phone based thrillers, just leave it off the hook already. 2.5/5
Eyes of Fire 1983
opening in 1750, this eerie folk horror has a terrific diy authenticity and unsettling score that work to bring the proceedings to life. the fx are a mixed bag but mostly effective, especially the devilwitch and its shifting appearance. I’m no fan of narration but striking visuals, good use of locations and a creative story make up for it. 3/5

F

The Face Behind The Mask 1941
plucky immigrant Peter Lorre arrives in NYC and befriends a policeman, finds a job and an apartment and is promptly disfigured. he then makes some new friends and realizes his own personal American dream. amongst the darkness there’s some humor and the characters are well drawn and relatable. a tad contrived but very good. 3.5/5
The Face of Fear 1971
less than thrilling tv movie about a woman who puts a hit out on herself and the cop who tries to protect her. way too slow and a shouty Ricardo Montalban delivers some pretty poor dialog as the stressed out policeman trying to find Elizabeth Ashley’s hired killer. lots of admonishments and walking around but a unique wrap-up almost saves it. with Jack Warden as a world weary lieutenant. 2.5/5
Fahrmann Maria 1936
Franz Wysbar (“Strangler of the Swamp,” “Devil Bat’s Daughter”) directed late expressionistic folk tale of a young woman who takes a job as ferryman and then takes on death to save her injured love. most of the first half is slow but Wysbar knows his way around swamps so Maria’s trek is well filmed and the death of her predecessor (and antagonist) was eerie. the print I saw suffered from inconsistent lighting but the outdoor scenes looked fine and the sound design was quite interesting. not essential but a restored print might make it even more enjoyable to watch. a mostly good 3/5
The Farmer 1977
after a not wonderful opening bar car brawl, accompanied by live banjo no less, things stay ultra low budget in this tale of violent revenge. Gary Conway stars as a WWII vet who returns home to find new struggles in this fairly amateur hour project that relies too much on overbearing music and manufactured performances to fill out a weak script. the print I watched was beautifully washed out which added to the late nite tv mood but a stinker’s a stinker. some great one liner farmer putdowns and a few wildly lurid killings but otherwise a waste of seeds, sunshine and water. even with a hilariously strange, unearned sex scene and a psychotronic barnyard fire/rape/murder sequence, they should’ve let this one die on the vine. 2/5
Feherlofia/Son Of The White Mare 1981
uber trippy, vibrant animation and excellent sound tell this Hungarian story of three brothers (Stonecrumbler, Treeshaker and Ironrubber) who venture into the underworld to reclaim their legacy. director Marcell Jankovics uses varied techniques like a curious hand drawn style that sometimes resembles 80’s era cgi and psychedelic blacklight posters. it’s an interesting film with some humor but the visuals are the star. 3/5
The Female Bunch 1971
“What the hell are we doin’ here?” “Takin’ a leak.” yup. more Adamson nonsense, this time south of the border with the story of Sandy and a gang of racist female bikers horsers with odd initiation rites. Lon Chaney Jr unfortunately appears in this along with Russ Tamblyn who winds up chasing his tail. there are sex scenes you’ll wish were never filmed let alone ever want to see, lots of horseplay with upbeat acoustic guitar, sloppy drug misuse, and a beyond scuzzy and ridiculous “Mexican bar” scene (with terrific audio) that looks like somebody’s basement man-cave. despite some admittedly classic one liners and the aforementioned “bar,” Nesa Renet is the best part of this slop. 1.5/5
Femina ridens/The Laughing Woman 1969
I know I was laughing during (most of) this twisty, proto “9 1/2 Weeks of Gray” giallo-like creepfest about an out of shape “Peeping Tom” wacko and the cat-fancying woman he captures. the lovely, oft fainting Dagmar Lassander is put thru the ringer and it ain’t pretty and definitely not something I would watch again. while the yuck factor is pretty high, it mostly looks fine and there are lots of interesting sets and varied locations. with great nighttime car scenes, a ridiculous railroad crossing, cool convertible, twisted “make-out” session, “Moju” type sculpture and some silly music. 2/5
The Fiend aka Beware My Brethren 1972
mostly lousy twisted shocker gets off to a rocky start with a musical number featuring dancing littluns but shows its true colors soon enough: sleaze. we’ve got more than one wackjob this time though. first up is our mama’s boy sicko who has the advantage of running into enough gullible women to keep the icky story moving. plus he’s got a strict religious upbringing and freakshow number two Patrick MaGee as Reverand WTF? to keep him on the straight and crazy. ragingly anti-Catholicism, it’s also ahead of its time in terms of violence. with a different score and some hefty cuts, this could be a truly nasty perv’s paradise horror flick. instead it too often borders on tv show parody: whiffs of “Mission:Impossible” and “The Partridge Family” and I swear I saw Graham Chapman during the indoor pool scene. with a lovely score (featuring Wolfman Jack and Paul Williams?) that ranges from overbearing to grossly inappropriate, this ugly little turd will satisfy your video nasty craving. 2/5
Fieras sin jaula aka Two Males For Alexa 1971
(Spanish edit but otherwise vg widescreen print) opening like demented channel surfing, the slow going setup unfolds into a locked room mystery where an adulterous couple have to literally live with the consequences of their actions. a fantastic castle and grounds, groovy music and lovely ladies Rosalba Neri and Emma Cohen make it watchable but little more as the structure generates no suspense. that is, until the final sequence but even that seemed mis directed: the two staggering toward the bathroom screamed horror but instead what we’re left with is a fizzle out. a could’ve been sooo much better 2.5/5
The Fifth Floor 1978
a young woman is given what looked like joker juice and wrongly committed to a poorly supervised mental hospital in this cheap excuse for a thriller. it’s a drag, it’s a downer and not a millisecond of suspense is contained therein- it’s mostly sleazy ugliness with a disco heartbeat. with Dianne Hull, Bo Hopkins, Earl Boen and a young Robert Englund. 2/5
Fight For Your Life 1977
low rent trash that falls somewhere between truly ugly and trying to be ugly sees a trio of escaped cons terrorize a family as they hide out in their house. full of 1970s “charm” and cardboard characters designed to repulse, all fuzzily filmed and terribly scored with practically no tension to be found. somewhere in there though are bigger comments on race, status and commonalities between the scum and the victims. contains a few well composed exterior shots, a ridiculous fireside tryst (with theme) and an all-star dog. 1.5/5
The Flash 2023
very long awaited solo vehicle is good not great but enjoyable enough to not matter too much. the time traveling story means a long movie with all kinds of shoutouts, callbacks and surprises. plenty of laughs as well as video game looking sequences which seems to be the DC recipe. it also tries to please everybody and you know how that usually winds up. a weak 3/5
Flashman 1967
(dubbed) Italian/French superhero crimefighting business with an international cast about female counterfeiters, invisible bankrobbers and Flashman, who’s supposed to be British but whose costume looks more Japanese. colorful, groovy and silly, it’s not good but it’s competently made and much more fun than “Goldface, il fantastico superman,” another Italian superhero job from the same year. some plusses: the Maharajah’s ring and his guards’ (dubbed) voices, the fairly clever assassination thereof, a great climactic beach fight, plus lots of pretty women, helicopters and secret passages. 2.5/5
Flashpoint 1984
Kris Kristofferson and Treat Williams star as two border patrol agents who stumble onto a deadly conspiracy. half baked desert noir was an HBO production and it definitely feels like it despite a good cast. maybe a bigger budget remake is in the cards? a decent 3/5
Footsteps In the Fog 1955
British mystery about two weirdos, one a wealthy widower and the other his maid, who lie, scheme and much worse is a fairly dark yarn that could’ve been adapted from a stage play. unlikable characters counter fine photography and color on well lit sets, nice foggy evenings and a good cat. 3/5
Foreign Correspondent 1940
Hitchcock’s tale of an unbiased reporter hired to cover pre war Europe who uncovers an assassination plot is a bit talky but paranoid enough to work. though inconsistently shot, most of it is well done and loaded with great setpieces- the ship’s deck, the mill, the hi-rise ledge and of course the plane crash. with Joel McRae, Laraine Day and George Sanders. 3/5
Frailty 2001
Bill Paxton directs and stars in this thriller about an insane father and his effect on his two boys. a disturbing story no doubt but strains credibility past the breaking point. Matthew McConaughey exudes the range of a wet sponge. 2.5/5
Frankenstein ’80 1972
(super crummy, dark, dubbed, pan and scan print off plex) well, all good things must come to an end: I had watched five or six good movies in a row. Dr. Frankenstein’s monster Mosaic, dressed like a raincoated perv, escapes from the lab and kills women in this Italian rot. gory, lurid schlock manages to be violent grindhouse sleaze and lame and boring too which is not a good combination btw. if you want to watch this coulda been truly disturbing yuckfest you’ll need a big swig of that blue juice ’cause first rate this ain’t. I think I spotted David Berkowitz in one shot. may this Schwarz not be with you. 1.5/5 (the very generous .5 for the potential)
Freebie and the Bean 1974
funny but strained San Francisco buddy cop hijinx with Alan Arkin and James Caan about misfit partners trying to bring down a mob boss. excellent photography and great locations capture the time and place well, helping to overcome some dated unPC dialog and an often cartoonish tone. the marching band carnage was a highlight. with Loretta Swit and a Spanish speaking Valerie Harper. a more good than bad 3/5
Fright 1971
terrifically photographed with great atmosphere, this British tale of babysitter Susan George being terrorized gets fairly ugly and sleazy the weirder it gets. overall mostly lurid, melodramatic doings in darkened interiors and gorgeously lit nighttime exteriors but nothing essential or unique. a weak 3/5
Frightmare 1974
starting off in the old, b+w 1950s, we’re soon colorized to young Johnny and Debbie. they’re part of a gang that’ll kick you when you’re down, especially if you insult their girlfriends, but they’ll also turn tail and run at the sight of one nosy old man. then we meet Jackie and her weirdo family. wow. frustratingly decent schlock-shockfare is mostly bad but just barely fun enough to stay afloat. otherwise it’s strictly cheapsville- ridiculous attacks, endless arguing, bickering and prattling, all delivered with leers in vintage low budget British accents (when I get a headache I’m saying “me-graine” instead of “my-graine” from now on). even the lovely ladies Deborah Fairfax and Fiona Curzon can’t salvage this. 2.5/5
Furia a Bahia pour OSS 117/OSS 117 Mission For A Killer 1965
third installment in the French/Italian Bond ripoff series has great locations and sped up fight scenes but still isn’t exciting. seems there’s some baddies who want to turn people into drugged out slaves. the best you can say is it’s not bad. with Frederick Stafford and plenty of belle femmes. 2.5/5

G

Gaki Zoshi aka The Water Was So Clear 1973
downer b+w drama begins with a grieving young woman wandering thru a storm before she is taken in by a temple. she seems happy at first but as she struggles with her feelings toward one of the monks a vile outsider disrupts her newfound home. with no dialog beside prayer and chanting the film conveys the stark contrast of life inside the temple, a quiet sanctuary of natural beauty where time stands still, with the modern, loud and dangerous outside world and all its vices. calming rains become the soundtrack, even a catalyst driving the action as well as a reflection of the characters’ emotions. beautiful and cruel, the pace is slow but I found it interesting if muddier than the title- ymmv. a soggy 3/5
Garden of Death aka The Gardener aka Seeds of Evil 1974
bizarre low budget affair that combines horror and science fiction into a surreal dreamlike experience. starring Joe Dallesandro as the ?evil? gardener and Katherine Houghton from “Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner?” as his employer/admirer, it’s weird from the get go but it also takes its time unfolding like a mystery here and a soap opera there. see, Carl can make your garden grow but his plants are very unusual and some of the locals are spooked by the varieties and how quickly they spread. he also makes it very clear that he works alone. and everything he grows seems to have thorns! some of the party scenes were enjoyable for all the wrong reasons and the lackadaisical way some characters reacted to the strange proceedings was amusing as well. it may not be good but it’s definitely unique. Dallesandro (I’m guessing) is more eye candy than actor- his every line is delivered like some high school jock talked into starring in the big play because he’s the only one that fit into the costume. that’s obviously not the precise case here as he spends the entire movie shirtless. the film alternates between oddly uninteresting and oddly intriguing but there are some standout moments. the ending in particular was appropriate if not entirely illuminating. the print I saw was fairly washed out but that only added to the fantastical mood. not too much in the way of gore but one nasty vine chopping scene will stick with you. and that ending! a try-it 3/5
Gehenna: Where Death Lives 2016
low budget acting weakens some decent ideas and creepy bojobo dolls in yet another yarn about intruders violating sacred spooky places. this time it’s young real estate developers going underground on a gorgeous Pacific island and encountering the impossible. ambitious but not up to the task at hand, it’s well lit with good fx while the script is murky with few chills. 2.5/5
Geissel des fleisches/Torment of the Flesh 1965
early German exploitation thriller plays like a sleazy “Psycho” about a horny wacko whose violent urges are the result of decadent society’s sexualization of women. and this film’s lingering pervcam and cheesecake shots didn’t help either. nor does the fact that our sickie works in a stripclub. it’s hard to tell if the filmmakers were trying to have their cake and eat it too (that is, issue an indictment using the language of the problem they’re exposing) or just tried to dress up an excuse for so much skin and shock value. probably the latter. intrusive striptease music keeps things from getting too intense despite the ick factor, and while the antagonist is certainly despicable, what do you call a nightclub where underage dancers are auctioned off to rich old pedophiles? told ineffectively in courtroom flashbacks, this could be recut into a true shocker. 2.5/5
Geostorm 2017
pretty but pretty bad sci fi eco-thriller about a weather control satellite that turns killer. cheesy and predictable but mindlessly entertaining with mostly good cgi and a mostly decent cast (except for Johnny D-bag) including Gerard Butler, Ed Harris and Abbie Cornish. kick back and smugly enjoy. or watch something better. 3/5
Get Carter 1971
a slow start and a lowwwwwwww key Michael Caine eventually get things percolating with a club to the head. we’re dropped smack dab in the middle of a complicated plot as Caine’s Carter simmers and finally boils. the action comes in fits and spurts but there’s plenty of pretty women and groovy music to tide you over. Caine is badass and cuts an iconic figure in trench coat with shotgun as he punches, stabs, shoots, and poisons his way to revenge. and what an ending! 3/5
Get Out 2017
weirdly creepy tale of a white family meeting their daughter’s black boyfriend at their country estate. it’s a slick looking sort of sci fi horror mishmash of older films and a bit “Twilight Zone” to boot but not much else. an ok 3/5
Gezora, Ganime, Kameba: Kessen! Nankai no daikaijû aka Space Amoeba aka Yog: Monster From Space 1970
effective use of sets and locations, sfx that run the gamut from pretty good to pretty bad and decent models almost balance out the lame talky sections in this silly and goofy (yes, both) rubbersuit monster fest. there’s a human space man, an octopus? and then a squid? crab? turtle? monster and the humans want to use bats to control the octopus idk I lost track. sure it’s fun but not enough imo. 2.5/5
The Ghastly Ones 1968
typically great/awful Milligan weirdness about three married sisters who are summoned for a will reading. a would be third rate Scrooge impersonator lawyer tells the three couples they must convene on a private island as per the terms of their late father’s will. filled with bad acting, bad dialog and odd camera work, the tone is all over the map and just as difficult to decipher. plays like a bunch of friends got together to make some home movies. the hilarious juxtaposition of the inept visuals/performances and the halfway decent musical score plus the utter shoddiness of it all equals fun with a capital Milligan. irresistible garbage or just garbage? only you can decide. 2.5/5
The Ghost of Sierra de Cobre 1964
tv movie with Martin Landau, Diane Baker and Dame Judith Anderson is a spooky tale of a paranormal investigator brought to look into phone calls from a dead woman. well written and excellently filmed in b+w with some startling visuals. like an extended “Twilight Zone” episode, it was supposedly a pilot for a new, horror based tv series. a real shame that never happened because if this is typical of what it would’ve been, it would be mentioned in the same breath as TZ, Outer, Gallery etc. a great choice for movie night- turn off the lights and fire up that popcorn! 3.5/5
Ghost Watch 1992
BBC production about a tv show investigating the paranormal centers on a purported haunted house and its small family. clever and effective with a few standout moments but nothing goosebump inducing. the script takes a few left turns that keep things interesting, even if the payoff doesn’t exactly justify the journey. otoh, I definitely didn’t see it coming. 3/5
Ghost World 2001
a great cast enlivens this story of two young women at a crossroads in their lives: Becky, the popular one who wants to hurry and grow up, and Enid, who’s not so sure of what she wants or who she wants to be. filled with mostly unhappy characters just trying to find their way, the film is cruel, touching and very funny. with Thora Birch, Scarlett Johanssen and Steve Buscemi. 4/5
The Ghoul 1934
Karloff is great but underused as a mad professor obsessed with ancient Egypt in this old creaker. the pace sputters in the middle but terrific shadowy sets that approach expressionism and a scarified Karloff save it. 3/5
Girl In Gold Boots 1968
another Mikels masterpiece (with only the best soundtracks) this time about Michelle, an opportunistic waitress so determined to make it as a dancer she gets into a-hole Buzz’s car. they and counterfeiter songwriter Critter make their way to Hollywood where they find fortune and trouble. cautionary tale contains lots of mean creeps, too many songs, too much time not spent on Leslie McRay passing possibly the greatest audition ever. the lovely Miss McRay may be many things but she is not a dancer: she moves like a reanimated corpse given jolts of electricity or an alien attempting to demonstrate human dancing to its kind. meanwhile buttmunch Buzz is played like a Sears and Roebuck serial killer. the Critter abides. 3/5 if you’ve acquired the taste.
The Girl On The Late, Late Show 1974
tv movie that’s too many things at once to be anything much at all at least features the always welcome Sherry Jackson in a brief role. uneven performances, too much narration, mostly poor music and a scatterbrain script undo this wannabe throwback mystery. a few decent ’70s tv movie suspense moments but they are very few and far between. with Bert Convy, Cameron Mitchell, Joe Santos, Yvonne DiCarlo… the list goes on and on but the movie just isn’t that good. also it seems to have been sponsored by Gloria Grahame’s management company, as although she only appears for a few moments onscreen, the film makes much use of clips from her previous performances: every tv Don Murray looks at is playing one of her pictures. 2.5/5
Girly aka Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny and Girly 1970
highly enjoyable weirdness about a bizarre family unit that takes their fun and games seriously. and deadly. British black comedy of mind games is titillating and perverse. 3.5/5
The Glass Wall 1953
a displaced person tries to enter the US under Statute 6 but lacks proof to back up his story. the clock is ticking as he tries to evade capture and find the soldier whose life he saved abroad. Vittorio Gassman is very good as the sympathetic war refugee. another cheapie with Gloria Grahame, who looks fantastic and is unusually vulnerable here, is fairly well shot (except for a few poor rear projection segments), including fascinating glimpses of vintage NYC. marred a bit by a preachy, melodramatic finish. with Jerry Paris. 3/5
Glissements progressifs du plaisir/Successive Slidings of Pleasure 1974
French weirdness that’s alternately intriguing, sickening and preposterous concerns a young female artist accused of murdering her lover and model. when it isn’t being obvious or pretentious, it encompasses horror and nunsploitation even as its performance art tendencies get typically silly. the film wants to be sexy (read: fetishy) but some of the imagery and content, despite the nudity etc, is miles from erotic. in fact the mc is quite abnormal in exactly how she gets her particular, ahem, kicks. the performers move like animated statues devoid of passion, not unlike the mannequins they employ. with extreme “kink” stuff like this you have to wonder if it’s the story or the director’s own fantasies being served. the sound design is quirky and plays a large, sometimes unsettling role but like everything else becomes excessive. and not subtle. the score conveys a definite dichotomy as it punctuates and contrasts with angelic and foreboding moods. the film also plays like a creepy love letter to star Anicée Alvina, here a sort of psychotic chanteuse detached from reality and effectively a child in a woman’s body. often naked or as a seeming schoolgirl, the camera lingers on her face in endless angles and poses despite the offscreen activity. with a narrative that jumps around as much as the tone, it can either be offputting or obliquely entertaining. several effective scenes, varied locations and setpieces are often undermined by the forced, calculated “shocking” nature of a script no doubt designed to send conservatives running for the exits. and that arrhythmic editing! so French. how do you like your eggs? 2.5/5 for the odd factor and the parts that work. warning: there are some very disturbing moments of aberrant sexual behavior.
Godzina pasowej rozy/Hour Of A Crimson Rose 1963
a bride-to-be time travels into the past via a magic clock with a “living” photograph for a guide in Polish female director Halina Bielinska’s fantasy. somehow mc Ania’s family is basically the same as it would be 80 years in the future so her biggest problem is getting her hands on the clock and using it properly. hence it’s not the greatest film but it’s a short little diversion about seizing the day that’s well shot with appealing leads. best part was the trippy clock merchant. 2.5/5
Gohiki no shinshi/Cash Calls Hell 1966
a hard luck ex con has limited options but stays true to himself in this violent new wave gangster noir by Hideo Gosha. story concerns itself not just with victims and criminals but their families and other lost souls in their orbits. a bit contrived but otherwise good. 3/5
Golden Needles 1974
a golden statue with forbidden acupuncture maps is sought after in what seems like a tv movie and not just because of Elizabeth Ashley. though modest-budgeted with varied locations and very widescreen it plays small with lackluster direction and an unconvincing script. less than thrilling and even with no commercials it feels padded. lots of defenestration. Joe Don Baker, Jim Kelly and Burgess Meredith star. 2.5/5
Goldface il fantastico superman/Goldface the Fantastic Superman 1967
(lousy dubbed print) Espartaco Santoni stars as costumed crime fighting wrestler Goldface squaring off against the Cobra in this cheap Spanish/Italian weird ear of corn. it could’ve been goofy fun I guess, but it wasn’t. seems every scene goes on too long, it’s all poorly filmed and scored and reeks of cash-in or pandering. dull and silly. 2/5
Golem 1980
Polish dystopian, surreal sci-fi recalls Kafka, Lem, steampunk and possibly even inspired “Brazil.” the titular golem is created in a post nuclear war lab but finds himself in a maze of fascist bureaucracy populated with real monsters: humans. a dreamlike narrative, odd performances, bizarre music and color schemes and experimental optical/audio effects combine to create a unique experience. it’s fairly creepy in spots too, especially the terrifying cinema (and bathroom!) and the whispering visitor bearing gifts. 3/5
Gou hun jiang tou/Black Magic 2 1976
a sort of sequel, this is more of the same but just as enjoyable. or just as unenjoyable, depending on whether you like this sort of crazy crap. chances are if you’re reading this, you’re like me and you definitely like this sort of crazy crap. a Shaw Brothers produced bit of Hong Kong horror, it’s gross out body shock with worms, skin ulcers, dissolving flesh, plucked eyeballs, monster fetuses and zombie call girls and their warlock-all around capitalist-pimp. neither of the two films had very threatening warlocks but this one maybe wins by a (small clump of) hair. and both films’ male witches require the same youth-giving formula. see, the writers cleverly made it a plot point so the nudity (and act itself) is simply part of the story! so clever. that particular fetish aspect seemed more prominent in the first one, but maybe I’m jaded already. anyway, there’s some in and unin-tentional humor along with a pretty good soundtrack to help offset the yuck factors. certainly not great, probably not even very good but definitely entertaining. 3/5
The Great Flamarion 1945
marksman entertainer regales his “no time to call the police” deathbed confession that literally begins “it all started…” in this mid-budget, mid-convincing noir that swings and mostly misses but is still enjoyable. narrated and less than enthralling, it plays like an old tv movie. Erich Stroheim is the weakest link in the cast imo; Dan Duryea is Dan Duryea, Mary Beth Hughes is great and Esther Howard gets the best lines. 3/5
The Green Man 1956
an infamous assassin is plagued by incompetent help and a pushy salesman in this funny British mystery starring Alastair Sim. he navigates the maze of obstacles with ever decreasing aplomb, including a terrific ladies string trio. with Terry-Thomas, George Cole and Jill Adams. 3/5
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 2023
after an uncharacteristically downbeat and frankly disturbing start, whatever passes for “things” get moving but at least it’s fairly well lit with good cgi. the team tries to save an injured Rocket and wind up taking on the High Evolutionary (great villain name) who’s building a new world. problem is, his “evolved” beings are less than perfect (and for some reason humanoid). cruel, violent and definitely not your typical Disney cuddlefest; however, it’s almost enjoyable in spite of itself. almost. 2.5/5
Guilty Bystander 1950
(very dark print off youtube) low budget, grungey mystery about an ex-cop drunk searching for he and his ex wife’s son. downbeat and filled with seedy characters, it’s B movie bronze if not gold. it had its moments but other than as an obscurity I didn’t much care for it. some parts were so dark I thought my tv died on me. 2.5/5
Gui ma tian shi/Taoism Drunkard 1984
cartoonish, everything and the kitchen sink goof fest that rarely lets up enough for you to turn it off probably has a plot but I couldn’t find it. and didn’t care much because it was weird fun and had enough effective (and even more preposterous) moments to balance the juvenility. the banana monster was a highlight, as vicious as it was cute, and sure to bring the giggles. 2.5/5
Guru, The Mad Monk 1972
for this one it seems Mr. Milligan had access to a surfside island church and maybe a JC Penney or Alexander’s giftcard. set in the Lost Souls Church of Mortavia run by mirror-talking Father Guru, here looking more like Bea Arthur in an alien sci fi movie than a mad monk, it’s the tale of an ethically-questionable priest, his hunchback, the fair maiden and her Woody Allen impersonator boyfriend. imo this is middle of the road Andy. the monk is decent enough (esp his administrations!), there’s an underdeveloped ?nun? vampire character and Igor is as sympathetic as he should be. otherwise there’s worse than usual lighting, off camera and hilariously just-on-camera “gore effects” and some creative male costumes to go along with the usual mixed bag acting and ridiculous soundtrack. there are laughs for sure but overall GTMM is too good to be too much fun. 2/5
Gyerekbetegségek/Children’s Sicknesses 1965
episodic Hungarian comedy mostly from children’s pov successfully uses optical fx, audio and visual editing and more to create the effect of a live action cartoon. strikingly photographed with surreal compositions and fanciful segments, it depicts their little worlds in all their complexity, strangeness and cruelty. mostly charming aside from some questionable adult (and teacher) behavior. maybe a bit flimsy but certainly funny with the wrestling uncle a sure highlight. 3.5/5

H

Hagazussa 2018
a trippy-creepy folk-horror fable that will both baffle and repulse, is as engaging as it is alienating. what it won’t do is restore your faith in the human race. almost everyone behaves horribly throughout but most of it seems directed toward our protagonist. what this poor woman did to deserve such treatment isn’t shown but that’s where most of the film resides: in the shadows, in the corners and in the sounds of our minds. it’s what isn’t shown that holds the sometimes beautiful, sometimes grotesque series of vignettes together. like a nightmare playing itself out no matter how opaque, we follow our doomed heroine in and out of superstition and madness. and savagery. the unspecified time and location offer plenty of hardships both natural and man made. yet, with sparse dialog, each and every shot is a joy to behold. the gorgeous scenery literally comes alive and is as much a character as the human cast. animals play a role too. sometimes a very strange role indeed. a woman and her daughter live as outcasts away from a village who view them as witches. it is assumed the plague is running rampant as there is talk of the unclean and non believers. xenophobia reigns. bandits roam the hills pillaging and raping. it is not a good time to be a young, female outsider. after her mother’s death the young woman has a daughter of her own and continues to struggle with superstitious villagers who she tries to meekly avoid. when one woman acts kindly toward her they form a fast friendship. but like most everything here, things are not what they seem. while there is very little of the gruesome or outright supernatural actually onscreen, there are certainly moments of supreme disgust and palpable terror. contrasted with the grue and unholiness of the moments that do appear, the by comparison more subtle scenes retain an underlying unseemliness as if they were soiled by proxy. first the good: this movie looks phenomenal. absolutely spectacular locations, fantastic cinematography and impeccable lighting combine with unsettling sound design and an unearthly soundtrack that I can only assume was performed on period instruments making a powerful mix of the real and the unreal. and just like a dream or nightmare, the story dips in and out of the terrors of the natural world and those of the mind. depending on how you interpret the events (and in what order you align them) the story is confoundingly complex and/or straight ahead paranormal revenge horror. as the mc starts to unravel, so does the narrative as we slide into darkness and confusion. the bad: that very same fragmented storytelling can also be offputting, especially to a first time viewer. with as much sympathy as our heroine earns, her motives and even actions often seem unclear. when your narrator becomes unreliable you run the risk of stepping back too far to remain coherent or diving in too far and losing focus. patience is a virtue. let the film wash over you. don’t try to pin it down. a second viewing may be called for. some called the film “pretentious” but that wasn’t my impression at all. incredibly strange and wtf? weird, yes. disturbing, thought provoking, depressing and absorbing, too. directed by Lukas Feigelfeld, it’s in the same ballpark as “The VVitch” and maybe a bit “Midsommar” too. not sure of the rating but it should be “R” for some obvious moments and also for some very, very, very weird ones too. 4/5
Hail 1972
comedic, dystopian look at life in future D.C. with a fascist president and his federal police force rounding up undesirables. more like alien space soldiers than public servants, these cops are “specialists in discipline” that enforce obedience with extreme prejudice. droll, pessimistic farce has a performance art aspect and is so of its time it can’t be considered anything other than sincere. with Dick O’Neill, Gary Sandy, Richard B. Shull and Brandon Maggert of “Christmas Evil.” not bad but undone by its too broad tone and unrealized potential. 2.5/5
Hangyaboly/Anthill 1971
Hungarian drama set in a convent details the nuns aspirations and loves under a backdrop of the eternal struggle between tradition and progress. while it was well shot I found it too slow and not interesting enough to recommend other than perhaps for fans of that country’s cultural and morality based historical dramas. imo the younger sisters’ antics were much more entertaining than the older conservative nuns’ debates- maybe if the perspective were more balanced or told from the pov of the new guard it would’ve been more watchable. definitely could fall into arthouse territory as there are plenty of lyrical compositions, a good candle-lit nighttime rebellion and the fine locations which still shone thru the very faded print I saw. a halfhearted 3/5
Hanno cambiato faccia/They Have Changed Their Face 1971
offbeat minor gem that manages to keep things interesting despite laying it all out in the opening titles. modern fascist corporations have become this century’s boogeymen. devil worshipping cults are now money worshipping board members. fashion, technology, religion, advertising… their leaders capitalists all who only conspire to sell!sell!sell! and to increase their influence. the film is competently made but feels low budget imo mostly from the odd cast: the acting is not great but at least it isn’t distracting. some nice touches like the fleet of estate guards who drive around like robots, the funky layout of the “modern” house and its maze-like grounds, the mysterious book of who’s who, an enigmatic big bad and my second fav cinematic LSD reference in the form of an awesome tv commercial make this one not only unique but enjoyable too. 3/5
Han varasti elaman/Stolen Life 1962
Finnish office crime black comedy about a disturbed accountant who makes off with company money and starts a new life of philanthropy and murder. mostly effective mix of creepy and silly works thanks to star Risto Makela, a sort of silent film era version of Jonathan Winters with his penetrating gaze and physicality. definitely different with beautiful locations. 3/5
Haunted Mansion 2023
serviceable if mediocre offering tries so hard to be a good time that it forgets to be compelling. high production values, solid vfx and some laughs at least make it fairly entertaining. otherwise, bland and routine. with Rosario Dawson, Danny DeVito and Owen Wilson. a barely there 3/5
Haunts 1976
super cheap oddity about a maniac with scissors terrorizing a small town and a repressed woman. a dark and dingy print suited the unpleasant proceedings. not much to recommend and I can’t say I’m sure what it was all about. I must’ve blinked and missed it. with Cameron Mitchell and a very weird moment that I would’ve wagered originated with “Hagazussa” over 40 years later. 2/5
Hausu/House 1977
ultra fun and bizarre pastiche of animation techniques tells the story of schoolgirls in a haunted house. over the top and deliriously creative, this film is a blast. 3.5/5
The Headless Eyes 1971
the eyes have it! an artist suffers for his art in this grubby and twisted cheapie that manages to transcend its limitations by embracing its weirdness. after a hilarious audio-looped intro we’re playing “button, button, who’s got the button?” with our one eyed sicko via trippy camera angles and an unearthly soundtrack. student film/arthouse curiosity is both disturbing and silly with a wacked out script and ever increasing grimness. an all together different kind of spoonman. 2.5/5
Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s Apocalypse 1991
expansive and fascinating documentary of the difficulties surrounding the making of Coppola’s 2nd most famous film. comprised mostly of interviews and Eleanor Coppola’s bts footage and on location diary entries, the meta nature of “Apocalypse Now” the movie’s declaration of the madness of the Vietnam war being mirrored in the actual production is laid out in the opening press conference. way over budget, years in the making, delayed by typhoons, a Philippine government that loaned helicopters (and often pulled them for military operations), difficult casting, onset drug use and multiple rewrites… it’s amazing anything at all managed to come from it. fan of the film or not, as a time capsule this doc is priceless. 3/5
Hebi Musume to Hakuhatsuma/Snake Girl and the Silver Haired Witch 1968
Sayuri, the young daughter of a herpetologist, returns from boarding school to find things have changed just a tad on the home front. her dreams become strange and her imagination gets the better of her. or does it? while I didn’t care for the reliance on narration, the leads are likable and the story is definitely unusual. the imaginative sfx reminded me a bit of “Hausu” in their variety and serve to keep the viewer off balance. the cuteness is countered by the creepiness and there are plenty of darkened hallways, spooky masks and fun monsters to boot. despite a few fairly brutal sequences this could be considered family fare but some scenes would imo be waaaaay too much for young children. (think PG at least) if you don’t expect anything actually scary here you may enjoy this fun and bizarre movie. 3/5
The Heiress 1949
Olivia de Havilland stars as an unremarkable woman in love with a dashing man of whom her wealthy father does not approve. speaking of, pops is a real dick throughout, often belittling (and worse) de Havilland. she’s terrific as the sweet turned sour Catherine and manages to bypass the melodrama better than the rest of the fine cast. there’s humor as well so an easy 3/5
Hellboy 2019
loud, indulgent and crude pre-re-whatever has David Harbour in the title role. much darker and gorier than the previous installments and despite a few too cgi heavy moments that border on video game, most of the movie looks great. overall it’s some fun but not enough to excuse the excess. 2.5/5
Hell’s Bloody Devils 1970
they’re badasses, these bikers. they sport swastikas so you know they’re legit. nogoodnick roustabouts all, they’ll kill you for kicks, Jack. uncle Al does motorcycle gang/cops/spies/nazis etc and it’s real heavy man, like it ain’t too groovy. it plays like three or four movies at once, each of them stupid in their own way. there are nice looking women, an amazing secret counterfeiting shack, stationwagon driving assassins, there are twins in a pet shop with John Carradine (huh?), there’s Colonel Sanders with tan and white buckets… but my fav has to be the police chief at the map calling out coordinates into the microphone like a coach at the chalkboard. “Let’s get it on” and then some! a good choice to fall asleep to trying to figure out if any of it makes any sense. an in-spite-of-itself 3/5
Help Me I’m Possessed 1976
whoa. this is a weird one. derivative but demented tale that makes little sense but does make you laugh and feel icky at the same time hits the ground running with an amazingly low budget shocker of an opener. mostly great fun for fans of the awful while its intermittent moments of competency make you scratch your head that much harder. the soundtrack and musical cues are beyond bizarre and there’s even real humor in the off kilter script. a castle sanitarium story that’s a bit “Doctor Gore,” “Don’t Look In The Basement,” “Bloodsucking Freaks” and with a henchman straight out of “Manos…” (but with less complex footwear), this one has it all but still manages to be its own beast. the castle sets look like ones from the old “Mission Impossible” tv show and I even thought I spotted Graham Chapman’s “stop the sketch” policeman. the voiceovers are over the top, the makeup effects are lousy and the whole movie looks like it was filmed on vintage porn film stock. an oddity from 1976 that seems several years earlier at least, it’s an amusingly perverse only-in-the-’70s sickflick that plays better than its low budget due to effective editing and direction. for the strangeness and the laughs it’s a 3/5
Herbie Rides Again 1973
silly entry in the improbable Disney series about that enchanted Volkswagen bug concerns a mean old developer and the nice old lady who stands in his way. although released in 1973 it looks more like a 1960s film with that era’s vfx and flat tv look to everything. although mostly bad it’s harmless enough and there are some laughs like the drunk on the trolley ride. the nightmare sequence of “horror Herbie” was bizarre to say the least. with Keenan Wynn, Helen Hayes, Ken Berry and the wonderful Stefanie Powers. 2.5/5
Hereditary 2018
Toni Collette stars in this twisted tale of a grieving family with a lot on their plate. I liked the use of both day and night for the spooky stuff while miniature and life sized sets keep the viewer off balance. the story is plenty dark too, with intense music and trippy vfx to bring the chills. I’d easily put it in my top ten scariest if not higher. written and directed by Ari Aster. 3.5/5
Herzog blaubarts burg/Bluebeard’s Castle 1963
(washed out 4X3 print) small scale but creative rendition of the Bartok opera about a man with skeletons in his closet and the new lady in his life. inventive sets, practical fx and plenty of mood lighting elevate this over a simple filmed adaptation. directed by Michael Powell. 3/5
His Butler’s Sister 1943
Deanna Durbin wants a job as a singer while her brother tries to keep his cushy butler job in this comedy directed by Frank Borzage. Durbin does well with the role which includes a fair bit of singing and the film has an international cast and feel that works in its favor. 3/5
Hoffman 1969
Peter Sellers and Sinead Cusack star in this strange story of a weirdo and his lovely young obsession. a bit uneven as it tries to be lighthearted whilst psychologically challenging, and I didn’t buy Miss Smith’s change(s) of heart since the film tries to paint Mr. Hoffman as something other than a sociopath. just because a creepy stalker/blackmailer is sad and alone doesn’t make him endearing. some affecting moments and Cusack is terrific. 3/5 for her alone
Hold That Ghost 1941
this classic old comedy still gets laughs out of me, making up for the drought that was “A&CMF.” here the boys are part of a group holed up in a dead gangster’s hotel. nice shadowy sets and a good supporting cast including Joan Davis. 3/5
The Honeymoon Killers 1969
true life shocker about an unhappy woman who falls in love with a lonely hearts swindler and becomes half of a murderous couple. very grim and unpleasant proceedings plays like a documentary/reenactment and it ain’t no picnic. 3/5 but not enjoyable on any level.
Horror of the Blood Monsters 1970
another Sunday night, another Al Adamson cheapfest, this one apparently several bad films cut into one stinkeroo. after the local weatherman a vampire attacks some people on the street we’re treated to a super high tech control room and a ground control using what I’m sure are realistic communication protocols. a thankfully short lived voice over gives us the lay of the land: vampires originated from space, which is the coolest thing about this movie and I’m including John Carradine. our intrepid rocket crew flies to the source of the plague where they also observe that planet’s local fauna, including dinosaurs and humanoid natives fighting these space vampires. who are just grunting cavemen with plastic fangs two sizes too big, which is the biggest problem here: a promising start of a loopy vampire/silly space movie becomes too much time spent on lousy caveman fights and exposition. it’s a turd with literal cartoon special fx, worse than usual acting, trippy “space” synth sounds, and an extremely odd and thoroughly useless futuristic “sex scene” (complete with romantic banter). the lobster and bat men were fun but not nearly enough. this should’ve been called “Boredom of the Fanged Cavemen.” 1.5/5
Horrors of the Black Museum 1959
after an eye opening start things all but fossilize until a masked guillotinist does his weird thing. Michael Gough has weird hair and June Cunningham has weird taste in nightlife in this lame British “shocker” about a true crime writer and Scotland Yard tracking a killer. mostly cheap and dull but there are a few twisted moments with a host of exotic murder weapons. think William Castle by way of the UK. 2.5/5
Horse Girl 2020
Sarah is a strange young woman who is finding herself in places she can’t recall ever going. a tragic event in her past has kept her in a sort of emotional limbo, and the processing of her guilt is causing her to drift away from reality. or is it? are these things happening to her or because of her? this scifi drama offers no explanations, only possibilities. instead of being meandering or frustrating, I found it satisfyingly intriguing with a narrative and conclusion that can be interpreted in more than one way. with Alison Brie and Molly Shannon 3.5/5
Hot Summer Week aka Girls On The Road 1972
one of the producers’ sons sings the opener in this groovy road “movie” about two teen wallflowers who decide to live it up by driving like lunatics, giving empty streets the finger, tossing their bras out the window and picking up strange (but cute) hitchhikers. Michael Ontkean is a troubled war vet who hooks up with our two heroines near a beachside hippie community. like a drive-in episode of “The Brady Bunch” complete with corntacular music, it’s quaint and dated, drenched in California sunshine and actually has a few insightful things to say in between the tame shocks. coming of age drama with horror leanings is too goofy to be more than a silly little time waster. with Dianne Hull and Kathleen Cody. 3/5 for the laughs
House By The River 1950
directed by Fritz Lang, a creep kills his maid and goes to increasing lengths to cover it up as those in his orbit are made to suffer. lots of shadowy sets create an atmosphere perfect for skulking about and that river is deep and dark enough to hold its secrets. maybe not Lang’s best as things drag in the middle and the ending is abrupt but a good cast and truly rotten mc make up for it. 3/5
The House In Marsh Road 1960
a financially struggling couple inherit a haunted house and a new set of problems. noirish but maybe too British although it moves well enough that you won’t mind. a few neat twists make it worth watching if not essential. with a sexy Sandra Dorne 3/5
House of Seven Corpses 1973
after a terrific title sequence, the glacial setup unfolds as a film crew shoots a horror movie in a cursed mansion and accidentally unleashes the supernatural. it’s all one step forward, one and a half steps back as it gets some things right and the rest so wrong. decently filmed with a bit of atmosphere but undone by pacing issues, continuity errors and uneven performances, it mostly plays like a bloody tv movie that could’ve been much more interesting. with John Ireland, John Carradine and a cute cat. 2.5/5
The House That Cried Murder aka The Bride aka The House On Massacre Street 1973
(hideously bland print off tubi) cheap and weird junk about a bride disgraced on her wedding day and her eventual revenge. David, the cheating ex, is doing better btw. his new girl may scare easily but at least she isn’t a psycho. ridiculous, boring and hilarious, it’s like an extended vintage tv commercial mixed with home movies, ten seconds of “horror” and stuffed with great bad music. featuring a kickin’ wedding reception band (in an extraordinarily long segment) and some curious footage of one of Bob Villa’s crew having flashbacks?? generous half star for the laughs 1.5/5
How To Steal A Million 1966
Audrey Hepburn and Peter O’Toole are terrific in this caper comedy about a cat burglar and the daughter of an art forger. it’s very funny and beautifully filmed with gorgeous color. William Wyler directs a great cast including Hugh Griffith a hoot as the forger. 3.5/5
Hunted aka The Stranger In Between 1952
Dirk Bogarde is a desperate fugitive who partners up with a runaway child in this affecting British drama. well photographed and young John Whitely is very good. 3/5

I

Identikit aka The Driver’s Seat 1974
Elizabeth Taylor somehow stars in this weirdfest that’s part soft core, part mystery with shades of “Basic Instinct” and “Dressed To Kill.” a strange woman goes looking for someone she’s never met and finds trouble. is there a genre called “psychological giallo?” definitely different, this is both stylish and offputting, although I am glad it was Taylor and not Bette Davis in the role. 2.5/5 for Liz and the ending that almost saves it
Ilargi guztiak/All the Moons 2020
a mortally wounded young girl is rescued by a mysterious woman who may or may not be of this Earth. after some self discovery the girl is taken in by a grieving widower who eventually comes to see her not only for what she is but what she means to him. touching and beautifully filmed, the cast, soundtrack and direction are wonderful. set in late 19thC Spain it’s a dark fairy tale ruminating on isolation and mortality. gorgeous scenery and an efficient script allow sympathetic characters to live, breathe and..? not your typical horror film but a subtle and satisfying one. 4/5
Il Demonio/The Demon 1963
Daliah Lavi is beautiful, sympathetic and terrifying as a tormented young woman accused of witchcraft in this spooky Italian b+w tragedy. the film parallels her “demonic” behavior with the cruel, bizarre, superstitious beliefs and customs of the so called “normal” townspeople. is she possessed or merely a product of her environment? a startling series of exorcisms, beautiful locations and striking visuals make this a winner. 4/5
Il Deserto Rosso/Red Desert 1964
characters move like toys or children thru oversized spaces. or maybe they just don’t belong anywhere. the harsh industrial wasteland setting is an alien place- a living, breathing thing as toxic and unwelcoming as everywhere else. to survive one must learn to avoid the poison. a troubled woman tries to find her place amongst strangers in Antonioni’s first color film. while certainly beautiful to look at, I can’t say I really enjoyed the experience- it’s hardly entertaining or satisfying imo. 2.5/5
Il grande racket/The Big Racket 1976
(dubbed) Italian poliziotteschi about a renegade cop squaring off against a gang of well dressed extorting punks and their mafia boss. strident, long, typically over the top, ugly and violent with fistfights, gunfights and general mayhem galore. otoh, it’s fairly well shot with mostly good action, cool music and an awesome car off a cliff. with Fabio Testi and Vincent Gardenia. 2.5/5
Il plenilunio delle virgini/The Devil’s Wedding Night 1973
offbeat Italian vampire story is poorly scored but Rosalba Neri, beautiful locations and dark setpieces almost save it. has a low budget weirdness that suits the horror aspects well- too bad there’s no devil and it isn’t scary. it’s basically a cheap ‘n’ sleazy, often goofy Euro-Hammerish Dracula tale with double twins, a gaudy ring and an oft nude Neri instead of an old count. mostly well shot with good color, it’s not bad but not good enough to overcome its many flaws. good to fall asleep to. 2.5/5
Il terzo occhio/The Third Eye 1966
mid budget Italian mystery thriller sees Mino go crazy after his fiance and mother are murdered but it’s a short trip as he was fairly bonkers to begin with. strange and lurid with gross taxidermy, it’s fairly brutal with ugly (if manufactured) animal cruelty but no nudity and mostly bloodless killings. some beautiful women and an effective first half, it’s well photographed in b+w if a tad soft but overall too over the top to be very tense. 2.5/5
Impact 1949
Brian Donlevy is a wealthy businessman betrayed by his cheating wife who meets a war widow played by princess Leia the always welcome Ella Raines in this talky Lubin directed mystery drama. good performances and plenty of shadows plus theremin, a cool nighttime drive thru the hills and a cute miniature crash outweigh a few plot holes for a good if not great time. 3/5
Incubus 1981
after a pleasantly bizarre opening, things stay strange but never scary despite strong early ’80s horror vibes. a creepy doctor who acts more like a cop investigates a series of violent rape murders while his daughter dates a weird guy who has weird dreams. good photography and use of locations plus a Cronenberg-ish look help a lot but it’s ultimately a disappointment. star John Cassavetes definitely has the best line: “This looks like a dry intercourse.” 2.5/5
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny 2023
this supposed last chapter sees a grumpy Indy and his annoying understudy chasing, running, snatching and hunting to ever decreasing interest. certainly not bad but nothing essential or even very enjoyable. there’s a rousing start and lots of locations but no sense of time or place with heavy handed music inflating uninvolving action scenes. it’s the Disney treatment so there are lessons too and of course shoutouts and callbacks because they want to show you what they bought. 2.5/5
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade 1989
this third installment in the series is big budget, gorgeous, old school moviemaking expertly made on practically every level. real people on real sets with seemingly minimal cgi still can’t be beat. it’s far from perfect with unnecessary cheese and some vfx that haven’t aged well and is a bit tedious at times. good but not the joyride it thinks it is. 3/5
The Initiation of Sarah 1978
tv movie about a college student who joins more than a sorority in yet another “Carrie” ripoff. average in every way- not bad but not very good either, although Sarah’s powers appear possibly more varied than her inspiration and there was unmined potential in her backstory. maybe a sequel was in order. otherwise, slow and clunky with trusting victims to elicit sympathy and bullying villains designed to get what’s coming. starring Kay Lenz, Tony Bill, Morgan Fairchild, Shelley Winters and more. 2/5
Intermezzo 1936
beautifully filmed drama about a married violinist who falls for a younger pianist only to sow heartache. well done with complex characters. with Ingrid Bergman, Gosta Ekman and a very cute Britt Hagman. 3/5
Interstellar 2014
long, boringly confusing tale of a not so distant future for mankind sees Matthew McConaughey, Matt Damon, Anne Hathaway, Michael Caine etc etc go into, talk about, argue over and struggle to survive in outer space. I don’t remember the trailer but I doubt even that made this eye-wateringly uninvolving snoozer look interesting. ominous music (for a better movie) tries to give this some substance but for me it was a mission that should’ve been scrubbed. imperfect contact indeed. 2.5/5
Iodo/Io Island 1977
directed by Kim Ki-young shortly before his superior “Woman Chasing the Butterfly of Death,” it’s a soap opera fantasy mystery with too large a cast of characters to give everything a cohesive tone. touching on similar themes, it’s almost as morbid and gleefully over the top as WCTBOD but struck me more as strident and unwelcoming than pensive and engrossing. my preference for the other film out of the way, this one has its moments with some nice cinematography, local sights and sounds, and a strange dreamlike ebb and flow pace that works well with the odd storyline in all its twists. there’s a plot about some unscrupulous developers, legends of a mysterious island populated with women, and a determined reporter who gets caught in its tide but the film bogs down in all the shouting and crying about money, babies and shame. apparently the version I saw was edited but I can’t say the missing footage sounds appealing. at almost two hours, maybe a pared down version would help to focus it. 2.5/5
I pianeti contro di noi/Planets Around Us aka Planets Against Us 1962
Italian/French cheapie sci fi thriller works better than it should due to a creepy villain and weird tv show feel (almost like raw footage an “Outer Limits” episode could’ve been cut from). I would think the low budget kept it more a procedural rather than the sci fi action flick it could’ve been. drags too much but when it clicks it’s fun and strange. seemed in the version I watched some characters were speaking English while onscreen costars weren’t? different if not great with a few impressive and effective moments, including a hysterically huge mobile phone. 3/5
I pugni in tasca/Fists In the Pocket 1965
dark, disturbing Italian drama about a seriously dysfunctional family and the youngest brother who decides to clean house. morbid is putting it mildly. unique and shocking. 3/5
Irezumi/Tattoo 1964
another Japanese wronged woman’s revenge tale, this time of the flesh and blood variety. and plenty of both. Ayako Wakao is riveting as the perpetual subject of male abuse who is eventually forced into prostitution. but a life of oppression has made her tougher than nails and she embraces her new self, feeding on the very ugliness that created her. not pleasant and typically chatty but terrifically shot with good color. 3/5
Irma la douce 1965
Shirley MacLaine and Jack Lemmon star in this comedy drama about a policeman and a streetwalker (thankfully not respectively) that’s terrifically made but ultimately implausible. my biggest gripe is probably Lemmon letting MacLaine continue her line of work even for one more second, but there are many un-pc and dated things about this. Lord X and Irma’s scenes together were my favorite parts. 3/5
I Saw What You Did 1965
goofy music mars this Castle directed thriller about two teen girls who prank call the wrong person. mostly better interiors than exteriors but there’s plenty of fog as well as a shower stabbing, an annoying (read: stupid) little sister and a psycho. with Joan Crawford and John Ireland. 3/5 for the child endangerment
“It’s Alive!” 1968
oddness in the Ozarks by way of Larry Buchanan about a backwoods entrepeneur who feeds passersby to his private monster. beyond ridiculous on many cheap and stupid levels, it’s supposedly a made for tv movie but any exec would be tarred and feathered and then beaten out of town for greenlighting it. the surreal flashback segment approaches horror while the prehistoric creature is charmingly goofy. both entertaining and torturous, it’s rancid moonshine that you’ll love or loathe. either way, Greely rocks! for the craziness 3/5
I Wake Up Screaming 1941
a talent scout is suspected after a model is murdered in this sharply scripted mystery with Betty Grable and Victor Mature. not sure who in fact wakes up screaming but there are some nice shadowy scenes and a creepy Laird Cregar. 3/5
I Walked With A Zombie 1943
Lewton produced classic (with director Jacques Tourner and James Bell) low key tale of a young nurse who takes on a patient in the tropics and finds herself in a bizarre love triangle. a bit slow in spots and I rarely care for narration but the movie’s dripping with atmosphere and terrific sets and lighting. I loved the nightwalk thru the fields to the hounfour and the tiny Jessica doll. 3/5
I Was Happy Here 1966
Sarah Miles is dreamy young Cass, a married woman who longs for days gone by and a simpler time with her old flame. the film steps into and out of the past and its memories like washed away footprints on the beach. soft melancholia with moody night scenes and good performances. 3/5

J

Jack the Giant Killer 1962
an evil wizard “ravishes” the land of a beautiful princess in this mix of live action and animation. a farmboy is tasked with guarding the princess to sanctuary. though made in the US the film has an international feel and extensive sets and locations despite what looks like a medium budget. the stop motion effects are mostly well done but vary greatly in quality, while the blend of real actors/scenery with the models is less than wonderful. princess Elaine’s transformation into an evil witch was a highlight. the print I watched off plex was fairly washed out in spots and the whole film had a soft, dull look with sallow complexions but better versions are available. with Kerwin Mathews and Judi Meredith. 3/5
Jennie: Wife/Child 1965
oh Mr. Peckingpaw, re edit this into a movie with a consistent tone. weird and cheap b+w potboiler suds filled with cruelty, amateur hour performances and bizarre drive in intertitles. played by Beverly Lunsford, the titular Jennie is most certainly fetching but far too high strung. there’s a hilarious dance club scene, drunken motorcycling, a shadowy cellar, amazing music and a demented dopiness about the whole thing that’s plenty entertaining but ymmv 3/5
Jo 1971
very funny French comedy about a writer planning the perfect murder. dunno which story was the first to use that premise but this version is anything but cliched. a bit broad in spots but a brisk pace and enough laugh out loud moments more than make up for it. 3.5/5
Jonathan 1970
German arthouse/dance troupe vampire movie that’s part “SNL” skit, part effective historical horror is mostly ruined by “Love, American Style” music but when everything clicks it’s wonderfully weird. trouble is it just doesn’t click enough. seems there’s a plague of vampires and the corpses are piling up; it’s time for the humans to fight back. perhaps more effective lighting would’ve helped sell the conventional horror aspects since the minimal gore was well handled. with a crazed ?antipriest?, brutal men in black hats and one of the strangest cinematic examples of exhibitionism I’ve ever gawked at. warning: contains animal cruelty. 2.5/5
Jowita 1967
a libidinous young athlete pursues a woman in disguise at a party only to find himself instead. well drawn characters, flawed individuals all, trying to both improve and escape their lives populate this finely written and acted Polish drama. 3/5
Jungfrukällan/The Virgin Spring 1960
powerful and disturbing drama about revenge and religious faith from Ingmar Bergman. emotionally charged and stunningly photographed. unforgettable. with Max Von Sydow. 4.5/5
Junk Head 2021
bizarre and very well made stop motion sci fi tale of strange creatures and their strange existence. flesh eating worms, terrifying human spider monsters and always hungry little nasties that would scare the pants off TOOL and the brothers Quay abound. imagine if Guillermo del Toro was a horror guy who really loved puppets and HR Giger. fantastic production all around with some humor to balance the ugliness, the film looks great and the various characters are beautifully realized. I don’t know that I’d watch it again unless to marvel at the intricately detailed animation but ymmv. not for all tastes but very impressive. 3/5

K

Kaidan: Ikiteiru Koheiji 1982
an actor falls for his friend’s wife and then some. oddly paced and staged, it’s one of many versions of the classic drama modernized by Senzaburo. the whole thing is very theatrical, like a filmed play. the characters seem to be constantly performing, even during their private interactions. while more drama than horror, the rare spooky elements are handled well but the story has been told before. and better. 2.5/5
Kairo/Pulse 2001
extremely creepy and disturbing spookfest from Japan about the untenable connections between dimensions. a bit Lovecraft, a bit “Twilight Zone,” and a bit dystopian apocalypse. features some very creative vfx and one of the most goosebump inducing scenes in horror movie history. 4/5
Kairyû daikessen/The Magic Serpent 1966
fun fantasy with giant monsters, flying ninjas, flying heads, flying doors and appealing leads struggling with opposing family obligations. quick and colorful, it’s well done with good sets and even the goofy parts are enjoyable. the fiery seaside rampage was great although the painted eyes weren’t. 3/5
Kaitei gunkan/Atragon 1963
(dubbed version off tubi) silly pap about the Mu, an underwater civilization who try to claim the surface world. some decent miniatures and explosions but it’s all dull, dull, dull. 2/5
Katalin Varga 2009
intense thriller about a woman who is turned out by her husband when he learns their son isn’t his. she then takes the boy on a quest to find his real father in this striking film by Peter Strickland. an otherworldly score transforms the beauty of the Carpathian mountains into something tangibly menacing. a basic revenge flick might’ve been more cathartic and almost certainly have portrayed their characters as all good or all bad. this is not a basic film. it’s definitely not a feel good film either. it’s a dark, violent tale of vengeance that plays like slow burn horror. apparently shot on 16mm, it was blown up for theatrical release. while I can’t compare the two visually, this one had distracting macroblocking. distracting in that it sometimes added to the eeriness by way of obscurity, resulting in a stylized look that might’ve been seen as intentional. 3/5
Kichiku/The Demon 1978
cruel tragedy/psa about a mother who dumps her children on their father and his wife, who are both even worse human beings than she. hard to watch simulated neglect/abuse, abandonment etc etc make this as unpleasant as it sounds. at least the kids were cute and it was well shot. a bit preachy (believe it or not) in spots; otherwise raw and ugly with a melodramatic score. 2.5/5
Knight and Day 2010
Cameron Diaz travels the world with Tom Cruise and takes a lot of drugs. he’s a spy and she makes bad choices in this action comedy that’s serviceable enough but is too much a date-movie to be any more than that. a begrudging 3/5
Kong: Skull Island 2017
loud, all star, big money production tries hard to put it all on the screen with attention to important details like period music, lens flares and vintage cameras to evoke what looked to me like 1970s blockbusters. a variety of visual styles and fx techniques make for a neat if uneven looking experience but the overdo-everything approach means you can’t see the jungle for the cheese. a popcorn movie if ever there was one. John C. Reilly is the best part. my fav line: “Did they just leave him up there?” 2.5/5
Kozijat rog/Goat’s Horn 1972
violent Bulgarian tragedy about a father who, after his wife is brutally murdered, dedicates himself and his young daughter to a life of revenge. they are persistent and effective but the path is too long for the now young woman to follow. it’s no picnic for the viewer either. definitely not a feel good movie but very well made with a good cast. 3/5
Krakatit 1948
neat Czech fantasy mystery about an explosives expert who faces a moral dilemma is well shot with good use of locations. directed by Otakar Vavra, it’s perhaps not the most unique resolution but enjoyable nonetheless. 3.5/5
Kyojin to gangu/Giants and Toys 1958
mostly fast paced look at the cynical world of the caramel advertising business is part absurdist drama, part commentary, part weird obsession with poor quality cigarette lighters. as a sort of “Mad Men” in Japan, it has a silly charm thanks mostly to star Hitomi Nozoe (and her teeth) that carries the story. 3/5

L

La bambola di satana/The Doll of Satan 1969
atmospherically shot Hammeresque tale of a dead uncle and his castle (inherited by the striking Erna Schurer) features colorful sets, a whispering, black clad villain, a good dog…but no doll. or Satan. but we do have a charming jukebox dancing scene, a creepy Jeannette, a howlingly sexy Lucia Bomez as the governess and a great roadside brawl. mostly diverting but hardly essential giallo. 3/5
La Belle et la Bete/Beauty and the Beast 1946
Cocteau’s gorgeously photographed version of the classic fairy tale is by far the best I’ve ever seen. so much to love! the spooky castle was beyond great, the forest scenes, especially those set at night, were particularly beautiful. pure magic. 4.5/5
La caduta degli dei (Götterdämmerung)/The Damned 1969
lavish oscar winning telling of WW2 Germany thru the eyes of a wealthy family who mirror their country’s collapse into fascism. the increasingly unseemly script contrasts with the high production values and the over (and under) acting supporting cast to keep the tone off kilter and the decadence on full display. long, slow, shrill and as grotesque as it sounds. not my thing but beautifully made. 2/5
La casa de las muertas vivientes aka The Night of the Scorpion 1972
(dubbed washed out print off tubi) a widower brings his new bride back to the old manse but the rest of his family is weird too in this well shot but dull Spanish/Italian mystery. a great house, weird nude scenes, a teetotaller agenda and a lovely Alicia Tomas help pass the time. with Daniela Giordano. 2.5/5
La casa della paura aka The Girl In Room 2a 1974
incomprehensible music permeates this well shot, colorful Euro trash that’s too tame despite its sadistic touches. an a-hole in red who sacrifices young women with his cult buddies goes for the recently paroled Daniela Giordano. ultimately it’s a fairly boring mystery that teases with a bit of sleaze and some red paint. 2.5/5
La Casa Esta Vacia/The House Was Empty 1945
directed by Carlos Schlieper, it’s a tale of an abandoned house and the stories it contains. after causing a tragedy as a child, Carlos can’t let go of the past but life goes on. a Chilean film directed by an Argentine, the print I watched was very poor and the auto generated subs less than ideal, making it sometimes seem much older than it is. beautiful sets and atmospheric shadows and lighting cry out for a restored version. 3/5
La chute de la maison Usher/Fall of the House of Usher 1928
surreal silent from 1928 by French director Jean Epstein uses darkness, smoke, forced perspectives and more to create a dreamlike tale. candles, flames and nightmarish images make this lots of spooky fun if you’ve got the patience as it ain’t Corman. I imagine viewers of the era would’ve been pretty scared by some scenes. this version had color tints and imo better music than what I gather was the original. a worth-it strange hour and change. 3.5/5
Lady, Stay Dead 1981
more low budget Terry Bourke Australian misogynist horror, here featuring a dimwitted, ground humping landscaper/rapist/murderer. grim and unpleasant in spades but too often dull despite the proceedings. Bourke’s wackos aren’t subtle, and this one’s quite resourceful with his bombs and his guns and his chainsaw. a fun bit of over the top mayhem if you keep your expectations low and your tolerance for schlock high. 2/5
La endemoniada/Demon Witch Child 1975
Italian “Exorcist” ripoff is entertainingly inferior but ugly/daring enough to disgust on its own. still, I have to wonder how the man who made some of the “Blind Dead” movies could be so clueless about mood lighting and musical scores. some of the more direct rip off moments would’ve been more effective if they were cut better. if you can enjoy this distasteful outing for what it is, there are several breathtakingly beautiful actresses in it to soften the blow 3/5
La fine del mondo nel nostro solito letto in una notte piena di pioggia aka A Night Full Of Rain 1978
very well photographed but unconvincing and stagey look at a communist male and a feminist female who argue their way into longterm relationship issues. fantastic locations and gorgeous compositions help offset the speech heavy, clumsy script. with Candice Bergen and Giancarlo Giannini 2.5/5
La gatta in calore/The Cat In Heat 1972
not stylish Italian mystery about a couple dealing with a corpse on their property isn’t exciting either as much of the film is in the form of flashbacks or scenes that lead nowhere. it’s flatly filmed with poorly lit night scenes and plays like an alternately silly and sordid cautionary tale for bored housewives about the dangers of hippie freaks. nap inducing despite the drugged out “orgy.” 2/5
The Lair Of The White Worm 1990
Ken Russell channels Cronenberg in this campy weirdfest that centers on a serpent succubus. and nylons. some “Altered States” mtv fx haven’t aged well but there are plenty of other Russell hallmarks and terrific setpieces. with Hugh Grant and Amanda Donohoe. 3/5
La llamada/The Call 1966
Spanish/US production is a slowburn spooky love story about a man whose great love may no longer be among the living. tho a bit like a b+w tv movie, it has plenty of atmosphere due to good use of locations, effective lighting and moody day and nighttime outdoor scenes. with a lil too much theremin and the stunning Dyanik Zurakowska. promises, promises. 3/5
La llamada del sexo 1977
filmed in Italy, this Spanish Mexican production at least has the gorgeous trio of Rossy Mendoza, Claudia Gravy and Veronica Miriel going for it. and that’s about it, other than a philandering husband with the least erotic seduction attempt ever (which somehow works) followed by the equally de-stimulating tryst, a weird drug/bar scene, psychic premonitions(?) and incest. some attempts at local color fail due to inadequate audio, the fairly varied locations are not well utilized, it’s all poorly lit, too slowly paced and the sleaze feels icky and unearned. I did chuckle at the terrible “fall down the stairs” death and there were a scant few moments of atmosphere that managed a low budget horror quality. and don’t feel too bad for Carlos- even as he lay dying he saw such wonderful things! 2.5/5 for the ladies
La lupa mannara/Werewolf Woman 1976
(dubbed version off plex) disturbing and sleazy Italian craziness has terrifying narration leading us to a wolfwoman who looks more in danger than dangerous before she chows down on her pursuer and then dances naked for all to enjoy. what follows is one of the oddest doctor consults I’ve ever seen but there are plenty of wtf moments to come in this wackorama: ghostly ancestors, psychotic delusions, a truly insane on multiple levels girl-girl scene, and a randy lizard. somehow both derivative and unique, it’s definitely disgusting and enjoyable enough in a lurid if silly way. still, you gotta wonder exactly who this icky, rapey horror flick was made for as it has nothing to say about mental illness other than it can be exploited if you brand it “revenge.” imo titular star Annik Borel looks way better human than wolf but how did costar Dagmar Lassander feel about the opening titles? an I should know better 3/5
La madriguera/Honeycomb 1969
strange movie about a strange woman who may or may not be terrifically unstable and the husband who perhaps only indulges her but it’s entirely possible he’s not running on all cylinders either. sometimes she dreams things, sometimes he dreams things… with these two it’s otherwise impossible to tell. if not for another go for broke performance from Geraldine Chaplin, who slips from childlike innocence to psychotic manipulation faster than the eye can see, the film would suffer from its own strangeness: effective but off putting tonal shifts, a meta narrative with not one but two unreliable narrators, very deliberate use of silence and whispers… it can be a bit much. Chaplin’s highs are as infectious as her lows are not. the games married people play? all I know is I wouldn’t want to be their marriage counselor. 2.5/5
La Maladicion de la bestia aka Night of the Howling Beast 1975
another Naschy hombre de lobo role here in search of a yeti. mostly competent yet shoddy affair with plastic skeletons and fangs, goofy “horror” and cheap gore fx. it’s almost like the makers piggybacked onto another, bigger budget film shoot nearby and just shot some footage of Belushi Naschy walking around. it’s fun enough tho in a late nite tv way and at least the wolfman looks fairly menacing this time although the big “showdown” is less than wonderful. with some nice locations and the fetching Veronica Miriel. 2.5/5
La marca del hombre lobo aka Frankenstein’s Bloody Terror 1968
mostly high production values and terrific sets and locations dress up this otherwise goofy tale of a cursed wolfman who’s revived (and killed) and some vampire scientists and some chatty old guys playing pool and a second wolf man… but no Frankenstein. it’s almost two films in one- a rote gothic “thriller” with excellent cinematography and an almost experimental low budget shocker that’s too timid to go for broke. there’s a great intro at a train station and a neato transformation scene but the pacing is uneven at best. Naschy plays the hombre lobo (a role he would repeat) so if you know him you know what you’re getting here. while I can’t say I’m much of a fan this one was weird enough to be watchable if not bad enough to be more entertaining. apparently the American version added a prologue to justify the lack of Frankie despite the re-branding of it as such. 2/5
L’amour humaine 1970
an unfulfilled priest and nun leave the church to become man and woman. they’ve got their work cut out for them, especially in the budoir, but don’t worry: practice makes perfect. strange sort of soap opera that despite the nudity and frankness is too timid to be more than a softcore/made for tv romance. with Louise Marleau and Jacques Riberolles. 2.5/5
La mano che nutre la morte/The Hand That Feeds The Dead aka Evil Face 1974
Klaus Kinski stars as a mad scientist trying to reskin his disfigured wife in this not good international production. he’s his usual weird self, there’s plenty of red paint, an interesting laboratory, a lumbering henchman and the ladies are attractive. it’s mostly well shot with good sets and locations; the color is fine if a bit muted in spots. the darker lit scenes have an agreeable horror tone but there are no scares to be found, just lots of unconvincing surgical “gore.” 2.5/5
L’année dernière à Marienbad/Last Year At Marienbad 1961
spooky French psycho drama from Alain Resnais is absolutely gorgeous to look at with arresting compositions and versatile lighting. set in a hotel/memory/alternate universe, characters float in and out of the layered narrative like fireflies. it’s easy to call this a precursor to “The Shining” in its dreamy timelessness, its hallway tracking shots, its ghostly guests and living, breathing estate setting. a horror film without the horror (or without much horror anyway) 3/5
La noche de los asesinos/Night of the Assassins 1974
one step forward, one half step back Franco mystery about someone in a skull mask offing relatives gathered for a will reading. so meh it’s not funny- literally, as there were no laughs at all. which is fine for a thriller with a fairly high body count. what’s not fine is how mediocre it all is. what could’ve been sadistic was reticent; what should’ve been creepy was ruined by an ineffective score, and the aforementioned mask lost its menace seen once too often. otoh, there was quite a bit of atmospheric photography even if the script sucked the life out of it and a few of the kills were well staged and lit. overall too talky with too little suspense. 2/5
La noche de los brujos/Night of the Sorcerers 1974
another only average film limps toward its welcome cessation after a poorly paced/awesome intro in Ossorio’s toothless voodoo horror. a crew ventures into the African jungle sixty years after a bloody ritual (because everything is scarier in the past) and encounter resurrected natives. it’s part beach softcore cheapie, part groovy shlock with an inconsistent (and often hilarious) score, plenty of nudity and blood, and a few nicely lit scenes but ultimately not good for much but the belle donne. flaccid and dull. 2/5
La orgía de los muertos aka The Hanging Woman aka Beyond the Living Dead 1973
well photographed but hardly essential Spanish/Italian gothic about a village with a corpse problem. it’s a bit of a throwback with atmosphere ala earlier Hammer films, some nudity, good zombie makeup but very little gore. a slow moving mystery with an annoying lead that becomes more horror as it goes. beautiful local scenery and Naschy as a weirdo gravedigger. 2.5/5
La pasion segun Berenice/The Passion of Berenice 1976
Mexican psychological drama about a lonely widow and the doctor who comes into her life. this is an odd film that reveals itself in small doses, giving us glimpses into each of the main characters’ darker sides through intelligent dialog. the shocker ending may have only been symbolic but it still made me do a double take. starring Martha Navarro; directed by Jaime Humberto Hermosillo. 3/5
La passion de Jeanne d’Arc 1928
(81min restored version) Dreyer’s amazingly filmed account of the ugly and cruel trial and murder of nineteen year old Joan of Arc by so called learned men of god acting in their own best interests. convicted of that old standby heresy, her humanity and devotion are on raw display throughout, painting her not as a saint or hero but as a troubled young woman up against insurmountable politics. putting the viewer in the almost first person pov makes for a harrowing experience- it’s hard to believe this is almost a century old. powerful and moving. 4/5
La Peau Douce/The Soft Skin 1964
famous author with a family and a roving eye meets a stewardess who becomes his raison d’etre to the detriment of his personal and professional life. what’s that about a woman scorned? sacre bleu! with an altogether pervy scene involving a sleeping Francoise Dorleac. 3/5
La Prisonniere aka Woman In Chains 1968
Henri-Georges Clouzot directs this psychological drama centered on the bored wife of an artist who discovers her kinky side with a weird photographer. head games and sexual power struggles follow as she finds herself more deeply enslaved even as she is seemingly liberated. she is editing a documentary about women in abusive relationships which, coupled with her husband’s infidelity, causes her to explore a world she doesn’t really want or simply isn’t in a place to enjoy. seems she just wants love and her spite-male of choice is a manchild who sees women in the same way whether thru a lens or in his arms: sometimes pretty, sometimes frustrating, but never as anything other than a piece of abstract art to be admired and then put away. women are not depicted well in this film but the men don’t come off so hot either so it’s a wash. visually striking with colorful sets and abstract compositions including a psychedelic dream sequence and finale that border on horror. 3/5
La residencia aka The House That Screamed 1969
(a lousy, faded print with all kinds of sound issues off tubi) classic exploitation with lots of gothic atmosphere so the awful print didn’t dampen my enjoyment one bit. a sadistic headmistress and her retinue of sadists in training keep the residents (more like prisoners) of an all girl boarding school in line with violence and humiliation, not to mention an unscalable wall and iron gate! supposedly there is an uncut version out there with some extended creepiness involving the headmistress’ voyeur son and other girls-being-girls “highlights.” way more sleazy than I was expecting 3/5
La rose ecorchee/The Blood Rose 1969
this equally dreamlike and ineffective twist on “Les yeux sans visage” features gimmicky camerawork, bad makeup fx, needless narration, (at least) one very weird “sex” scene, little people murderers and beaucoup pretty ladies. there are film watching parties where robes are donned and uncomfortably familiar hoods are worn. there are great locations and mostly excellent photography with a fairly good score. what there’s far too little of is any horror or suspense. still, it’s nice to look at and as a mystery with some surreal touches and fantasy leanings it’s not terrible if poorly paced and a bit silly. 2.5/5
La rossa dalla pelle che scotta/The Red Headed Corpse aka The Sensuous Doll 1972
(dubbed) another Farley Granger weirdity, this time with Erika Blanc as his sexy model. or a mannequin he (and everyone else) thinks is sexy. whichever, he’s a painter who seems normal but sometimes odd music starts playing and then he seems kinda scary. convoluted Italian/Turkish wackjob boasts plenty of nice sets and varied locations but much of it plays like soap opera or farce and it’s too slow despite all the skin. definitely different but no fun and with only a morsel of suspense and a terrible denouement it’s hardly worthwhile. 2/5
La route de Salina/The Road To Salina 1970
a mother and daughter mistake a stranger for their son and brother in this French mystery. I didn’t like the flashback format but beautiful photography, a twisty plot and an eclectic soundtrack kept things interesting. 3/5
La sirene du Mississippi/Mississippi Mermaid 1969
Truffaut’s gorgeously shot murder mystery concerning a bride who’s not who she claims to be and her husband’s existential search for the truth. sexually frank (with an objectified Catherine Deneuve) and well written and acted, it’s a twisty, stylish love story at heart. 3/5
Las mujeres panteras/The Panther Women 1967
(poorly dubbed but otherwise vg b+w print off tubi) wild mix of comedy, men’s/women’s wrestling, ancestral curses, superhero derring-do and the occult is funny for the wrong reasons but enjoyable enough to work anyway. lots of “brawls” in and out of the ring (mostly just women flipping each other and cuts of people throwing punches), too much exposition, dubbing that sounds like a well meaning fanclub and an insufferable “comic relief” character were minuses. otoh, a neat crypt-set resurrection, good production design, plenty of moody nighttime scenes and a fairly brisk pace make up for it. si, estupido but not too bad. 2.5/5
La sorciere aka The Blonde Witch 1956
very enjoyable fantasy about a man who falls under the spell of a mysterious young beauty villagers have labeled a witch. their blossoming romance is as charming as their opposition is ugly. a few genuinely creepy moments, cute animals, gorgeous scenery and an ambiguous narrative make this a winner. Marina Vlady is terrific as la sorciere. 3.5/5
Last Embrace 1979
paranoid thriller with Roy Scheider as a grieving secret agent convinced he’s being targeted. lots of shouting and Roy being unpleasant. filmed in that late ’70s dull, flat style that matches the proceedings. middling would-be noir with good use of locations and a few twists. 2.5/5
La strega in amore aka The Witch 1966
(dubbed) strange spooker about a roving playboy who tracks an old woman to a house of mystery only to find himself entranced by an enigmatic young beauty. makes great use of the run down mansion in which it’s mostly set with creative lighting and great gothic atmosphere. some creepy moments and clever staging round out this neat thriller. 3/5
The Late Show 1977
stylish throwback mystery features a great cast including Art Carney and Lily Tomlin as a retired gumshoe and his latest client. good but not great as it relies too much on Tomlin’s flustered, tongue-tied “Laugh In” routine and the conclusion is a bit rushed. would’ve made a pretty good tv show. with Bill Macy and Joanna Cassidy. 3/5
La tia Alejandra/Aunt Alejandra 1979
pull no punches thriller about an aunt who overstays her welcome has the feel of a tv movie or a filmed stageplay but that’s ok. this mean little slow burner directed by Arturo Ripstein will have you hooked right from the get go with a tight script, a terrific hacienda and an explosive climax. physical harm surrounds everyone and no one is immune. featuring blatant child endangerment, some creepy ass puppets and the world’s worst luggage, “Alejandra” will have you in stitches (or in the grave!) 3/5
La tua presenza nuda! aka What the Peeper Saw 1972
the always fetching Britt Ekland and the often creepy Mark Lester (here with some strategically placed rubber duckies) star in this cat and mouse tale of just how rotten is this kid? and while we’re at it what’s wrong with the adults? I enjoyed it for the sleaze quotient but ymmv. the twisted script, groovy clothes, a mostly effective score and an uber scary visit to the shrink keep things interesting and fun. 3.5/5
La torre de los siete jorobados/Tower of the Seven Hunchbacks 1944
neat old winner about a man who befriends a ghost with a mission for him: rescue his niece from an underground city. well written and (mostly) directed mystery with likeable performers, spooky shadows and impressive sets and cool vfx like spirits coming and going thru mirrors. suffers from inconsistent lighting but that may have been the print. a bit slow in spots but otherwise really good and definitely worth a look. 3.5/5
Laughter In Paradise 1951
Alastair Sim shines in this comedy about an infamous practical joker whose passing brings his greedy relatives sniffing after an inheritance. but claiming their shares comes at a price- each must perform a difficult task. I liked Sim’s attempts best- “Why not pop off and burgle someone else?” beautifully photographed and very funny, with a few lines from young Audrey Hepburn. 4/5
La visita del vicio/The Coming of Sin 1978
Jose Ramon Larraz’s strange and strangely erotic tale of an isolated woman who finds herself a menagerie of new friends is fairly well shot if a bit too reliant on soft focus sexiness. speaking of sexy, I could’ve done without the naked guy on the horse but Lidia Zuazo, who looks great in a buttoned down shirt, has weird dreams about him so it’s a wash. tons of local atmosphere adds little and too much of what counts for passion is lacking. mildly diverting, it’s lite on mystery with no tension or menace despite the proceedings. 2.5/5
Leave Her To Heaven 1945
(off youtube) a writer meets a beautiful ugly woman and finds tragedy in Maine. starring Gene Tierney and Cornel Wilde, this romantic thriller is too conventional and melodramatic to rise above soap opera level despite the content and a brisk courtroom finale. some beautiful locations and cinematography and while sharp with good contrast, the print was often washed out and flat giving it a colorized look (apparently it was released in 3d). with Vincent Price and Ray Collins. I’d rather have seen a movie about Richard and Ruth’s love affair. a very weak 3/5
Le casse aka The Burglars 1971
long, lighthearted crime caper about a persistent policeman chasing a gang of jewel thieves. it’s stylish and diverting and looks very good with excellent color and lighting but only mildly exciting. features an awesome briefcase, a hilariously bizarre “sex club” and groovy music. with Dyan Cannon. a barely there 3/5
Le corbeau 1943
Cluzot co-writes and directs this mystery drama about a doctor who becomes the center of a blackmail campaign. richly drawn characters and good performances keep you engaged thru all the paranoid twists and turns. 3.5/5
Le deuxieme souffle 1966
long French crime drama about an escaped con and a big heist has plenty of cool music and noir shadows. there’s lots of smart talk too, and therein lies the rub- there’s not enough action to balance it all out but I loved the cozy fireside dinner. a slow, world weary 3/5
Le jardin des supplices/Garden of Torment 1976
strange softcore exploitation about a French doctor forced to flee from trouble with the police. he goes all the way to China where he is introduced to an international group of decadent, bloodthirsty aristocrats and witnesses some very odd things that go against his hippocratic oath. with arthouse leanings and some nicely composed exterior shots, it has something to say about oppression and the effects of politics on medical care but it’s too interested in gratuitous nudity and gore, more concerned with cruelty and dildos than coherence or indictments. otoh, it’s too talky and formal to be the truly nightmarish film it could’ve been. meh and yuck- muck. 2/5
Lekce Faust/Faust 1994
Jan Svankmajer directs the bizarre and humorous telling of the devilish legend this time through an underground marionette theater. typically bizarre Svankmajer fare uses stop motion and live action to create unnerving interactions that enhance the already surreal proceedings. I loved the smiling proprietor, the watery bowling sequence, castle grounds and the overall absurdity. 3.5/5
Le locataire/The Tenant 1976
part three of writer director Roman Polanski’s “urban trilogy” is a total mindf#$k that you’ll either hate or love. jaw dropping, goosebump inducing insanity that sees Polanski himself in the role of too-meek-for-this-Earth Trelkovsky who just wants to find a decent place to live. but it would seem the world has other ideas. alternately hilarious, puzzling and terrifying, this is one weird movie if not one of the all time weirdest. 4/5
Le monde tremblera/The World Will Shake 1939
a scientist invents a machine that can accurately predict one’s death date but it’s not the ticket to fame and fortune he’d envisioned. long and slow in spots but a good cast, shadowy sets and fine night time photography make up for it. 3/5
Leonor 1975
(dubbed) Liv Ullman stars as the back from the dead wife of a nobleman who bargained for her resurrection. needless to say there are consequences. the film is as scary as a box of cereal but did feature some beautiful locations and cinematography. Ullman looks ethereal and typically gorgeous in this fairly brutal historical fantasy directed by Juan Luis Bunuel. with the stunning Ornella Muti. a dreamy 3/5
The Leopard Man 1945
gorgeously photographed and well written with a great cast, this Lewton-produced mystery is a treat for the eyes. maybe a scene or two too long but the procession sequence makes up for it. and ooh those shadows! 4/5
Le orme aka Footprints On the Moon 1975
bizarre Italian ?sci fi giallo? psychological mystery is both frustrating and intriguing in equal measure. a woman suffering from lunar nightmares finds herself smack dab in the middle of a murder. is it a complex coverup or all a delusion? fascinating denouement muddies the water considerably. 3/5
Le roman de Renard/The Story of the Fox 1930
simply dazzling early example of stop motion that’s very clever and very funny too. loosely based on Reynard the Fox, this French language creation of Ladislas and Irene Starewicz at only an hour long is a delight on every imaginable level. from ultra expressive characters to wonderfully realized indoor and outdoor sets and vistas to an intelligent script we are taken on a charming journey. instead of coming across as clunky and dated the almost century old movements are as slow or speedy as they need to be in this nonstop joyride of a film. short and sweet, it’s a must see for fans of the form. 5/5
Les abysses/The Depths 1963
strikingly photographed and terrifically weird study of two mad servants and their deadbeat employers locked in a power struggle. based on real events, it’s the working class vs the bourgeois; the haves vs the have nots. stagey, shrill, at turns fascinating, hypnotic and eerie, it’s an oddity that either overstays its welcome or leads you into depravity and madness. with hints of “Spider Baby.” Francine Berge c’est tres belle. 3/5
Les anges du peche/Angels of Sin 1943
a young convert is taken in when her convent takes in an ex convict. the film talks of pride, sacrifice and redemption in smart, almost theatrical settings that are well photographed (if a bit soft) in b+w. utilizes effective lighting as the bright interiors of the convent contrast with the outside world. a fine cast deliver good performances in an excellent drama that avoids being melodramatic. smoothly directed by Robert Bresson. 3.5/5
Les Cousines aka The French Cousins aka From Ear To Ear 1970
gaudy and mean spirited French(?) curiosity about a highly dysfunctional family and the ill treatment of their cousin Lucia (and that’s putting it mildly). the film tries hard to be lewd and shocking but is mostly dull and insincere despite a drunken sex party that crosses all the lines. it does have its dark charms: some humorous moments of over the top cruelty, the (typical of the era/genre) odd looking cast of characters and often inappropriate music, the aforementioned party and a low budget strangeness that matches up nicely with similar U.S. fare. the print I saw was faded so everyone had a wonderful mannequin complexion and those old school color schemes fairly melted into the background. certainly twisted but way too much time wasted not being the horror film it could’ve been. 1.5/5
Les Jeux de la Comtesse Dolingen de Gratz/The Games of Countess Dolingen 1981
tragic French fantasy with Carol Kane is an extremely strange film. it’s apparently based on two different sources and in fact seems to be two different films in one. a heartbroken young girl with a terrible family life commits suicide… or is it only the events in a novel? when the unfulfilled character of Ms. Kane reads aloud the novel for its author, she seems to be injecting herself into the role of the troubled young girl. there are other mixes of one world overlapping into another- although the events are taking place in what looks like contemporary times, there is often much older music playing which recalls days long gone. the past and present, as well as reality and fantasy, become interchangeable. often intangible, it was hardly a rewarding experience. I was also cursed with the worst srt file in history so just getting thru this was a chore and a half- I wish I could say it was worth it, but I haven’t the slightest idea wth this movie was trying to be. filled with adults and children doing ugly things and a young girl too sensitive to fit in with anyone, it was ultimately sad and unsatisfying. 2/5
Le soleil des voyous aka Action Man 1961
French bank heist yarn about a rich cafe owner who decides to pull his dream job when he’s reunited with an old partner in crime. alas, nothing ever goes as planned. Jean Gabin and Robert Stack and a great soundtrack make it go down easy. a non essential 3/5
Lesviakos avgoustos/Lesbian August 1974
(4:3) melodramatic Greek lovefest about a fisherman’s fling and how it disrupts lives around him. the titular trysts are ok but it’s not erotic so much as wallowing in its own raciness. directed by Errikos Andreou, it’s got strange music and a sleazy soap opera vibe as it slinks toward an info-dump police station finale. with the stunning Katia Dandoulaki and Joanna Papa. 2.5/5
Les yeux sans visage/Eyes Without A Face 1960
Georges Franju directs this terrific horror thriller about an insane surgeon trying to give his disfigured daughter a new face. trouble is these new faces are still attached to living women! from the underground operating room to the barking dogs to that creepy mask, this is one fantastic piece of work. 4/5
Liebelei aka Playing At Love 1933
an overwhelmed soldier falls for a singer in this German tragedy of young love from Max Ophuls. the soldier’s friend protesting the barbarity of the duel he is asked to second is a highlight. sad and funny with minimal drag and well shot in varied locations. 3/5
The Lighthouse 2019
gross, spooky and surreal chamber play based on true events concerns two lighthouse keepers stranded during a months long storm season. perfectly realized old time atmosphere including unsettling sound design and music add to the horror feel. are the men slowly cracking up or is reality a figment of one’s imagination? a bit of “Vargtimmen” in the question of whether psychosis is contagious. if nothing else may make you cross “spending a night in a lighthouse” off your bucket list. a freaky weird 4/5
Lightyear 2022
gorgeously animated backstory of Buzz no one asked for (well I didn’t anyway) details the pros and cons of hyperspeed travel and the importance of the mission. or your goals. or just which toys to buy. fun and effective despite itself. or maybe the algorithm is working. do I sound jaded? the fact that it kept me mostly engaged is proof of something. 3/5
The Lineup 1958
after a whiz-bang start, things slow down considerably in this police drama about heroin on the streets of San Francisco. speaking of, though well written this plays mostly like a b+w tv movie despite the body count. otoh, the performances are good as are the locations, especially the museum. 3/5
Lisa Lisa aka Axe 1977
despicable killers hole up in the house of a strange young woman and her invalid grandfather. a great opening title sequence, some sleaze, an oddly compelling and quite lovely lead, some truly despicable axe fodder… what went wrong? well, there’s no real script, no real gore, and the ending is rushed. but mostly it’s the missed opportunities: the grandpa, the house itself, any sense of tension or impending doom… too much time spent with the inevitable victims instead of the much more interesting Lisa. but it’s not a total loss. the schlock is strong with this one. it’s yucky if not outright gross, disturbing but kinda goofy (that fatal beating was pretty hilarious) and weird enough to keep you entertained. I liked it because I love low budget ’70s horror movies and this one is that. and bleak, too. plus all that red paint! if you’re craving ’70s drive-in crap, it will do just fine. just don’t expect too much. 2.5/5
Little Miss Innocence 1973
before “Knock Knock,” before “Death Game,” there was this, easily the sleaziest of the bunch. two young female hitchhikers give a middle-aged music producer a hard time. plenty of skin, unerotic sex and amateur hour performances in what’s basically cheap, groovy exploitation that turns dark and trippy for an unsatisfying climax. what a way to go. 1.5/5
Little Murders 1971
as much as I love NY, 1970s movies, and 1970s movies about NY, unlike the films of Allen, Scorcese, Simon or even DePalma, I got zero sense of either NY or the 1970s from this absurdist offering. maybe it worked better onstage. it seemed more like a stereotypical caricature or an unauthentic homage made by an outsider. fairly exhausting attempt at black comedy picks up a bit during the surreal “meet the family” dinner, the wedding and Lou Jacobi’s ranting judge scenes. makes the great NY movies seem that much more well done by comparison. with a very good Elliot Gould, Vincent Gardenia, Donald Sutherland and a preposterous Alan Arkin, who also directs. disappointing but not a total loss. 2.5/5
Long Men Kezhan aka Dragon Inn 1967
violent action fantasy written and directed by King Hu that’s more swordplay than wordplay concerns traveling masters squaring off against many, many baddies in 1960’s widescreen. dazzling if ridiculous martial arts fun that’s either your cup of oolong tea or isn’t. I mean how many swordfights can one sit thru? my answer: not this many. still, it’s well made, the photography and locations are good and the cast is impressive. my fav subtitle: “you don’t look like a eunuch.” 2.5/5 but ymmv
Looker 1981
Albert Finney, James Coburn and Susan Dey star in this decent thriller that still works despite some concepts and vfx that haven’t aged well. written and directed by Michael Crichton, the story makes less sense the more you think about it and at least one of the kills reminded me of Argento. an ’80s synth soundtrack suits the sci fi aspects while the cast is solid. style, dark humor, cool if slightly clunky future tech and some real lookers help it all go down easy. 3/5
Love With the Proper Stranger 1964
Paul Newman and Natalie Wood shine as a sloppy womanizer trying to do right by a stifled saleswoman in this touching, humorous and never cloying romantic drama directed by Robert Mulligan. both Newman and Wood are from overbearing families; both are unhappy with their lives; both have made mistakes. the unsentimental script also takes a cold look at the reality of backroom medicine. well shot and the entire supporting cast is terrific. they don’t make ’em like this anymore. 4/5
The Loving Touch aka The Psycho Lover 1969
Robert Vincent O’Neill written, produced and directed low budget weirdness about a strangler rapist and his shrink. this is a very unpleasant film, low budget or not. it’s squalid, despite or because of its awareness. it’s hyper violent and sleazy but over the top goofy too, bordering on parody. it’s nauseating with one of those movie rapes where the victim eventually enjoys the attack. there’s a game show score, plenty of foxy ladies and tender lovemakin’ to go along with the more disturbing segments. for what it is, most of it is decently filmed but the script and performances are schlock central. about the only thing Mr. O’Neill didn’t do is sing, probably because a Gary LeMel sings three songs in this one hour and twenty minute movie. that’s one song every twenty six minutes. he should’ve had more songs. 2/5
Lucifer’s Women aka Doctor Dracula 1974
a heavily made-up reincarnation of Svengali (played by Larry Hankin) who works in a seedy stripclub has to procure souls in this no budget softcorn. when Svengali isn’t trying to push his eyeballs out of his head he’s played like a world weary tv college professor. packed with great dialog, rampant cocaine use and fourth rate performances, there’s wall to wall nudity, Bobo, hand drawn porn and highly questionable music but alas no horror unless you count the baphomet rape scene. recalling Lewis and even Troma, while admittedly entertaining there’s gotta be something better to watch. 2/5

M

Macario 1960
fantastic Mexican fantasy about a poor family and their father who dreams of a chance to be a glutton for once. he gets his wish and is visited by three apparitions before acquiring a true money making formula. this wonderful Bergman-esque tale is beautifully filmed, dark and humorous. 4.5/5
Macchie solari aka Autopsy 1975
very bizarre and not just a little sleazy, this is one strange beast. after a truly jarring and disturbing opening I was expecting more and was ultimately let down by the lack of explanation for the ?sci fi? plot points. I was hoping for a more supernatural element to this but mostly enjoyed it, though it’s far from perfect and maybe a bit too complicated for its own good. 2.5/5
Mad God 2021
although I respect Phil Tippet and his work and even admired the technical achievement here I can’t imagine I would ever want to see it again. it’s very bleak and disturbing. yes that’s the point I guess, but it’s also why I would never watch it again. it also seemed meandering and just too ugly for me. 2/5
Mad Love 1935
Peter Lorre stars in this Karl Freund directed take on Renard’s 1920 “Les Mains D’Orlac” that’s suspenseful and well filmed with experimental camera work and shadowy sets. a bit forced and the rushed ending doesn’t help but most everything else is terrific. lots of creepy moments but the highlight has to be a whispering Lorre in his Rollo disguise. with Colin Clive and a so-so Frances Drake. 4/5
The Mad Magician 1954
Vincent Price plays a frustrated magician (what else) seeking revenge in this slight but enjoyable shocker. he uses his deadly stage contraptions to eliminate those who would steal them as a determined cop and a mystery writer are closing in. high body count but not much suspense. with Eva Gabor in a small but juicy role. 2.5/5
The Mad Room 1968
Stella Stevens gets custody of her younger siblings when they are released from a mental hospital for murdering their mother in this thriller set in Canada that sure seems British but is apparently American. it’s all wonderfully lurid and melodramatic, captured in that late ’60s style and color with great sets and locations and aside from some intentionally dark scenes looks very good. with Shelly Winters and tv staple/movie-weird-guy Michael Burns. 3/5 if you like this sort of thing.
Mais ne nous délivrez pas du mal/Don’t Deliver Us From Evil 1971
French wannabe shocker that does everything but convince. like the main characters, the filmmakers seem to be only playing at being naughty despite all the unseemliness. it’s tough to say if it’s the direction or the script itself but things just didn’t gel for me. still, it’s an ugly, mean spirited piece of business with a hell of an ending. 2.5/5
Malone 1987
Burt Reynolds is a crooked redneck’s worst enemy as he goes up against an anti government land developer in a small valley community. it’s the nice folk vs. the big bad wolf formula but with Malone on their side the enemy is dropping like flies. although it’s fun to watch Burt kick butt, and it’s always satisfying seeing cretins (however cardboard) get theirs, because Burt is either simmering or exploding we get precious little in the way of planning. one of the most enjoyable things about movies like this is watching the good guy plot his revenge and assemble it weapon by booby trap. here it’s just sit back and watch the ex CIA guy do his thing. not bad but not good either. with Cliff Robertson and Lauren Hutton. 2.5/5
Malpertuis 1971
(119 min version) fantasy mystery of a man returning home who finds himself trapped in his weird dying uncle’s mansion with other odd souls. mostly whispered played by Orson Wells, uncle has seen better days but after getting a look at most of the deathbed vultures sniffing out an inheritance he doesn’t seem so bad. supposedly there are several versions of this- maybe another cut was more horror centric. otherwise, well written, interestingly filmed, good sets, lotsa pretty ladies and an intriguing premise if not riveting execution. 3/5
Manden der tænkte ting/The Man Who Thought Life 1969
sci-fi fantasy from Denmark about a man with a lot on his mind turns dark and is all the better for it imo. a Kafkaesque “Twilight Zone” episode is a pretty good way to describe this. in b+w with great cinematography and some sparse, dramatically lit spaces and unusual camerawork that all add to create a disorienting atmosphere. moves at a brisk pace and keeps you guessing. very good. 4/5
Mandinga 1976
(lousy dubbed 4:3 print) severely inferior Italian “Mandingo” ripoff more interested in sleazy “thrills” than anything else is merely tediously crude. its fine locations are undone by poor camerawork and any attempt at story or characterization is crushed by an ineptly obvious script. this is tell-don’t-show exploitation filmmaking at its dullest. makes the original seem charming and profound by comparison. 1/5
The Man Who Changed His Mind 1936
a chain smoking Karloff is good as a mad brain surgeon in this so very formal British creaker about mind transference. cool sets, tons of shadows and a few creepy moments overcome an inconsistent script. a weak 3/5
The Man Who Never Was 1956
war drama based on the story of operation mincemeat where a dead man acted as a decoy to trick the Germans during WW2. much time is spent on the careful planning to make a convincing identity for the corpse so the fake invasion plans he’s carrying will look more genuine. the ruse may have been a success but the film was too talky, slow paced and procedural to keep me interested. Clifton Webb stars; a shiny Gloria Grahame does well with a small but key role. 2.5/5
The Man With 2 Heads 1972
Andy takes on Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde (barely) with glowing brains, fantastic laboratories and clumsy students. nope: no two headed man but there’s a wonderful transformation, a hideous orgy, some terrific on-the-prowl footage, a bizarre dinner party that plays like a game of musical cameras and for once we finally get some local exterior shots (even if ye olde London was never quite this foggy!) plus a male-female kiss that feels earned and (gasp) believable! if you walked in on some of this you might think you’d stumbled onto an actual movie. this may be the closest I’ve seen yet to real horror from Milligan- it at least approached the genre. (see review for “Carnage”) it was also the cruelest of his I’ve seen so far. along with the normal shoddy camera work is better than usual acting and mostly effective music. there are also some remarkably attractive women including the delightful Gay Feld who sadly has no other film credits. Jekyl’s the juice. better than I was hoping for so only a 2/5
Marebito aka The Stranger From Afar 2004
directed by Takashi Shimizu, it’s a weird tale of a weird guy obsessed with capturing fear on film who decides the answer lies underground. he communicates with spirits and even explores at the mountains of madness, bringing a denizen up to the surface for private study. then things really get weird in between the metaphysical talk of what makes us humans fear. disturbing, Lovecraftian slow burn examination of horrors internal and external. 3/5
Marketa Lazarova 1967
long, grueling drama from Czech director Frantisek Vlacil about revenge and religion during the middle ages is beautiful to look at but hard to watch. bleak and violent. and long. very good but no day at the beach. 3/5
Mary, Mary, Bloody Mary 1975
Mexican tale of a female vampire plays a bit like a giallo and is mostly well shot, bloody and strange. there are some surreal sequences, a few terrific compositions and some effectively lit dark scenes but it all drags too much. it also gave me a bit of a “Witch Who Came From the Sea” vibe at times only not as weird. and just my luck: another movie with a shark being abused. a unique but not very good film. my fav line: “He’s a very unusual looking man.” Cristina Ferrare is by far the best part. 2/5
Mask Of Dimitrios 1944
Peter Lorre and Sydney Greenstreet lead a fine cast in a globe trotting mystery about the facts surrounding a drowned man. it’s clever, amiable enough and fairly well filmed with atmospheric sets but the unnecessarily convoluted flashback structure and shifting pov prevent it from gaining any lasting traction. an imperfect 3/5
Matango aka Attack of the Mushroom People 1963
foreboding narration quickly gives way to jaunty sailing footage with music to match. wait is this sci fi or an Elvis movie? seven passengers onboard a yacht run into bad weather and are lost at sea. they find a seemingly deserted island and then the fun begins. it’s goofy but also played straight enough to maintain its mystery and there are some triiiiiiiipy attack scenes. unfortunately most of the characters are unlikable even before they’re in distress. well shot on excellent sets with great use of misty island locations, this would fit right in with vintage saturday afternoon “Godzilla” tv fare. with a scene that must’ve “inspired” the tv-rarity “Mud Monster/The World Beyond.” Bon apetit! 3/5
Matka Joanna od aniolow/Mother Joan of the Angels 1961
a young priest finds himself in over his head when he is sent to investigate that infamous convent Loudon in the 17th century where either strange things happened or really strange things happened. this Polish historical horror/fantasy takes a literal approach to the events and so what follows is a beautifully photographed slowburn spookfest. while certainly on the tamer side of the nunsploitation genre (being not only an early example but also based on actual events) it easily gives the willies when it wants to. the scenes with the peasants in the tavern as well as the dramatic tete-a-horns were Bergman-esque in both their photography and in their nuanced construction. on the surface they seem unglamorous or simply natural but that organic quality is carefully manufactured. a terrific film. 4.5/5
Mechte navstrechu/Encounter In Space aka A Dream Come True 1963
likely influential with ahead of its time visuals, fantastic sets and lighting elevate this optimistic Russian sci fi about a love song and friendly aliens. we get terrific views of Martian surfaces using every optical trick under the sun, most if not all of them quite effectively. colorful and creative, this is real deal old school “lost gem” groundbreaking, genre defining stuff with cool miniatures, interesting costumes and sound design, and tons of vintage spaceship computer doodads. I wasn’t a fan of the songs but, short and sweet as can be, it’s an easy 3.5/5 for the neato factor alone.
Meng long zheng dong aka Superdragon vs. Superman aka Bruce Lee Against Supermen 1975
(lousy re-filmed, dubbed print off plex) with Bruce Li (not Lee) as Bruce Lee and Kato (to a red Green Hornet to boot!), welcome to ripoff cash-in central. Li isn’t too bad but this is cheap, low grade stuff that’ll make your engine sputter and your exhaust belch out noxious fumes. good locations, mildly decent fight scenes, a hilarious red headed tough guy who looks like a “Cheers” extra and his Woody Allen lookalike flunkie, cool music (including lots of ELP for some reason, playing too quietly as if they hoped no one would notice) and the giggling, plate throwing mimes are among the bright spots but there are tons of dull spots too. my fav lines: “I need me a real good sharpshooter” and “Ten thousand cash, ten nice girls and a truckfull of booze.” 2.5/5 for the laughs
The Menu 2022
weird, funny story of people you want to see harmed who attend an exclusive high priced dining experience. plenty of laughs as things are wacky right from the get go and take ever darkening turns but it’s all or nothing for the viewer- either you’re in or you’re out. I was in, but I love Monty Python and their twisted brilliance as well as their commitment to the bit. I mention Python because I was reminded of the skit where a murder investigation turns into an endless recitation of train schedules which only makes sense when the author of the skit turns out to be a demented railroad enthusiast. this movie seems to have been written by either a burned out chef or food critic but if you’re hungry for a black comedy this one will fill you up despite its questionable “moral compass.” 3.5/5
Messer im Kopf/Knife In the Head 1978
after being shot in the head at a police raid, an amnesiac is labeled a dangerous radical. German comedy drama details his rehab and police’s attempts to arrest him, all set against a backdrop of youth protests. possibly more culturally relevant in its day, it’s still fairly enjoyable as an affecting, absurdist political drama. 3/5
Mientras duermes/Sleep Tight 2011
psychotic a-hole stalks (and much worse) a woman in this Spanish shocker. oh and he’s being blackmailed by another wonderful member of society. very uncomfortable scenes will get your pulse racing if not your stomach turning. tense, cruel and twisted. 3/5
Milano odia: la polizia non può sparare aka Almost Human 1974
Henry Silva chases degenerate killers in this semi effective Italian crime drama. yes you’ll hate the vicious thugs but you won’t care much for the chase as too much time is spent trying to go over the line. which they do. strident and tedious. 1.5/5
The Mind of Mr. Soames 1970
Terence Stamp plays a man born in a coma and kept alive for thirty years who is medically awakened as an adult sized infant. his education takes up a lot of screentime, as do the two doctors and their opposing methods. shades of “Charly” and even a bit of “Frankenstein” in the sympathy generated. otoh, watching Mr. Stamp run around in a pink onesie kept reminding me of Elmer Fudd when he got Bugs to switch places with him. seemed a long way to go to get where they got but terrific exterior night time photography, especially the country road accident scene and the manhunt on the bog, sure did help. with a bearded Robert Vaughn. 3/5
Mio caro assassino/My Dear Killer 1972
(dubbed version) after an amazing start, iron clad reasoning leads detectives to a trail of corpses and offbeat characters spewing verbal gold. I don’t know if the original language version would’ve been nearly as entertaining- the dubbed performances were often miles over the top. a fairly weak giallo greatly enhanced by some shockingly bad dubbing, it’s unintentionally hilarious. for that reason alone an easy 4/5 but ymmv.
Mirage 1965
Gregory Peck finds himself in a TZ episode as a man who may not exist directed by Edward Dmytryk with plenty of paranoid twists and some humor too. it mostly looks great, the NYC locations are well used and the story keeps you guessing but the preachy idealism of the payoff disappoints. Walter Matthau and Diane Baker costar. 3/5
Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning (part one) 2023
long penultimate entry is gorgeous to look at with great use of locations and of course the highest stakes yet: a device that can rule the world. or destroy it. whatever. people chase other people, shoot other people, and stab other people for it. lots of trains and running. tons of exciting set pieces but the action is sometimes strident and how much running and driving around do you need? a good cast does well. 3.5/5
Miss Leslie’s Dolls 1973
after a hysterical and gloomy opener, one marvels at the glorious insanity that is “Miss Leslie’s Dolls.” four geniuses run out of gas in a cemetery and seek shelter in a nearby farmhouse during a totally convincing thunderstorm. ok, it’s too easy to rip this apart but the reason I watched it was to be entertained and heaven help me was I ever! this is one goofy weirdfest that’s juuuuuuuuuuust barely creepy enough to work. featuring courageous casting, unbelievable music, oodles of red paint, dialog that would be bizarre when delivered in a conventional manner let alone in this one, and a muy caliente Marcelle Bichette. the riveting oddness carries you through the slowest sections and the third act is too great to be real. and yet it is real. terribly, head-scratchingly real. I do believe Ed Wood would’ve approved. 4/5 if you’re like me (and if you are, you have my condolences) otherwise 1.5/5
Miss muerte aka The Diabolical Dr. Z 1966
(dubbed) America had “Dr. Strangelove” so France and Spain had Dr. Zimmer, a sort of Euro Peter Sellers by way of Christopher Lloyd’s Doc Brown as a sicko scientist though the film is mostly about his daughter. directed and co written by Jesus Franco, it’s an effectively strange, illucid mix of horror and thriller that needn’t apologize for its low budget. with nice exteriors, a freaky lab and a few experimental moments, it’s also satisfyingly perverse with some compelling b+w photography. there are several haunting images and dreamlike moments drenched in shadows; despite serious pacing issues it’s easily the best of his I’ve seen so far. 3/5
Moju aka Blind Beast 1969
out-of-its-mind shocker from Yasuzô Masumura tells the twisted tale of a blind sculptor who simply must have Aki the gorgeous model pose for his next masterpiece. trouble is, he’s guano crazy and so is his mother! Masumura also directed the harrowing “Red Angel” which is its own topic and here he also doesn’t shy away from any of the more grotesque plot points. what happens is a unique form of Stockholm syndrome (and that’s putting it mildly!) highly recommended for fans of the bizarre. 4/5
Money Plane 2020
admirably preposterous and mildly entertaining nonsense that’s barely above tv movie satire has an in-debt thief rob a flying illegal casino to keep his family safe. most of the cast (beside Kelsey Grammar who plays something called “The Rumble”) looks like somebody more famous and more talented, the music is intrusive, the whole thing reeks of direct to video porn designed to be streamed ironically but it’s mostly dopily watchable despite the fact that it doesn’t/couldn’t possibly live up to its premise. before you press play, double check there’s nothing better to watch. 2.5/5
Moonfall 2022
silly b movie about a sort of nanotech “Alien” and a moon conspiracy stars Halle Berry and Patrick Wilson. the sfx are neat if not always convincing; the leads don’t fare as well. other than Donald Sutherland in a bit role I’ve already forgotten everyone else. 2/5
Morbo/Morbidness 1972
young newlyweds see their camping honeymoon bliss slowly sour in this dreamy Spanish mystery directed by Gonzalo Suarez. the film has an intangible quality with an evasive script and deliberate, forced perspective camera angles. it makes good use of its locations to eerie effect with some surreal moments and a haunting score. but, hampered by pacing issues, that opacity can become frustrating in the film’s more aloof moments. still, I liked a lot more than I didn’t as its plusses far outweigh its minuses. 3/5
Mother! 2017
Jennifer Lawrence and Javier Bardem star in a very weird, hard to pin down mindjob about a wife whose husband opens their home to an abhorrent couple. then things get really weird. you might throw things at the screen or yell about the frustrating developments as the protagonists’ actions often seem illogical. but you may as well just sit back and enjoy the dreamlike flow of this freaky circus ride with shades of Polanski and “Jacob’s Ladder.” 3.5/5
Mr. Klein 1976
an opportunist comes under suspicion in nazi occupied France when another man with the same name appears. by turns surreal and paranoid, it’s beautifully filmed and unfolds with increasing menace. very well made but not enjoyable. 3/5
Mr. Sardonicus 1961
b+w classic Castle production about weirdly haired and intermittently intelligent Robert’s Dracula-like adventure with the titular host and his singular staff. plenty of atmosphere and well filmed on terrific sets but implausible and, worse, imperfectly paced though the ending satisfies. the mask is creepy and there’s more good than bad so 3/5
The Mummy 1959
way too brightly lit Hammer production has Cushing and Lee but little to no atmosphere and too much exposition. bringing an old b+w story to colorful life is fine but either way lighting is still paramount, something mostly lost on director Terence Fisher. overall there’s more not to like than like tho the hospital window attack was cool. Lee’s appearance alternates between goofy, unfortunate and bathing be-capped. talky and bland. 2.5/5
Murder By The Clock 1931
an old woman won’t be caught dead being buried alive like her uncle but black widow manipulator Lilyan Tashman is the real problem. it’s well shot but not well acted- a restored print would probably look great but it couldn’t improve this poorly directed film. with a nice shadowy house, cemetery, secret passages, a few creepy moments and creaky old characters, if you’re in the mood this will definitely scratch your itch. 3/5
Murder, My Sweet 1944
Velma, Velma, wherefore art thou Velma? Dick Powell is Philip Marlowe in this classic noir mystery directed by Edward Dmytryk. lean, mean, stylish and shadowy. 4/5
Murders In The Zoo 1933
rich wacko uses zoo animals to keep would be suitors from his philandering wife in this uneven mix of horror and comedy. a few well shot night scenes and plenty of brutality but even at just over an hour it dawdles. also includes needless animal fights during the climax that struck me as grossly irresponsible. with Lionel Atwil and Charles Ruggles. 2.5/5
Musik i morker/Music In Darkness 1948
young Ingrid falls for a blind musician in this early Bergman drama about class differences, love and following your heart. not his deepest but mostly well shot with shadowy scenes and good performances. 3/5
The Mutations 1974
Donald Pleasence is a wacko who breeds humans with plants in this silly British freakshow that’s mostly well photographed with good color. opening with terrific slow motion and closeup photography (and a zany titles font) it soon becomes as dull as Pleasence’s monotone performance but at least he’s not given much screentime. featuring hilarious/cheap monsters, bizarre music, gratuitous nudity, old looking college students and Popeye! with Tom Baker for some reason. 2/5
My Brother Has Bad Dreams aka Bad Dreams aka Scream Bloody Murder 1972
out there low budget schlock plays like a lazy summer day by way of S.F. Brownrigg. it has gothic leanings with an old family manse at its heart and of course that family’s secrets, in this case a brother and sister who as children survived their father’s rampage and now live co-dependently in said Florida manse. add a charismatic drifter to this crazy stew and watch things get shaken up. unfortunately I couldn’t watch much as the print was very dark but there were mannequins, wheelchairs, and mailmen oh my! even a blood soaked shark attack a few years before that blockbuster we all know! see, this brother has trouble distinguishing the past from the present and truth from fantasy. he lives in a state of stunted emotional/sexual maturity along with his sister “for his own good” but it’s created a pseudo-incestuous, mutually destructive pairing. and his trippy, experimental filmmaking “dreams” are definitely bad. so are his waking hours. except for the time he spends skinny dipping. he seems to enjoy that. but all the screaming, and the yelling, and the being confused and killing people isn’t what our hero, once liberated, is about. when all is said and done, he’s just a guy on a motorcycle with a mannequin who wants to get away from it all. maybe go for a swim. grim and cheesy sleazy, this wackfest with arthouse ambitions has a sweaty veneer that blends well with the amateur but mostly competent cast. that freaky ’70s weirdness you (okay I) crave is everywhere here and the ending is perfectly unforgettable. for what it is 3/5

N

Naboer/Neighbor aka Next Door 2005
violent, surreal headtrip out of Norway from director Pål Sletaune tells the story of John and his, ahem, misadventures with the two beautiful young women next door. recently dumped, John is approached by a sexy new addition to his apartment complex who asks for his help with moving some big boxes around. before long he is caught in a web of lies, manipulation, rough(!) sex and ultimately the neighbors’ very apartment itself. twists abound as John tries to navigate this alternate universe he has stumbled into, one that both attracts and repels him. and the viewer. this is not an easy film to watch. the sexual violence and psychological “games” that ensue are not for the easily offended. uncomfortable, disturbing and creepy too, try it if you’re in the mood for a Polanski-ish mindjob. 3/5
Nachts, wenn Dracula erwacht aka Count Dracula 1970
Franco directs Lee, Cushing and Kinski in yet another Stoker adaptation. I’m no expert on the director but this isn’t one of the better treatments. the lighting is often pedestrian: most of the film is too bright, including sets that would’ve benefited greatly from mood lighting, the carriage ride from Borgo Pass didn’t seem dusky enough… it’s true of the whole movie- plenty to like but just as much to disappoint. it’s also a bit stagey and not unlike a lesser Hammer production, where everything just looks too sterile and modern to truly evoke another era and too flat to bring its locations to life. a bit of low budget weirdness could’ve made this much more interesting but instead of lurid it’s tepid, as if Franco was kept on a short leash, and despite being an international production it feels far from exotic. Lucy and her shadowy nightwalk and Mina in her opera box were highlights but they were the exceptions, a fatal flaw and what kept this from being memorable. still, if you’re hard up for a sort of Euro tv movie version it’ll do. 2.5/5
Naked Alibi 1954
fired police chief Sterling Hayden suspects a hungover Gene Barry of murdering several of his officers in this fairly well made cheapo production. it all plays like a sleazy tv show with Barry overdoing it and slapping people around, including Gloria Grahame as the most cynical nightclub singer ever. forget world weary- she’s universe weary. her Marianna has this gem of a comeback to a customer who says “Hey honey, let me buy you a drink.” “Yeah. I’ll tell him when he comes in.” at this point it might just be me but once again she’s the best part. with Chuck Connors. 2.5/5
The Naked Edge 1961
Joseph Stefano scripted thriller with sex on its mind about a five year old blackmail letter. a paranoiac’s paradise tautly directed by Michael Anderson. very watchable with a smart script and good use of both natural and urban locations. with Gary Cooper and Deborah Kerr 3/5
Naked Lunch 1991
bizarre, funny and surreal mix of a man’s life and his writing told thru the mind’s eye of a hallucinogenic drug user. (let’s hope it’s) loosely based on actual events in the life of author William Burroughs but the meat is all Cronenberg. icky monsters and talking bugs inhabit this walk on the wildside headtrip. 4/5
Nancy Drew, Detective 1938
fun mystery caper with Bonita Granville as the plucky sleuth investigating the kidnapping of a rich old woman. at first I found this Nancy a bit too cutesy but she quickly won me over. I liked Ted’s radio shack and the basement scene with the cute kitten and the x-ray machine (that makes it sound awful!) imo the best of the bunch- a short and breezy 3/5
Nancy Drew… Reporter 1939
second installment in the mysteries sees the sleuth trying to clear a murder suspect. harmless but a bit slapdash and not as much fun as the first one. 2.5/5
Nancy Drew… Trouble Shooter 1939
third in the young sleuth series finds Nancy and Ted trying to clear her uncle of murder charges. funnier than the first two but also lighter on mystery; if you like the first two you’ll like this. 3/5
Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase 1939
final film in the Bonita Granville series is wearing a little thin but good sets and lighting make it stick. this one’s about two old ladies, some real estate and cool secret passages. 3/5
The Nanny 1965
twisty, creepy tale starring Bette Davis as the nanny who holds a fraying family together until everything goes off the rails. moving and frustrating look at mental illness that loves to play with perceptions, the first half is an endurance test a la “We Need To Talk About Kevin” while the second half is as pitch black as it gets. when I wasn’t trying to commit ?pediacide? by reaching thru the tv I was gleefully chuckling at just how far into darkness the film was going. the cast is solid all around but my fave was the too cool teen neighbor played by ’70s tv icon Pamela Franklin. 4/5
The Narrow Margin 1952
a cop must protect a mobster’s widow on a cross country train so she can testify in court. a bit cheap but clever, tough talking and short enough not to wear out its welcome. 3/5
Nattvardsgästerna aka Winter Light 1963
Ingmar Bergman’s transcendent but depressing look at a priest having a crisis of faith and his desperate flock who he feels incapable of comforting. gorgeous and daringly filmed, it’s brilliantly constructed with amazing performances by a top notch cast. very rough viewing as it asks timeless questions and stares mental anguish straight in the eye. 4.5/5
Natural Enemies 1978
grim portrait of a man at the end of his rope and his depressed marriage uses narration and fantasy sequences to great effect. Hal Holbrook is the sex starved hubby whose cries for help don’t fall on enough ears in this talky tragedy. 3/5
Necromancy 1972
(fan-cut “special edition” from youtube) Pamela Franklin and Michael Ontkean star in this thriller that looks like it could’ve been made several years earlier at least about a young couple who move to a strange small town named Lilith. I have no idea what made this edition so special but this is one trippy weird movie. jarring cuts, interesting dissolves, unusual camera angles and subtle, almost subliminally eerie touches keep you from getting any footing. some of the scenes have an amazing, dark 16mm nightmarish feel that work very well toward the horror side while others play like a tv movie about the dangers of psychedelic drugs. there’s a great toy shop, a rat infested cellar, some truly creepy sequences and a few that could’ve been if the music was so inclined (or absent entirely). the ending was pure cheddar but I liked the preceding weirdness. with Lee Purcell and Orson Wells for some reason. 3/5
Negatives 1968
very strange movie about a married couple’s roleplaying and hatred of each other that’s interrupted by a strange photographer. seems poor Theo can’t escape being manipulated and emasculated: even his fantasies belong to someone else. like a stage play one moment and an experimental film the next, it’s challenging, abrasive and fairly opaque. and not very enjoyable. with Glenda Jackson. directed by Peter Medak. 2.5/5
Nelle pieghe della carne/In The Folds Of The Flesh 1970
brash, ugly Italian thriller that can’t stop being shocking long enough to be more than the piles of dirty deeds it dredges up. a few (bad) trippy scenes and vfx add some interest but it’s little more than a curiosity although the escaped con was pretty funny and his bath was a highlight. if you like your dysfunctional family Euro-trash more tasteless than thrilling I suppose you can do worse. 2.5 decapitated heads out of 5
Nero Veneziano aka Damned in Venice 1978
after a very strange opening, a young blind man has a vision about a man, a woman, a dog, and a… squid? there are worms and snakes too and then his visions start to get weird. Italian “Rosemary’s Omen” ripoff doesn’t make much sense so instead relies on jarring imagery and bursts of gory violence to create jolts missing from the script. with a lil’ sleaze and some ick’n’sick, it’s all fairly entertaining if not at the level of its “inspirations.” lots of color with extensive location shots all captured in vintage soft focus. the music ranges from synthesizer bleeps to euro-softcore to wtf demented. while weak it’s uniquely odd despite being a knockoff so completists of foreign horror ripoffs might take a look. 2.5/5
Nice Guy 2021
enjoyable if derivative fantasy that’s breezy and buoyant mostly due to Ryan Reynolds and his charms so if you’re not on board that train you may want to pass. it’s basically “ready player truman-hog day” with the mc part of a video game. and since it’s Disney it’s top notch vfx and it can legally tug at the MCU and SW teats too. speaking of greedy the film wants to have its cake and eat it too when it comes to cliches (and cliche-busting) but there’s little to nothing earned here so when the big cheese moment comes it feels preposterously misplaced. then again, the “real” film is as fake and mechanical as the virtual world so microwave your popcorn accordingly. the humor is hit or miss but I thought the dude was funny and the cardboard villain had a few good deliveries at least. 2.5/5
Nightbirds 1970
well it had to happen: Andy Milligan made a decent movie. a very dark and pessimistic movie comprised of his particular outlooks on life, family and romantic relationships. virginal homeless man is “rescued” by manipulative woman who teaches him the joys of reciprocation before things get ugly. and cruel. also weird, slow, filled with odd dialog and poorly acted. so… basically a typical Milligan movie except this one is competently shot and the characters are relatively complex. unfortunately the step up in storytelling means an equal decline in laughs. although certainly not his most entertaining film, this grim study of London’s seediest is the best “conventional” effort I’ve seen from him. a sad 3/5
The Nightcomers 1971
bleak “prequel” to “The Turn of the Screw” stars Marlon Brando and Stephanie Beacham as the doomed lovers Quint and Ms. Jessel. very odd film that borders on horror/sexploitation fits into several genres. good locations and performances but often inscrutable. 3/5
Night Has A Thousand Eyes 1948
a third rate mentalist becomes the real thing and soon finds out doing good doesn’t do much good. fairly low budget mystery has too much narration but a little atmosphere and sporadically good photography save it. Edward G. Robinson and Gail Russell star. a skimpy 3/5
Night Monster 1942
Bela Lugosi and Lionel Atwill star in this minor entry but unfortunately they’re not Dracula or Moriarity this time. otoh there’s that old Universal monster movie atmosphere and sets. a disfigured old man summons the doctors he holds responsible for his condition to his mansion for revenge. if you crave that old magic this might do the trick. a threadbare 3/5
Night Must Fall 1964
vicious tale of silver tongued beast Danny and the women he bullies. Albert Finney oozes scheming creep, seeming almost reptilian at times. the essence of pure evil, he stalks and prowls; his boyish grin and gleaming eyes hiding a manchild monster. movies like this always make me wonder if the women characters would behave the same if the scripts were written by women. although I suppose Olivia changing her own tire in the mud and rain was significant. there were some innovative shots that have become horror movie 101 like the camera mounted to the old lady’s wheelchair and Danny lurking in the background during a long pan. there’s even something that was made memorable decades later in a more famous horror film. 3.5/5
Night Of Fear 1973
only in the ’70s could this have been the pilot for a tv series! sick lil’ Aussie shocker about a grunting, drooling backwoods psycho and the poor (always alone) Sheilas who encounter him. this is sleazy, strange and violent junk with an effective soundtrack and lurid tone. it’s dripping with exploitation goodness (plus a few touches of “TTCSM”) and is well shot with fine color and locations. unfortunately at under one hour (and made for tv) it feels like a pilot but is claustrophobic and grim enough to work. too bad writer/director Terry Bourke couldn’t have made the series anyway! 3.5/5 for what it is.
The Night, The Prowler 1978
“Rocky Horror” director Jim Sharman’s slow moving drama of a sheltered young woman who, after being raped by a burglar, tries her hand at home invasion. making the sex of the spiraling-into-madness mc female wouldn’t be novel if she were merely a revenge seeking victim, but here star Kerry Walker is both a force for chaos and a would-be patron saint. her nightly adventures are an escape from her overbearing family, mostly depicted as clueless and smothering, an outlet for pent up frustrations and an exploration of a world she doesn’t truly inhabit. while only briefly suggestive of any real atrocities, the film depicts Felicity as a creature spawned by the violence inflicted on her. too tame to be exploitation, it’s not sadistic or loaded with “justice” mayhem either, leaving it an odd, half baked character study of a troubled woman looking for some meaning in her life. 2.5/5
The Night Visitor 1970
mystery thriller about a mental patient who often escapes custody to exact revenge. more a prisonbreak adventure as there’s otherwise very little tension despite the out of tune twinkly piano score. Liv Ullman and Max Von Sydow star but this aint Bergman. a barely there 3/5
The Night Walker 1964
after a startling and typically awesome William Castle opening, things slow down quite a bit but hubby Howard keeps things interesting. written by Robert Bloch, it’s Barbara Stanwyck’s last big screen role and she screams her heart out. the wedding scene is beyond creepy but the unfortunate(ly dated) score almost ruins it. lots of winning Castle touches and mostly good b+w photography. with a lovely Judi Meredith and a dreamy Lloyd Bochner. 3/5
Night Watch 1973
Elizabeth Taylor stars as a woman who’s convinced she sees corpses in the neighbor’s window but no one believes her. possibly because she’s quite unstable and screams a lot. visually like it’s at least a decade older than it is, the film has an odd look: colorful enough with good sets but a sort of made for tv quality which serves the stranger scenes well and provides instant atmosphere. definitely different. with Laurence Harvey. 3/5
Nightwing 1979
desert set sci fi horror about, yup, killer bats is alternately boring and awesome. mostly boring. it takes almost an hour for the titular swarm to appear but man is it worth it with two over the top cruel deaths. bat hater David Warner goes around in his batmobile tracking colonies and exterminating them- it’s what he lives for. there’s a b-plot about tribal rituals and superstition that is fairly well played and makes good use of the natural surroundings. it’s all well filmed in that “realistic” 1970s style and definitely cheesy but at least goes down in a bat-flaming finale. with Jason Robards and the always desirable Kathryn Harold. 2/5
Ninjô kami fûsen aka Humanity and Paper Balloons 1937
an old samurai’s suicide reveals the struggles of his neighbors and the contrasting lives of landlords and businessmen and of those with and without honor. an edgy script, good performances and some striking photography help the fact that this is not a feel good movie. 3/5
The Ninth Gate 1999
intriguing thriller from Polanski about a rare book finder tasked with acquiring possibly Satanic tomes. visually stunning with an agreeably theatrical dreamlike flow and fiery climax. with Johnny Depp and Martin Landau. 4/5
No Down Payment 1957
dark drama looks at the downside of capitalism and how the American dream can be bought on credit, letting young people sacrifice their futures and leaving their older neighbors house rich but life poor. the shiny suburban facade slowly crumbles into a web of discrimination, unfulfilled dreams and marital strife but while well made the film is too melodramatic at its core to rise above soap opera. a good cast includes Joanne Woodward, Cameron Mitchell and Tony Randall. 3/5
No il caso è felicemente risolto/No, The Case Is Happily Resolved 1973
a man witnesses a murder and then goes on a long drive accompanied by some bad music before deciding not to report it. but then an old Larry Dallas the actual murderer beats him to it. finally there’s more driving and more bad music, although some parts sounded suspiciously like Led Zep. maybe a remake would do the concept justice. maybe not. 2.5/5
Noita palaa elamaan aka The Witch 1952
b+w Finnish comedy fantasy about a beautiful witch who wreaks havoc when she is resurrected by a foolhardy archeologist. I didn’t care much for the broad tone or the accompanying music but the cast is good and the natural landscapes provide beautiful compositions. the ending is a cop out with a capital lame but most everything else is enjoyable enough, especially the fabulous Mirja Mane as the noita. 3/5
No profanar el sueño de los muertos/Let Sleeping Corpses Lie aka The Living Dead At Manchester Morgue 1974
zombie horror from Jorge Grau plays like a dull mystery with a preachy sci fi twist but good cinematography, locations (especially the lush cemetery) and low budget gore make for a satisfying watch. there’s atmosphere, some tense scenes, a great axe to the head and the sergeant is a hoot. 3/5
Nothing But The Night 1973
Lee and Cushing almost liven up this sleep inducing UK effort about orphans and murder. the film is all one step forward, one step back: there are some nice locations but little to no atmosphere; weird moments but bad editing and music. despite the admittedly juicy dark twist, you’ll have to be pretty darn itchy for this to scratch anything. 2.5/5
No Time To Die 2021
the private life of Bond post HMSS covers a lot of ground but never feels rushed or superfluous. stuffed with mostly visceral “live” action (as opposed to assembled with headache inducing edits), relentless but effective car chases, lots of bad guys who somehow manage to always show up at the right time but never manage to hit anything they shoot at, cool gadgets and a few sicko villains to fill up the long run time. about the only thing there isn’t too much of is the wonderful Ana de Armas, but that’s the case with every movie isn’t it? an enjoyable, action packed sendoff 3/5
November 2017
a bizarre borderline horror supernatural sci fi folk fantasy love story? that’s a lot of words but this is a lot of movie. pagan rituals and lavish aristocracy co-exist along haunted forests. animated, golem-like assemblages imbued with souls carry out tasks for the impoverished but the price is high. unless you can pull a fast one when you strike the deal, in which case the price may be even higher. in their struggle to survive the plague and harsh winter, the starving eat bark while their countryside is literally littered with treasure. I’m not sure of the politics but this Estonian film takes an allegorical “Animal Farm” approach where people are animals but some are more animal than others. are you human or chicken, wolf or pig? even old Scratch is somewhat simian. poetic, surreal, haunting and humorous, “November” is beautifully shot if not always to watch. 3.5/5
Novyy Gulliver/The New Gulliver 1935
early b+w Soviet blend of live action and animation as Swift’s classic comes to life in the dreams of a young boy. strange looking creatures move about in all manner of ways around intricately designed sets and props. credited as the first feature film to utilize extensive stop motion, the animation is quite excellent at times if a bit rough and inconsistently lit but that’s to be expected. a mix of techniques like painted backdrops, rear projection and life sized models are used to convey convincing scale and depth in the cleverly realized sets. the ballet troupe and the car ride down to the underground factory with its almost living insect-like machines were creepy while the horn section was just as amusing. there’s a bit of propaganda running thru it all but that’s to be expected as well. 3.5/5
Nuits rouges 1974
a Templar loving crime syndicate will stop at nothing in their quest for the knights’ legendary lost treasure in Georges Franju’s jumbled mystery. the master criminal is creepy in his red hood, there’s a mad doctor with zombified assassins, a great secret passage bookcase, cool gadgets and the lovely Gayle Hunnicut looks fantastic in her “Chatwoman” costume. her dreamy rooftop segment was great but it’s all style over substance despite often feeling like a tv movie. the uneven cast, a bad score and the unfocused script keep this from taking off. absolutely yes? je pense que non. 2.5/5
Nunta de Piatra/The Stone Wedding 1973
a pair of Romanian stories: one of a lonely woman and one of a young bride. some Magritte-like compositions help offset the seemingly omnipresent narration-style songs. it didn’t grab me in any way and I couldn’t recommend it. 2/5

O

O Anjo Nasceu/The Angel Was Born 1969
b+w Brazilian drama about two vicious animals on the run. experimental sound design, abstract imagery, non linear storytelling, long lingering camera takes… mostly a series of ugly vignettes playing out in a static, stagey way alongside intermittent raucous freeform jazz. the cramped, flat cinematography leaves nothing to look at. the script ensures there’s nothing to like, no one to root for (captives who don’t even try to fight back/escape aren’t interesting) and seemingly no point. maybe that’s the point but it’s also my third and likely last from director Julio Bressane. 1.5/5
O Anjo da Noite/Angel of the Night 1974
bizarre, dreamlike film by Walter Hugo Khouri shot in and around a quiet estate. low budget, b+w slow burn about a young woman hired to babysit two kids while their mother goes on a business trip. the young woman is soon victimized by homicidal threats over the phone as the old house and its occupants unveil their mysteries, including what happened to the previous sitter. with its limited cast of characters (mainly the sitter, her two charges and the groundskeeper) the film has the feel of a play and when the violence erupts there seems little room to escape. 3/5
The Offence 1973
Sean Connery stars as a traumatized policeman who’s seen things he can’t unsee. when a suspected child molester is arrested, Connery goes as far as he thinks he needs to in order to get a confession. admittedly his character didn’t have too far to go before “breaking” but it’s still an ugly, ugly descent into violence on violence. as justified as that violence may seem/be, the film raises questions about the nature of crime and punishment, vigilantism versus “justice” and the age old question of who polices the police? directed by Sidney Lumet, it’s a story designed to push your buttons and it succeeds marvelously. cathartic and punishing. 3.5/5
Ogon batto/Golden Bat 1966
Akira, an amateur astronomer, discovers a planet on a collision course with Earth and is brought to a cool hidden lab in the Japanese alps to help devise a plan. he and the other scientists then discover Atlantis has not only resurfaced, its monuments contain hieroglyphics from John the baptist (?) and it’s guarded by a black suit clad army. there are tombs, an invading alien in an ill fitting mouse/bug Halloween costume, a cool giant drill robot, a Super Destruction Beam Cannon, and of course the Golden Bat himself, a theremin-scored, ten thousand year old, laughing cross between the Red Skull and some circus ringmaster complete with cape and cane. this one’s got energy and creativity to spare which helps distract from how goofy most of it is. with Sonny Chiba. a fun 3/5
Oi kynigoi/The Hunters 1977
(washed out 4:3 print) Greek language, international production about how men finding a frozen soldier in the snow stirs up the townspeople’s past and present. long takes utilize the natural surroundings but at almost three hours it’s both talky and slow, and three hours of fascism is three hours too much. mostly well made fantasy is often inscrutable and other than some Bunuel-ish moments didn’t instill anything other than depression in me. 2.5/5
Onibaba 1965
amazing horror fantasy from Kineto Shindo about two women struggling to survive in feudal Japan who see their tiny world turned upside down. very atmospheric and pleasantly theatrical approach works well when things get dark. spooky and fascinating 4.5/5
Oni no sumu yakata aka The Devil’s Temple 1964
strange film by Kenji Misumi about strange goings on in a snowy mountain temple. a nobleman turned murderer thief meets his match when a priest seeks shelter with him and his wife. and his prostitute, who remembers the priest from before he was frocked. a well acted four pronged power struggle of lust vs purity and good vs evil but who is the devil and who the redeemer? allegorical borderline fantasy is a clash of wills, strengths and beliefs; a story of redemption and temptation. not subtle but effective and powerful. 3/5
Onna kyuketsuki/The Lady Vampire 1959
a mother returns after a 20yr absence not looking a day older and is pursued by a male vampire suitor. more a bully than an undead monster, this dapper male vampire transforms under a full moon, doesn’t mind sunlight and casts a reflection. the cinematography shines in the outdoor sections and there are some effective dreamlike sequences. definitely not up to the Toho series but not bad- much like “The Invisible Man Appears” etc this one is more mystery than vampire centric. on the plus side there’s a goofy barroom fight with the world’s least helpful patrons and staff, a little person henchman, a decent climax and a few not very good transformation scenes to keep you smiling. in b+w. 2.5/5
Opera 1987
Dario Argento’s sprawling giallo is a masterclass in evocative visuals and palpable discomfort. fabulously convoluted with style to spare. 3.5/5
Ordet 1955
a religious family suffers thru tragedy amidst conflict with neighbors over their occupations and faith in this gorgeously filmed drama. beautiful natural locations and well lit sets are expertly captured in black and white while the dialog is both thought provoking and moving. the ending feels earned even as it surprises but imo raises more questions than the characters seem to consider. Carl Dryer co-writes and directs. 3.5/5
Orlacs hande/Hands of Orlac 1924
after liking “Mad Love” so much I had to see this earlier Robert Weine directed silent version. even with lots of expressionistic touches like the creepy hospital, shadowy streets and an amazingly filmed train wreck aftermath I much prefer the (imperfect) Lorre version. 3/5
Orphee/Orpheus 1950
“La Belle et la Bete” was so good I looked into more from Jean Cocteau. this retelling of the myth of Orpheus is more dialog driven than his other film and seemed to me more “French” as well. lots of passionate discourse about passion and existential dread that to me foreshadowed the “new wave” cinema to come. despite its fantastic story elements and surrealist touches I didn’t enjoy it half as much as I’d hoped to but can still respect it. 3/5
Os deuses e os muertos/Of Gods and the Undead 1970
(severely faded print) ugly, thoroughly unpleasant Brazilian film is filled with bad people behaving badly. talky, bloody and incomprehensible to me, I suppose it details the country’s violent history of agricultural exploitation, oppression and class struggles but aside from a few subtly eerie and surreal moments it was light years less than satisfying or involving. impossible to recommend except perhaps to those interested in that country’s cinematic roots. 1.5/5
The Other Side of Underneath 1972
writer and director Jane Arden’s surreal and often horrific look inside the minds of female patients in a mental hospital. nightmarish compositions both indoors and out help sustain a striking unnaturalness that frustrates and hypnotizes in equal measure. avant garde is a word that comes to mind for films like this and it certainly applies here, in all the good and bad that implies. sometimes jarring, unnerving, disturbing and affecting, other times obvious, bordering on self parody and overindulgent times ten. with plenty of weird and ugly material to work with, no doubt someone could recut and dub this into a “lost” horror film. some eerie, dreamlike shots of the surrounding country and cityscapes made me long for more: they were positively striking and haunting. other scenes seemed like home movies, candidates for bts footage or the cutting room floor. the bizarre musical score blends in and out of the film until it is literally a character in it, not just punctuating certain scenes but inciting them as well. very interesting at times but very overlong, perhaps a heavily edited version would lessen the hammy staginess and wandering narrative. 2/5
Our Mother’s House 1967
a large family of mostly small children fend for themselves after their ill mother dies. at first the legacy of their mother’s religious beliefs and a fear of being split up inform their actions. then things get weird. all that dogma in their young hands leads them astray while the outside world slowly intrudes. if you think the kids are creepy wait’ll you meet the adults. the great young cast steals the show. dark, moody and strange. 3.5/5
The Outfit 1973
Robert Duval, Joe Don Baker and Karen Black among others shine in this tough crime drama of an ex con, his lady and his friend as they take on the mob for cash and revenge. it’s well written and never drags. slick and violent thriller oozes 1970s. 3/5
Out of the Past 1947
Robert Mitchum stars in this classic noir about a weary detective who’s trying to start over but the world has other plans. an iconic figure in his trenchcoat and hat, Mitchum’s like a crumpled page of newspaper that goes whichever way the wind blows him. crisply directed by Jaques Tourneur, it’s absolutely gorgeous to look at with smart dialog. Jane Greer, Rhonda Fleming and Kirk Douglas round out a great cast. 4/5

P

Pandora and the Flying Dutchman 1951
James Mason and Ava Gardner star in an odd fantasy/love story of a selfish heartbreaker and a mysterious stranger. a little longish, it’s a bit of a throwback with too much narration but an interesting story and some dreamlike elements make it watchable. 3/5
Panique 1946
a woman’s body is found, stirring up much suspicion and plotting in this French drama about the destructive power of rumor and mob justice. good nighttime photography, agreeable use of shadows and a great house on Wolf Island. a bit talky pour moi but otherwise very good. 3/5
Panna a netvor/Beauty and the Beast 1978
after a foggy trek thru the countryside and a wonderful, Dali-esque title sequence, we’re treated to the screeches of animals being butchered in the marketplace. this ain’t Cocteau or Disney- it’s “The Cremator”s Juraj Herz’s horror-centric take on the fairy tale, and it’s both beautiful and beastly. the gorgeous natural surroundings are contrasted with the shadowy castle; likewise the fair virgin daughter and the goblin-like creatures. much of the film is very dark, lending it an almost b+w appearance and an effective dreamlike quality. it’s a visual treat and my second favorite movie version. 3.5/5
Paper Moon 1973
a great cast in a great film directed by one of the greats, Peter Bogdanovich. tells the story of a con man, Ryan O’Neal, and his young partner in grift played by daughter Tatum. simply outstanding. with Madeline Kahn. 4.5/5
Pastel de sangre 1971
(86min version of seemingly different sources) strange movie that’s part historical drama, part exploitation, part luchador and all weird. it’s made up of four horror vignettes set during different time periods but none of it is even a little bit scary. there are some Rollinesque arthouse moments in the vampire segments but I found the majority murkily shot and fairly dull. 2.5/5
Peeping Tom 1960
truly disturbing shocker about a murderous filmmaker obsessed with capturing fear on camera rightfully freaked out viewers of the day. in later years this was “rediscovered” as a masterpiece of horror. a film you may not enjoy but you won’t forget. 4/5
Peppermint Frappe 1967
unfortunately this tour de force for a terrific Geraldine Chaplin is almost entirely unlikable in every other aspect. its protagonist is a pestering jackass who inexplicably attracts beautiful younger women with nothing better to do than be either insulted or creeped on by him. features one of the least inviting dinner parties I’ve ever seen, and though I’ve never had one the title drink looks awful. maybe it was just dated but this didn’t work for me at all and the ending made no sense (character wise) that I could see. poor Ana! good car-off-a-cliff though. 2/5
Per le Antiche Scale/Down the Ancient Stair 1975
Mastroianni goes from suave to petulant in this soft-focus story of a randy doctor who creates a world within a world centered around a mental hospital. he’s determined to if not cure mental illness at least pontificate about quantifying it but his science, like his methods, is questionable at best. lushly photographed, great locations, trippy art house sequences and plenty of gratuitous asylum behavior make this borderline exploitation while the script wants us to question the treatment/containment of mental illness and contrast it with the so called “sanity” of the outside world. 3/5
Persecution aka The Graveyard 1974
cheapo ’70s-weird cat-centric flick stars Lana Turner as the mother of all mothers and Ralph Bates as the sick son of the bitch. giallo like touches and a cruel streak plus the beautifully washed out print equal lurid gold. sick and twisted and mostly fun. warning: contains feline mistreatment. 3/5
Pets 1973
an abused abuser runs, walks and hitchhikes her way thru this very softcore crime drama cheapie that starts well enough and holds some sleazy promise but is too tame and meandering. star siren Candy Rialson wears quite an array of outfits as does costar Joan Blackman. the two ladies are the only reason to watch this although the weird twist at least lessens the pain of sitting thru it all. as far as the titular noun, most don’t fare so well. 1.5/5
The Pit 1981
a tormented boy discovers a place to dispose of those who’ve wronged him. Canadian pervy freakfest is fairly cheap and pretty bad overall yet goofy and weird enough to be entertaining. it has a sleazy tv movie quality to it and yes, a sexual subplot with the manchild lead is the creepiest thing about it. it also makes less sense the more you think about it so don’t. definitely different. 2.5/5
Planeta bur/Planet of Storms 1962
mid-budget but very impressively made sci fi poem that I have to believe at least partly inspired “Solaris.” it’s a bit slow and talky, it’s a bit “rah!rah! we can do it!” but that’s no surprise considering it’s a Russian film from 1962. it features terrific sets, effective sound, creative camerawork and creatures fantastic both in their design and execution. it’s more than a little corny (again, 1962) but the flying car/ship was neat, the “underwater” scenes were clever and it was just vague enough to feel maybe a bit more profound than it really was. my favorite scene was the didactic robot carrying the two cosmonauts across the river of flowing lava. not great but solid old school space-movie stuff. 3/5
Poor Albert and Little Annie aka I Dismember Mama 1972
sleazy and weird but mostly tame shlocker about freakshow Albert and his mother complex has music left over from “Hawaii Five O” and cheap ’70s horror vibes. he’s a real people person with loads of charm; he’s a sharp dresser too with a snazzy haircut. he also likes to degrade and kill women, all the while acting like a petulant child with a migraine. that’s about as deep as the character gets but not nearly as icky since things take some only in the ’70s turns. definitely not good but it delivers the low budget goods plus gets points for child endangerment, however poorly realized. 2/5
Possession 1981
VERY weird and multi layered horror/sci fi/drama/comedy from Andrzej Zulawski about a disintegrating marriage and the monsters inside all of us. this is a crazy movie that I’d like to interpret as straight up sci-fi horror ala Cronenberg. whichever way, it’s a rough, perplexing watch that rewards the adventurous. 4/5
The Premonition 1975
an odd couple plot to kidnap a child in this lowball oddity steeped in 1970s weirdness and public harpsichording. a wife and mother has “terrifying” nightmares… or are they visions? either way it’s hilarious. with al fresco yoga, an unhelpful 911 operator and nurse, plenty of overacting and wtf? stuff to keep you entertained. 3/5 for the laughs but ymmv
Prey 2022
(English) creative installment in the franchise centers on a young Native American woman and her tribe who encounter the interplanetary Predator. with good use of natural locations, it’s short on dialog but long on action, most of it very well realized. miles above the rest. 3.5/5
The Prisoner of Second Avenue 1975
Jack Lemmon is Mel and Anne Bancroft Edna in writer Neil Simon’s funny but strident look at the pressures of modern life in the big city. a husband spirals out of control after losing his job while his wife tries to hold things together at the center of a whirlwind of crime, bad news and rude neighbors. it’s one of those comedies with lots of musical cues to sell the fact that what you’re watching is supposed to be funny. Bancroft fares better than Lemmon who irritates more than ingratiates. my fav lines: “Did you tell them we were robbed?” and “I wish I did (have unlimited capital). I’d give Mel x number of dollars in a minute.” 2.5/5
Probe 1972
Hugh O’Brian and Burgess Meredith star in this pilot for the tv show “Search” about a cyborg private eye (a “Probe”) who works for the World Securities Corporation, a sort of precursor to a “Person Of Interest” style surveillance organization. there are some missing diamonds and nazis, antique “hi tech” computer gadgets, blinking lights and groovy music but it’s a waste of all that fancy tech as this is pretty dull stuff. with Elke Sommer, Albert Popwell, Alfred Ryder, the stunning Angel Tompkins, Jaclyn Smith in a tiny role and !John Gielgud! 2/5
Promising Young Woman 2020
hard to watch revenge comedy thriller about a woman who fakes drunkenness to expose date rapists at bars and clubs. though unflinching, it doesn’t lay the blame entirely on one side or the other and it allows both its heroes and villains to be flawed. painfully details how trauma never really goes away- it just radiates outward. 3/5
Providence 1977
strange, multi layered tale set inside a dying writer’s mind is both absurd and incisive with a jagged pov that jumps from creator to creations as well as in and out of memories. it mostly plays well and can be very funny (and cruel) but I would’ve preferred they stuck to the surreal tone instead of cutting back and forth from comedy to drama. reminded me a bit of Nabokov in its complex structure. a fiery John Gielgud stars with Dirk Bogarde and Ellen Burstyn. rated R for harsh subjects/language. 3/5
The Puppetoon Movie 1987
this collection of prolific Hungarian master animator George Pal (born György Pál Marczincsak) contains twelve of his shorts and all of them are wonderful. cute, strange and terrifically expressive puppets, perfectly staged and lit, bring the clever and funny stories to life. a must see for genre fans. 4/5
Pusher 1996
after he botches a drug deal Frank owes his boss a lot of kroner. the clock is ticking. part one of an eventual trilogy by Nicholas Winding Refn is tense and gritty. 3/5
Pusher 2 2004
part two of Refn’s trilogy sees Tonny, just released from prison, with a choice to make: continue down the criminal road or try to make a new life for himself? absorbing and affecting. with Mads Mikkelsen 3.5/5
Pusher 3 2005
it’s tough to be the king. Milo has a lot on his plate, literally: a rival gang is encroaching, he’s in rehab, a big drug deal has gone south, and he’s catering his daughter’s birthday. final chapter of the trilogy is the goriest and most humorous as well. 3/5

Q

Quai des orfevres 1947
French mystery thriller co-written and directed by Henri-Georges Clouzot about a jealous husband mixed up in murder. a bit too much musical comedy (especially at the start) but some racy content and beautiful compositions more than make up for it. with a sharp script and a slick denouement that almost turns this into a Christmas flick. 3.5/5
Qualcosa striscia del buio/Something Creeping In The Dark 1971
slow but stylish Italian thriller about strangers stranded by flooded roads who hold a seance and unleash trouble. these kind of movies can’t always be measured by words like “good” or “bad” as much as do they deliver the goods. as in, is it convoluted but not offputting, interestingly shot and scored, loaded with atmosphere and beautiful, exotic women, and weird? why yes, it is. unfortunately there’s not enough of those things and it’s not enough of a horror or exploitation film to overcome the spotty script and direction. Farley Granger plays Spike, here looking like a sort of biker/Matt Helm impersonator. 2.5/5
Queen of Outer Space 1958
somehow Charles Beaumont is attached to this dopey yarn about sexy Venusian women like Zsa Zsa Gabor and a crashed spaceship of Earthmen. all that’s missing is “the blobulent suit” and a copilot with harmonica. colorful and corny with a big spider, a bevy of beauties including the hottest guards ever and a stunning Joi Lansing. 2.5/5
Questi fantasmi aka Ghosts Italian Style 1968
(English language version) Italian romantic comedy farce about a married couple who move into a haunted mansion that’s not only rent free but the ghost itself very generously provides food and money! of course it’s only Sophia Loren’s rich suitor and the misunderstandings pile up. diverting fluff is fairly amusing with very good sets but contains a few ugly, un-pc elements concerning women. for Loren fans an easy 3/5, otherwise 2.5/5

R

Rachel, Rachel 1968
strange film about a repressed woman who learns to live by embarking on awkward social interactions that trigger flights of fancy and memories of past trauma. Joanne Woodward is great in a complex role and this well made character study is subtle and affecting without being heavy handed or cliched. 3/5
Rat Fink 1965
an opportunistic drifter finds being a rock singer the best way to meet girls so he makes his own breaks in this ahead of its time downer-shocker. think “A Face In The Crowd” for the Manson family. nuanced and unflinching, it’s also unfortunately very much a product of its time: an over reliance on soundtrack and incidental music gives too many scenes a forced, old tv show feel while the content is anything but trite. slick and disturbing, this is one grim little film. 3.5/5
The Rats Are Coming – The Werewolves Are Here 1972
wow what an opener! then comes the jabbering and pervasive soundtrack. Uncle Andy brings more hateful family action this time with fur, fangs, freaks and sadists. the werewolves, Malcolm and Monica are all awesome and the room full of chickens was Jodorowsky weird. it’s a step up in terms of acting, makeup, locations and lighting with some halfway decent compositions but a real mouse killing (yuck) is points off in my book. while seedy and cruel, it’s short on laughs and drags way too much in the middle. 2/5
The Raven 1935
Bela Lugosi and Karloff star in a twisted adaptation that’s too stiff to go whole hog despite Bela’s best efforts. great sets and a stormy night help an otherwise slight thriller. 3/5
The Redeemer: Son of Satan! aka Class Reunion Massacre 1976
rising triumphantly out of the water, the son of satan is a sensible dresser with a sharp haircut and a weird walk. he’s also a kid in some religious school who offs a few of his classmates at their future reunion as punishment for their sins. or something. cheap and boring early slasher setup will scratch your itch for ’70s horror but only if you’re hard up or a completist as this stupid crap has next to no tension. otoh, one of the kills was well done and at least the woman didn’t fall down when she was running away. 2/5
Red Sparrow 2020
brutally violent and sexually graphic spy yarn about a former ballerina who’s recruited by her KGB uncle stars Jennifer Lawrence as a sort of hard R-rated “Black Widow.” it’s all well lit and Lawrence is good but the film’s talky, less than engrossing and is mostly shots of her walking from one ugly encounter to another. 3/5 as a showcase for Lawrence.
The Reflecting Skin 1990
dark, unsettling journey into what seems like a parallel dimension of childish fears and the real life terrors of the adult world. set in rural America in the 1950s, a boy thinks a strange woman is a vampire but that’s the least of his concerns. surreal and altogether enthralling. with Viggo Mortensen 4/5
Repulsion 1965
crazy, nightmarish shocker written and directed by Roman Polanski as part of his “urban trilogy” (including “Rosemary’s Baby” and “The Tenant”) sees the beautiful and fragile Carol (played by Catherine Deneuve) slip into madness and murder when left to her own devices. hallucinatory visuals and disturbing subject matter make this one bring the goosebumps. a wacked out 4/5
The Resurrection of Zachary Wheeler 1971
this ultra low budget oddity was apparently the first U.S. video to film production and looks it, at least the print I found did, adding to the tv movie feel. Leslie Neilsen and Angie Dickinson find themselves in this for reasons unknown as a reporter and doctor, respectively, although they’re in good company: I also recognized Bradford Dillman and Jack Carter. there’s some medical science mumbo jumbo involving “somas,” cloning, organ transplant and a hint of ?digitized dna? amongst the ethical debates about artificially prolonged life. too bad the script went in the direction it did- there’s a sci fi horror film hiding in plain sight. bonus: a very “Police Squad” moment early on with an over-the-roof shot of an ambulance driving down the street with siren blaring. fairly interesting concept had potential but is stifled by dull execution (likely the lack of funds played a role), although Nielsen evading bumbling cops and the world’s weakest foot chase in and out of bathrooms was pretty funny. 2/5
The Return of Dracula 1958
oh how I wanted to feel that I’d discovered a hidden gem. nope. despite its short running time this Yawner (see what I did there?) takes forever to get where it’s going and when it finally gets there it’s not very good anyway. and forget frightening, the best this Drac manages is mildly unctuous: he looks like a shoe salesman walking home after a few drinks. the supporting cast ranges from game to unable with a few mildly interested. could give “So Sad About Gloria” a run for most nap inducing. 2/5
The Return of the Vampire 1943
Bela’s back as British vampire hunters see their work undone after a WWII bombing unearths his coffin but he spends so much time offscreen or with his face covered I thought I was watching Ed Wood. little in the way of chills, a sometimes soft image, good not great sets and atmosphere plus a knock-off vibe keep this one strictly second rate. with a lycanthropic man Friday that reminded me too much of Warren Zevon, if you’re hard up it might suffice. 2.5/5
Ride Beyond Vengeance 1966
after a clumsy narrated setup a fairly good man is robbed by some not very good men in a loooooooooooooooooong flashback. a furry Chuck Conners, Claude Akins, Bill Bixby, James MacArthur, Frank Gorshin and Jamie Farr give this western cheapie a tv movie feel. not terrible but not very good either. 2/5
Rivelazioni di un maniaco sessuale al capo della squadra mobile aka So Sweet, So Dead aka The Slasher Is The Sex Maniac 1972
(faded, dubbed, pan and scan print off tubi) more Farley Granger Euro weirdness sees him as police inspector Capuano investigating murders where incriminating photos are left with the adulterous female victims. wall to wall nudity, a super creepy medical examiner, beautiful women and some style are countered by ridiculous dialog, lousy sex scenes, poor pacing and a bad score. lame and dull- don’t waste your time. 2/5
Robinson Crusoe On Mars 1964
decent but often goofy telling of Defoe’s classic has tons of flaws but was smart enough to put its money into the photography, so at least the lamer parts still look good. which helps because the sfx are pretty awful. a jacked Fred Armisen is the shipwrecked and one of the background native Americans from “F-Troop” is escaped alien slave Friday. speaking of slavery, our intrepid hero basically turns his charge into one while he lounges around bagpiping and calling him an idiot. also it’s very convenient that the surface of Mars looks like the California desert and the air is sort of mild, especially when you need to lift your visor to get a better look at something. and that sausages grow from water plants. otherwise, the dream sequence was creepy (but could’ve been much more so) and I loved the contemporary gadgets and tape recorders. can you say remake? with Adam West. 2.5/5
Rosemary’s Baby 1968
second in Polanski’s “urban trilogy” is a terrific thriller about newlyweds who move into a NYC apartment and find a whole world of creepy. a masterful exercise in paranoid terror. 4.5/5
The Running Man 1963
an insurance-scamming couple are pursued by a lovestruck investigator in this less than thrilling drama. Lee Remick is gorgeous and very good as the uncertain wife but the suspense barely registers and it’s not much fun overall despite the exotic locations. Hitchcock this ain’t. with Laurence Harvey and Alan Bates. 2.5/5
Rusalka 1977
Czech filmed adaptation of the Dvorak opera about a water nymph who longs to be on the surface as a human in love. mostly successful blend of natural locations, theatrical sets and minimalist vfx create what isn’t exactly a movie version but more an opera taken off the stage, captured by what looked like a minimum of cameras. this worked fine until Rusalka left her underwater realm; once the film shifted to the surface world it seemed to become smaller and took on a very made for tv appearance. perhaps that was the intent, but it struck me as a defect rather than an asset. a good start and terrific finale hampered by a pedestrian middle. poor Rusalka: “woe to me for knowing humans.” I can relate. 3/5

S

The Sailor Who Fell From Grace With The Sea 1976
weird film about a weird kid whose widowed mother’s new boyfriend upsets his fragile world. the atmospheric film has an organic ebb and flow and fills its scenes with tall tales, tales that take on a life of their own when the weird boy and his weird friends tell them. some altogether icky scenes are just another facet of this unconventional, dreamlike mystery. with Kris Kristofferson and Sarah Miles. 3/5
Salinnabileul ggotneun yeoja aka Woman Chasing the Butterfly of Death 1978
directed by Ki-young Kim, “WCTBOD” is an off the wall Korean fantasy/spookfest filled with ruminations on life and death, morbid obsessions and right to die questions. a young student survives a poisoning only to find himself involved in a deadly relationship with a suicidal woman. not really scary, the film nevertheless has everything a horror movie should: decapitations, body parts sent thru the mail, animated corpses, two thousand year old bedmates, unscrupulous human remains trafficking and even cannibalism! part soap opera, part black comedy, this is a hard film to quantify but if you’re in an adventurous mood give it a try. a strange 3.5/5
Salto nel vuoto/Leap Into the Void 1980
a put upon magistrate navigates the cause of a suicide while dealing with his mentally ill sister in this brash Italian drama that I found to be the definition of offputting. he feels himself and his place in the world slowly vanishing as even in his own home he is becoming irrelevant. there are very well shot segments and a few surreal moments involving often ghostly children and an ambiguous ending. not bad but unless I missed something not enjoyable either. with Anouk Amiee 2.5/5
San daikaijû: Chikyû saidai no kessen aka Ghidora, the Three Headed Monster 1964
(dubbed) all star monster jam sees Godzilla, Rodan and Mothra team up to fight Ghidora, an evil, golden, fire-born dragon. after an unusually slow start things pick up with a visit from the fairies from “Mothra” during the wonderfully titled tv program “What Are They Doing Now?” Ghidora’s first appearance is awesome while Godzilla’s entrance is certainly more exciting than Rodan’s, who just kind of climbs out from under some rocks. I’m by no means an expert on Gojira (did he always have so much trouble getting up?) but he looked a little more “muppety” than I recall, not to mention Rodan seemed kinda chickeny. their “fight” is pretty lame until the poo poo Mothra shows up to ?talk? some sense into them. liked it as a kid; not so much anymore. best dubbed line: “These monsters are as stupid as human beings.” at least the restored print looked fabulous. 2.5/5
Sanatorium pod Klepsydra/Hourglass Sanatorium 1973
a young man travels to a remote asylum in the woods where he encounters a carnival of memories and amazing characters. very bizarre imagery and a dreamlike quality weave thru Wojciech Has’ wonderfully trippy film based on a Bruno Schulz story. stunningly beautiful to look at with a vibrant color pallet, eye-candy sets and locations and a stream of consciousness narrative, this is 1970s foreign art-house at its best! 4/5
Santa Claus aka Santa Claus vs. The Devil 1959
(?dubbed? 134min version off tubi) bizarre Mexican nightmare fuel purportedly for children but only an adult on psychedelic drugs could truly appreciate it. opening with a preposterous and lengthy segment featuring a spray-tanned Santa grooving (I hope) on the organ, kids from all over the globe sit under some kind of metallic snowfall and sing their awkward songs. then we’re treated to a visit to hell complete with technicolor painted devils in leotards dancing around a smoky cavern. Santa’s laugh alone is worth its weight in elkpoop, especially as it’s consistently inappropriate. and his beard is weird, indeed. in fact, this Kringle is altogether strange. there’s a giant ear satellite dish connected to a set of lips on the wall of Santa’s computer surveillance lab, several interludes with very freaky “gifts,” Merlin and his magic sleeping powder and truly creepy reindeer and automated Santa. the whole thing is drenched in faded 1950s color weirdness while the mostly vacant houses seem like science fiction horror movie sets. you’ll be dreaming of something other than sugarplums after you witness this. 3/5
Santa Sangre 1989
amazingly bats$%t crazy story of a traumatized youth and the circus world, both past and present, he inhabits. beyond nuts film by Alejandro Jodorowsky that will give you chills. horror fantasy wackfest is both sad, stupefying and disturbing. 3.5/5
Sasom i en spegel/Through A Glass Darkly 1961
part of writer/director Ingmar Bergman’s “faith” trilogy (including “Winter Light” and “The Silence”), this bleak study of a dysfunctional family on their island retreat is very rough viewing. typical fantastic performances and magnificent b+w photography counter the depressing and emotionally draining script. 4/5
Satanico Pandemonium: La Sexorcista 1978
highly suspect but just as entertaining Mexican nunsploitation craziness about a troubled young sister who can’t resist her darker urges and gives in to temptation. over the top sleaze with an especially icky “seduction” of a local teen has no shame and is better for it. Cecelia Pezet is good as the fallen Sister Marie and the ending will make you smile. 3/5 but ymmv
Satan’s Cheerleaders 1977
very bad but entertainingly so t&a schlock at least features the always appealing Jacqulin Cole and an unhinged Jack Kruschen. ripe for a remake- as is it’s cheezy sleaze justified as “teen comedy” with satanic leanings in an early slasher/hicksploitation framework. with territory squabbles on the beach to the quaintly naive girls’ coach, there’s a tameness running through everything that dates it as much as the mid budget ’70s film stock. still, it’s just what the sicko ordered with plenty of effective moments even if more of the soft than hard R variety. it also has John Ireland and Yvonne DeCarlo (unfortunately for them) so for what it is 3/5 but ymmv
Satan’s Sadists 1968
lame and poor cheap, sleazy crap from Al sees a-hole biker gang The Satans rape and kill when they’re not dancing, drinking beer, lsd-lacing or smoking pot. another beach rock soundtrack over home movie motorcycling footage and mostly amateur performances. some of the violence is disturbingly modern in its subtlety but it’s too little too late. with Russ Tamblyn and some pretty women including once again the delightful Miss Cole this time as amiable Tracy. 1.5/5
Scorpio 1972
Burt Lancaster stars as Cross, a CIA agent hunted by the assassin he trained, in this not thrilling globe trotting yarn. an uneven pace, score and a tone to match drag down what could’ve been a good time spent in varied locations with decent photography. the cast is mostly fine and everyone seems invested enough; it’s just not very exciting. turns out Burt on the run isn’t much fun. 2.5/5
Scream 2022
tedious, irritating entry sees all hands on deck for one more cliched, f-bomb ridden paycheck. I’ve never been a fan of the franchise and this one did nothing to change that. loud audio cues and gore do not my cup of horror make. 2/5
Scum of the Earth aka Poor White Trash part 2 1974
opening exactly as it should, with a perfect song to boot, S.F.’s southern gothic weirdfest is sweaty, sleazy exploitation gold. its cramped filming, natural(ly bad) lighting, incomprehensible musical cues and uneven performances are like paint brushes in Brownrigg’s hands. whether his result is art or not is the wrong question to ask. this hi brow filth is so singular it defies description let alone criticism, especially from anyone who willingly sat down to watch a movie so titled. I’m a fan of S.F. and this is definitely his masterpiece on almost every level but not necessarily his most entertaining- it’s a bit slow, too low on gore and its tone is too broad. that being said, there are plenty of Brownrigg touches that lend everything a drive-in veneer and it oozes luridness from every frame. this is textbook early ’70s American horror schlock. with Judge from “DLITB” and “DOTD”s Gene Ross. 3.5/5 for what it is, higher if’n you got a hankerin’ fo’ this crud.
Scream Bloody Murder 1972
“Stuuuuuuuuuuuart??” “Look what I can do!” ultra cheapo freakfest about a creepy manchild with a hook for a hand who kills everyone in sight (including his father and “mama”) with found objects. he then graduates to purse snatching, shoplifting, forced-feeding, carjacking and kidnapping. relentlessly weird and thoroughly stupid, this is an only in the ’70s little stinker that delivers some big laughs (the old lady attack was priceless). I suppose one could argue this is either derivative or influential but it’s not good enough to matter either way. the print I saw was washed out with bleeding colors… or was that the vfx? the mother hallucinations were fairly well done I guess, but like most parties, it all goes on too long. still, this ludicrous, just what no doctor ever ordered crapshow will cure what ails you. or ail what cures you. “ok dog, come with me. you’re next.” a too funny 3/5
Scream Of The Butterfly 1965
would-be law procedural that’s both unintentionally funny and decently scripted concerns a young beachstud accused of murdering a rich man’s wife in flashback. imagine “Perry Mason” meets beach-blanket-cheapie or if HBO made sexy shows back in the ’60s. the rich man was presumably played by one of the producers and the wandering wife played by an obvious model/dancer while the director must’ve really liked “From Here To Eternity” but instead wound up making the film equivalent of a tawdry paperback. alternately effective and Milligan-esque, it’s got groovy music and definite kitsch appeal plus a hilarious surfsex scene that segued into Ed Wood territory and the best descriptor ever: “miss slutzy-wutzy.” this backyard soap opera slinks so deep into corny cheeseville it’s a must see for fans of Meyer/Ebert’s “BTVOTD.” 3.5/5 for the laughs
Seance On a Wet Afternoon 1964
excellent psychological thriller about a “psychic” and her doting husband who stage a kidnapping to bolster her fame. obviously things do not go as planned. terrific performances by Richard Attenborough and Kim Stanley. atmospheric, gripping and affecting. 4/5
Sebastian 1968
another Dirk Bogarde and John Gielgud flick this time a British comedy drama about a mathematician and his team of codebreakers. fun mix of groovy London and cold war intrigue but more than a little silly: why is his crack team made up only of attractive young women? not that I was complaining. with a disturbing and thankfully brief LSD sequence. 3/5
Seconds 1966
John Frankenheimer directs Rock Hudson in this sci fi shocker about people transferring themselves into newer coffins. shifting moods and creative sound design help make this a very “Twilight Zone” film. 4/5
Secret Beyond the Door 1947
Fritz Lang directs this yarn about the whirlwind romance between a rich woman and a man with secrets who collects murder rooms (huh?) a few nice touches like the night time run thru the fog and a courtroom dream sequence scream Lang but unfortunately the film is more romance drama than mystery and too much narration keeps this one from really taking off. Joan Bennett, Michael Redgrave and pre-Lovey Howell Natalie Schafer in a minor role. 2.5/5
Sedmikrasky/Daisies 1966
fun but empty romp with two young beauties who realize there’s no point to anything so why not just do whatever you like? while colorful and intermittently amusing, anything includes this film by Vera Chytilova. lots of food gets eaten and thrown about. 2.5/5
See No Evil 1971
Mia Farrow plays a blind woman returning to her ancestral home who finds herself terrorized by a guy with itchy boots. she’s very believable and there’s a sparse soundtrack that helps us into her world and creates tension, just not enough. maybe a bit too low key for its own good and with an unsatisfying finish to “boot.” 2.5/5
Self Defense aka Siege 1983
low budget Canadian urban crime thriller about a witness to a massacre holed up in an apartment building during a police strike. the reason for the massacre or how the massacre-ers are so well equipped/organized is never explained but luckily for the good guys they have their very own Macgyver weapons guy. plays like the Sweathogs meet “The Purge” with an agreeable, claustrophobic grimness to balance out the hilarious space wars gunfire sound fx and goofy villains. 3/5 for what it is.
Sensivita aka The House By The Edge Of The Lake 1979
after a strange and intriguing start, this randy Italian-Spanish giallo thriller stays that way with a twisted plot, jarring cuts and sundrenched nightmare sequences. some terrific exterior shots, weird/weirdly inappropriate music, an erotic graveyard scene(?) and the thorough oddness keep it interesting if not exactly coherent. 3/5
Seven 1979
William Smith is a hired mercenary in this creative actioner about an elite team doing dirty work for the government, though their hq seems like a teachers’ lounge. no matter how inept any or all of it is, it’s so sincere and of its time it can’t not work. there’s a grown up Dennis the menace bodyguard, a hilarious professor, a printer that should get a cast credit, plenty of groovy music, a pre Indiana Jones moment, lots and lots of babes and just as much buildup. the comedy is mostly of the unintentional sort with none more humorous than Smith’s post coital “Yeah?” 3/5 for the fun.
Shanks 1974
a Grimm fairy tale fantasy by way of William Castle starring Marcel Marceau? extraordinarily strange film about a puppeteer hired by a wealthy old scientist to do very strange things indeed. this is one weirdass story that gets extremely dark despite its many broad comedic touches. it plays like a twisted, mostly silent movie that seems to take place both in the present and in the past. while I’m generally opposed to remakes, a straightforward retelling would be truly creepy and disturbing. Marceau is very good. his physical performances, including hilariously unsettling facial expressions, define the film. but an excellent yet often unwelcome score, some utterly illogical scenes, a perplexing/cop out ending, one awful birthday party and lameass showdown keep this from gelling. more miss than hit for me, though it did have some freaky laugh out loud moments. with tv staple Cindy Eilbacher and Castle himself as a grocer. 2.5/5
Shan zhong zhuan qi aka Legend of the Mountain 1979
multinational production tells the (very long) story of a man hired to translate an ancient Buddhist text who encounters demons, magic and scheming people at a misty mountain temple. with stunning cinematography, gorgeous landscapes, great use of color and lighting, it’s mostly a fantasy with horror elements. did I mention this is a long movie? it’s a very long movie. cutting all of the semi-comedic sections and focusing on the supernatural would’ve made a shorter, better film imo. 3/5
The Shape Of Water 2017
del Toro’s slick but heavy handed fantasy about nice people who appreciate beauty and how they don’t fit in with the cold ugly world. Sally Hawkins is lonely Elisa. we know she’s lonely even before she sleeps with a fishy humanoid (in some of the film’s more preposterous moments) because we also see her masturbating in the tub. of course we could’ve concluded she was lonely from every other scene in the film but where’s the R rating in that? Michael Shannon is as evil as he’s supposed to be in this cartoonish pile of award bait. 2.5/5
Shazam: Fury of the Gods 2023
mostly entertaining sequel raises the stakes considerably but still finds time for laughs. fans of the first will not be disappointed and it may just be fun enough to win over non believers. the fx are a mixed bag- some looked great and others like glorified greenscreen or dated cg. with Helen Mirren and Lucy Liu for some reason. 3/5
She sha shou aka The Killer Snakes 1974
over the top gross out Hong Kong hooey about a traumatized boy who “grows up” to be a creepy weirdo. the intro is encouragingly disturbing but we are soon treated to all too recurring scenes that can only be described as “A Clockwork Orange” style therapy for compulsive onanists. his troubles don’t end there though as he can’t take one step without getting beaten or emasculated. luckily this particular weirdo can control or at least befriend snakes who seemingly respond to his act of kindness when he administers 1st aid(!) to one of their own. next thing you know he’s swimming in slither-ers and they’re very accommodating and surprisingly athletic. the sound effects are as much fun as the shameless script while the music ranges from effective to seizure inducing to absurd. this revenge fest has plenty of flavor courtesy of lively direction, a capable cast, and good use of shadowy sets and urban locations. if you can abide Shaw Brothers shock-schlock with a very unhealthy view of interpersonal relations then I regret to inform you this might be for you. be forewarned: there are a few scenes of potential cruelty to reptiles. 3/5
Shiki-Jitsu/Ritual 2000
strikingly photographed essay on time, trust and loneliness sees a depressed filmmaker entwined with a troubled young woman. Ayako Fujitama is excellent as the manic girl who has built a private world in which to hide. beautifully scored with gorgeous sets but the wrap up is too convenient: simply face your lifelong trauma head on and everything will be alright. whether or not the countdown structure is effective depends on how deeply the climax affects you. still, the film is lyrical and at least attempts to be uplifting. 3/5
Shin jingi naki tatakai: Kumicho no kubi akaThe Boss’ Head 1975
hyper violent but timidly filmed and uninvolving tale of bloody revenge, this time for unpaid debts. lots of tough guys talking tough. competently made but not my thing or I just wasn’t in the mood. 2/5
Shinobi no shu akaMission: Iron Castle 1970
several ninja agree to a mission to rescue a noblewoman from a heavily guarded castle in this entertaining mix of spooky and magical action. lots of shadowy goings on with cool sets, enchantment, booby traps and, of course, ninjas. apparently part of the “Shinobi no mono” series. short and sweet in b+w. 3/5
Shinobugawa 1972
two people from questionable backgrounds find each other in this b+w Japanese drama. the locations are used to good effect and the characters well drawn with complex motives. while I can’t say I was disappointed that the film wasn’t an all out tearjerker, it sure seemed to be headed there which created a palpable tension almost throughout. takeway: love conquers cold? 3/5
Shock 1977
freaky creepy slowburner that delivers the titular goods is part horror, part sci fi, part family drama and all crazy. some standout scenes and a thought provoking ending give this one high marks. 3.5/5
The Shop At Sly Corner aka Code of Scotland Yard 1946
a cantankerous antiques dealer with secrets has to also deal with a blackmailing creep in this jolly old British mystery. a good script, a good cast and a great strangulation scene. 3/5
Sicario 2015
Emily Blunt plays a young F.B.I. agent who volunteers to help fight Mexican drug cartels in this action-thriller. slick and tense with great photography and riveting setpieces. a good cast includes Josh Brolin and Benicio del Toro. 3.5/5
The Silent Partner 1978
Canadian cat and mouse thriller about a bank teller who takes advantage of a holdup and the robber who comes calling. well written and acted, it’s almost a throwback to an earlier era. well, except for the fishtank. Elliot Gould and Christopher Plummer are excellent. with John Candy. 3.5/5
The Silent Playground 1963
British effort that’s more drama than shocker about an unstable man handing out his meds to passing children. other than some odd sound design it’s all very matter of fact and procedural rather than lurid or tense, playing like a slice of life one moment and a cautionary psa the next. not too bad but nothing essential though the kids are cute and give solid performances. 3/5
The Silent Scream 1979
after a thoroughly useless slo-mo ?flashforward? opener, we eventually get around to meeting the members of the Engels family at their beachside boardinghouse. plucky young coed Scotty takes a room there and boy does she live to regret it. this made in the ’70s thriller screams ’80s slasher. it bridges the two decades and anticipates the near future of the genre better than it works as a film. it’s too slow and a bit tv movie-ish despite the kills, which are mostly off camera. it’s not a total loss, however: it’s bleak as hell and some of the shots are quite effective. if you’re a completist this will fill in the gaps and you can play spot the lineage. a big cast includes Rebecca Balding, Cameron Mitchell, Yvonne De Carlo, Barbara Steele and Avery Schrieber. 2.5/5
Skyscraper 2018
Rock hard with Dewayne Johnson as a father hired to inspect the security of a mega-scraper who becomes a one man rescue team once said ‘scraper is sabotaged with said family inside. talk about American ninja warrior! it’s all very cheesy and silly and some of it works but less than paper thin villains and too much cgi means this ain’t no ’70s blockbuster. 2.5/5
The Slayer 1982
an artist takes a vacation to an island where her nightmares come true. there’s a Cronenberg-ish quality to the visuals with an unorthodox looking cast and some bizarre closeups and camera angles. it’s got loads of that early ’80s horror vibe including people dressing in clothing that wasn’t in style at the time, those telltale caucasian skin tones, an effective score and some gory kills. the lighting is good and the cinematography is mostly fine if sometimes a bit bland. with a decent climax but tedious in spots, overall it’s not too bad although certainly nothing vital. the best part is its good dark, stormy island atmosphere. 2.5/5
Smile 2022
a glass wasting therapist sees a newly arrived patient die in front of her before guess what? yup, she’s haunted too in this jump scare heavy horror. Sosie Bacon is fine as the unfortunate young woman but it’s mostly the same old same old with nonexistent supporting characters and sequel appeal. meh. 2.5/5
So Evil My Love 1948
Ray Milland plays a conniving thief who craves the good life by any means necessary, including corrupting others along the way. shadowy sets and beautiful b+w photography help offset the soapy melodrama. with Ann Todd. 3/5
Solyaris 1972
slow moving but fascinating version of Stanislaw Lem’s terrific novel is Russian sci fi gold via director Andrei Tarkovsky. with wonderful sets and intriguing visuals, the mysterious planet reveals itself but we humans are no match for its mysteries. 4/5
Some Girls Do 1969
more Bulldog Drummond fare, globetrotting and stylish, but silly and not as good as its predecessor. has the feel of a 007 pilot episode and though the women are all able and pretty, Elke and Sylva are sorely missed. utterly forgettable. 2.5/5
Someone’s Watching Me! 1978
Lauren Hutton stars in this made for tv movie written and directed by John Carpenter about a woman stalked by a weirdo and the limits of law enforcement’s aid when it comes to harassment cases. things get interesting when she takes matters into her own hands. not great but it has its moments. part of the tension is from the old school rotary phone ring- I kept saying “take it off the hook already!” 3/5
Sometimes A Great Notion 1971
Paul Newman directs and stars as one member of a patriarchal family of loggers in Oregon at the center of a union dispute. gorgeous natural scenery offsets the largely unlikable characters while lots of soundtrack heavy montages and aerial photography try too hard to fill out a lacking script. based on the Kesey novel. with Henry Fonda, Michael Sarrazin and Lee Remick. good but uneven; it definitely has a very real sense of place but despite all the hearty meal eating it’s style over sustenance. 2.5/5
Somewhere In The Night 1946
slight mystery of an amnesiac soldier who goes around asking the wrong questions trying to recover his memory. less than great with some questionable dialog but lots of well photographed nighttime skulking and a terrific Nancy Guild are payoffs. directed by Joseph Mankiewicz. 3/5
So Sad About Gloria 1973
don’t feel sad for Gloria. feel sad for yourself if you try to sit thru this borefest. it’s 50% her standing lost in thought, 45% her moving about in various ways making small talk, and 5% “horror.” while things liven up quite a bit during the two brief axe attacks, Gloria’s “visions” revolve around some community theater Chillingworth vandalizing a ?chained-up coffin at a train station? (yes) cut into shots of her standing around staring off into the ether. plus the “twist” is 100% predictable. 1.5/5
Sotto il vestito niente/Nothing Underneath 1985
huh what the..? how did my ’80s horror cheese turn into some kind of sci fi giallo? a man in Wyoming “sees” his twin sister get murdered in Milan. stylishly filmed, this odd slice of filmmaking is part comedy, part mystery, part…too many things at once but mostly not exciting or involving. a sort of Euro wannabe de Palma, it even ventures into soft core or music video territory. ah, the ’80s. with Donald Pleasence. 2.5/5
Source Code 2011
Jake Gyllenhaal stars in this sci fi thriller about a soldier trying to stop a bombing. mostly exciting but doesn’t even begin to make a lick of sense. microwave your brain and enjoy. 3/5
Spalovac mrtvol/The Cremator 1969
Czech pitch black comedy from Juraj Herz is the story of a coward whose desperate need to conform aligns with his fascist overlords. well acted, interestingly shot and beyond morbid. 4/5
Spider-Man: No Way Home 2021
excellent third installment in the Marvel Disney Sony collaboration sees everything and the kitchen sink come together in a fan’s paradise. surprises, action, comedy and real emotions round out this long but mostly fast paced crowd pleaser. 4/5
The Squeeze 1977
Stacy Keach and David Hemmings star in this seedy crime thriller about a drunken ex-cop and some nasty kidnappers. it rambles when it’s not being unseemly and filled with ugly characters in ugly situations and glorified violence that’s sometimes toward children and animals if only offscreen or implied. despite the nudity and cool proto-prog new-wave soundtrack (with gasp! real musicians) the whole thing is filmed like a docudrama or re enactment which only adds to the unpleasantness. I’ll never hear “You Make Me Feel Brand New” the same way again. 2.5/5
Stalker 1979
Tarkovsky’s arthouse sci fi is fascinating, both on and off screen. a man is a guide (or “stalker”) thru a dangerous, forbidden zone where he leads two clients on a quest for a mysterious “room.” think of it as a sort of “Waiting For Godot” on acid. an absolutely beautiful film to behold, the troubled production resulted in the deaths of crewmembers due to radiation poisoning from the abandoned power plants where the film was shot. slow moving and mysterious, it’s sci fi without much if any special effects: it’s all in the script and the imagery. 4/5
Stay 2005
layered, visually creative fantasy about memory and how our realities are both linked and entirely unique; about regret and forgiveness and the fleeting nature of life. a psychiatrist takes on a new patient who makes him question not only his own life but the world around him. the admittedly intriguing narrative is unfortunately just window dressing as there would be no film if the events played out linearly or the narrative stayed true. still, it’s got style to spare and a great cast. 3/5
Sticenik/Ward 1973
another man running in b+w? must be another ’70s (then) Yugoslavian tv movie. a mysterious man escapes from one hospital only to seek refuge in another. foggy, dreamlike compositions and shadowy locations helped counter the fact that I had no idea what this was about. at least it’s fairly short. 2.5/5
The Stone Killer 1973
Charles Bronson plays a relocated NY cop in a sort of preachy “Dirty Harry” concerning west coast mobsters. violent with awesome ’70s vibes, all the attendant excesses and plenty of red paint. with Martin Balsam, Jack Corvin, Norman Fell etc etc 3/5
The Strange Door 1951
Charles Laughton is diabolical and Boris Karloff sneaks around in this talky gothic thriller about a bad uncle. the beautiful house on a foggy estate, terrific shadowy sets and a great water wheel help overcome some pacing problems. good but not essential. 3/5
Strangler of the Swamp 1946
a cursed bayou takes the lives of generations of men in this atmospheric cheapie. there’s lots of dark shadows and a creepy apparition. directed by German Franz Wysbar, it’s not great but is great to look at with terrific foggy swamp sets making it worth the under hour long investment. 3/5
The Strawberry Blonde 1941
James Cagney is a man with a short fuse in this very old fashioned story where kissing someone you’re not at least engaged to is scandalous. Rita Hayworth is the titular object of affection with Olivia de Haviland her friend- the two represent the conservative past and the liberated future. Jack Carson is Cagney’s wealthy friend who gives him a job and more. I didn’t buy de Haviland’s fragile wallflower (or her attraction to Cagney, who’s basically a jerk toward her from the get go), especially after her screwball entrance but the horse and giggling sisters were great and it’s beautifully shot. a few inspired silly moments counter the saccharine script. 2.5/5
Sudden Fury 1975
nasty little Canadian thriller about a marriage on the rocks in a car that goes off the road. hubby is mostly uninjured but poor wifey needs serious medical attention. let’s just say he has less noble impulses than the good samaritan who happens along. what follows is an hour or so of harrowing frustration, but in a good way. we see this widower display his smarts as well as his growing savagery. his capacity for self preservation is boundless as there are fewer and fewer lines left to cross. a few shortcomings which seem in line with the film’s B-movie status clunk things up a bit here and there but they’re only mild speed bumps. the policemen say some bizarre things during an investigation if you ask me, and the final few lines seem more than tacked on. the Ontario locations are wonderful, allowing most of the action to take place outdoors which only added to the made-for-tv feel. this film not only proves that not all Canadians are nice, it also suggests it’s often better not to help your fellow man! an American exploitation film at heart and an overlooked gem. 3/5
Suicide Squad 2016
(extended cut) almost everyone is unlikable or paper thin but at least the action is loud and the music annoying. to all the people who don’t like Marvel movies I give them Jared Leto “as” the Joker. or the character of Harley Quinn, irritatingly played by Margot Robbie. in the BTAS cartoons, at least she had a sort of cute voice but in this she’s somehow a one woman wrecking crew. because she’s crazy or because she dresses like a punkrock hooker? hopefully neither. at least Will Smith comes off with some dignity and el Diablo and Croc were cool. the fx are good but not great. 1.5/5
Summer of Secrets 1976
very strange Australian fantasy about lost loved ones and the power of memories to keep them alive, however fleeting or inaccurate. an aging eccentric enlists a filmmaker to document his past while they train a kidnapped woman to play the role of his wife who lies in suspended animation. comes off like a small screen domestic drama with arthouse aspirations. when it works it’s intriguingly surreal; when it doesn’t, which is most of the time, it’s obtuse and shrill. definitely different but not very satisfying. 2.5/5
Sunday In the Country aka Blood For Blood 1974
Ernest Borgnine stars in this oddball low budget tale of a farmer who fights off the scum who robbed a local bank. a bit like “Dirty Harry” meets “Straw Dogs.” a decent but sloppy script actually has several messages but they’re nowhere as much fun as the luridness. the nihilistic tone and 4×3 faded print I watched screamed 1970s grindhouse trash. violent and grimy exploitation gold- they definitely don’t make ’em like this anymore. my only complaint- the daughter. kids, amirite? 3/5
Super Pets 2022
cartoon with a preposterous premise (even for something called “Super Pets”) that tries too hard to appeal to kids and parents sees a kryptonite weakened Krypto get hit by a taxi. was that supposed to appeal to the kids or the parents? a bigger question: why retcon Ace the bat hound? if ever there was a chance to use that dopily named dog this was it. tedious and way less than super misfire whose better moments only made me long for the movie it could’ve been. a few laughs do not a comedy make. 2/5
The Suspect 1945
Charles Laughton plays an unfortunately married man who finds himself in untenable positions facing off against an imaginative Scotland Yard inspector. less crime than drama with some nice nighttime exteriors and a delightful Ella Raines. 3/5
The Swimmer 1968
Burt Lancaster stars in this dark, pseudo middle aged fantasy that plays it so close to the vest you may mistake it for the silly veneer it lurks beneath. unfortunate (probably dated) music gives some of the scenes a goofy, cartoonish feel but the journey ahead is so surprising it doesn’t really matter. if anything it helps the deception that much more. 4/5
The Swinging Barmaids 1975
(noisy scratched 4:3 print off tubi) preposterously awful crap about Sonny, a baby boomer on a bad trip of misogynistic rampage, killing the women who work at a raunchy niteclub. at least William Smith comes off ok in the procedural sections, although the film could’ve been thoroughly disturbing instead of simply distasteful had it been more a character study instead of the crime mystery it tries to be. way cheap and way too slow but definitely a perv’s paradise with unpleasant pov shots and more ala “HPOASK,” tons of lingering sleaze and convenient/gratuitous nudity. the bike chase and bouncer scenes were hilarious and the docu style murders could be described as influential but again the script is all over the place. 1.5/5
Symptoms 1974
moody, slow burn thriller from Jose Ramon Larraz about a strange woman and strange goings on at an isolated estate is both morbid and lurid. and strange. with Angela Pleasence. 3/5
Szpital przemienienia/Hospital of the Transfiguration 1979
a young doctor finds working at a mental hospital a challenge on multiple levels- unethical practices, staff who should be patients (and vice versa) and of course the encroaching war. based on the admittedly difficult to film Lem novel, it’s a condensed, visually dull treatment devoid the manic energy and layered narrative found in the book. in Lem’s hands the rich characters and varied tones make for a complex, often humorous read: here the focus is on the easier to convey bleakness and human failings. 2.5/5

T

Tange Sazen yowa: Hyakuman ryô no tsubo aka Sazen Tange and the million ryo pot 1935
a comedy drama about the quest for treasure sees various schemers chasing an old clay pot. moves at a leisurely pace which proved a lil too slow for me. still, at its core it’s a likable enough tale with mostly well drawn characters so ymmv. 2.5/5
Targets 1968
Bogdonavich’s frustrating modern world horror casts Boris Karloff as Byron Orlack who crosses paths with a buttoned down (way too far) mass shooter. a lot of time is given to Karloff (who is fine here) but as a result it’s not nearly as interesting a film as it could’ve been had it focused more on Tim O’Kelly’s war vet wackjob. the sniper scenes are blood curdling tho and most of the film looks good. with the beautiful Nancy Hsueh. 3/5
Taste of Fear 1961
beautifully photographed b+w thriller about a wheelchair bound woman who finds trouble and Christopher Lee when she returns to America to meet her stepmother. good performances in twisty cat and mouse fun from Hammer. the picture and sound are both excellent with some terrific exterior nighttime shots. easy 3.5/5
Tayna vechnoy nochi/Mystery of the Eternal Night 1956
less than thrilling Russian tale of scientists sent to investigate the cause of a tsunami who discover the strange effects of radiation on marine life. the vfx are a mixed bag but most of the film looks good with stylish lighting and a 1950s color scheme. some decent miniatures and underwater sequences but not enough. 2.5/5
Temptation Harbour 1947
a struggling single father tries to practice what he preaches when he finds the suitcase of a drowned thief. well drawn characters in a slight British thriller. Robert Newton stars; Simone Simon leads a very good supporting cast. 3/5
Teorema/Theorem 1968
after a timely, confrontational opening, things get reflective and detached. dissonant music and sepia tone give way to vibrant colors as we meet an aristocratic family who are irresistibly drawn to their unnamed visitor. with barely a word spoken he mesmerizes, seduces, heals, awakens and then abandons them to themselves. only the servant seems to have transcended the experience, returning to her hometown as a mystical figure. Pasolini writes and directs an ?angelic? Terence Stamp through sterile, mazelike mansions and expansive natural surroundings. there’s definitely more to this but I didn’t want to dig into the director’s politics or religious beliefs. on a more visceral level, it’s beautifully filmed and I found the son’s paintings on layers of glass and the shadows they created fascinating. very strange and abstract. 3/5
Terminal Island 1973
an interesting concept about turning an island off the California coast into a prison for murderers instead of implementing the death penalty quickly turns into drive-in exploitation cheese with inappropriate music and unintentional humor. it’s the bad guys against the even worse guys. “Bobby’s gonna shit,” indeed. with tv stars Tom Selleck, Roger E. Mosely, Phyllis Davis and Richard Stahl. 2/5
Terror 1978
after a trippy, fleetingly creepy title sequence that seems about four or five years too late, this low budget British effort turns into an entertaining/boring tale of witchery. a group of friends put on a display of hypnotism that allows evil to enter their world in the form of thunder, lightning, wind and bad singing in yet another revenge of the burned-at-the-stake witch story. a lengthy and hugely suspenseful walk thru the dark in the rain to phone for a tow eventually leads to a hilariously unappealing stripclub in just one of many laugh out loud moments. it’s not a total loss as there are some unique kills: I don’t think I’ve ever seen a recording studio attack someone or a knife wielding psycho stab a foot. featuring mostly hapless victims with zero sense of self preservation, unlikable characters and tons of red paint, the best part was either the falling spotlight, the post- dementia Talia Shire impersonator or the flying car. bonus points: the Yes poster in the dressing room. for the yuks and inventiveness 3/5
Terror House aka Terror At Red Wolf Inn 1972
oh so ’70s cheapie about a naive college student who “wins” an all expense paid “vacation” at an old manse where there’s not much to do but eat. this is an odd mix of intentional and unintentional comedy with a bizarre premise and tone to match. but first, who in their right mind would go to stay at this creepy, corny old place for a “vacation?” (not one but three very attractive young women fall for this?) second, who or what is this Baby John character supposed to be? some kind of cross between Johnboy Walton and a hippie psycho straight out of “The Mod Squad?” third, who exactly made this movie, some starving director on a diet? not since “Crazy Fat Ethel” have I seen a horror movie so obsessed with food. there’s a going-away “party” that must be seen to be believed (or not) and a great walk-in-freezer-freakout. mostly stupid and weird but definitely unique and good for more than a few laughs. be warned: there is an ugly scene of cruelty toward a small shark. “What was that all about?” indeed. 3/5 for the laughs.
Test pilota Pirxa aka Pilot Pirx’s Inquest 1979
Polish/Russian scifi about using highly realistic humanoid robots in situations dangerous to humans. questions what it means to “exist,” whether that’s an exclusively flesh and blood state, and is the superior being more worthy. shades of “Alien” and “Blade Runner.” featuring fun sets, lots of doodads and beep-boops and a very weird topless discotheque with curious “music.” based on a Lem story. 3/5
That Cold Day In The Park 1969
Sandy Dennis plays a prim and proper woman who takes in a strange young man after watching him sitting all day in the rain. what follows is a series of surprises as each character reveals themselves in this weird thriller directed by Robert Altman. 3/5
Thelma 2017
from the gorgeous opening shot we see the contrasts: of beauty and savagery, both natural and manmade. the contrast of growth and stagnation. between the rational world and chaos. between repression and expression; the inward and the outward. between denial and acceptance. a sheltered young woman enrolls in college where she slowly finds the truth about herself. an ominous undercurrent runs through this along with a palpable fear that the mc’s story will not end well. terrific sci fi fantasy horror from Norway via director Joachim Trier. 4/5
Thor: Love and Thunder 2022
Thor meets an all new Jane in this oddball take which may or may not be true to any comic. I only know it was as dumb as I figured it would be based on the trailers. a few laughs (Bao!) and a creepy Christian Bale balance out the GN’R and a lot of poor cgi. 2.5/5
Three On A Meathook 1972
(drab 4:3 print off tubi) if not for the title sequence you’d think you were watching a porno. and then you kind of are. sure the music is bizarre but the whole thing looks like a home movie anyway. and then it gets dark, literally and figuratively, with the suddenly sinister music and the stalkery guy. some trusting young women have car trouble and wind up staying at the farmhouse of a local maniac/chef. there’s more than a bit of “TTCSM” and “Psycho” but none of the dread or suspense. bad acting, lighting and camerawork abound but so do the ’70s schlock vibes, unfortunately this one’s more low budget boredom than horror despite the body count. an inexplicable amount of time is spent not being anything the title might suggest, including a live performance of an obviously important musical act. maybe the pretty blonde had to have her uncle’s band get screentime in exchange for all her toplessness. by the time something happens it’s rushed and poorly staged. with a lousy script, cheapo gore “effects” and plenty of red paint tomato soup, this is pure stinkersville from top to bottom. what did I expect? well, not to be so bored for one thing. and not to hear such an am radio style score. 1/5
Three Strangers 1946
this shadowy noir fantasy about the title who beseech an ancient goddess to grant them riches looks great and a good cast does well. unfortunately it’s a bit chatty and less than exciting but mostly slick enough to keep you watching. a bronze 3/5
Thriller – en grym film/Thriller: A Cruel Picture 1973
(contains spoilers) yes, this is an ugly film. yes, it has all the earmarkings of trash. but beyond the obvious violent, rape/revenge exterior lurks a truly thought provoking film. I watched the “uncensored” version and I’m glad I did. seeing this without the controversial hardcore shots would be a totally different experience. we’ve all seen nudity or sexual scenes used to “spice up” a cheesy film. this is obviously NOT the case here. when you have a beautiful lead actress, you could certainly make her abusive plight more attractive and titillating than what was done here. when you are confronted with the explicitly ugly closeups of penetration, you cannot simply look away, or laugh away, what you are seeing. the unexpectedness of these (few) jarring shots cannot be denied. they are meant to disgust and shock, but not in a gratuitous way. when you compare the “in your face” directness of these shots to the extreme slow motion killing sequences, you can appreciate the directors intent. the very “slowness” of the violence the heroine exacts has only one effect: it takes you out of the moment, making her revenge, which should be the cinematic high point, seem meaningless and ineffective. the point is being made, I believe, that no amount of revenge can balance what has been done to her. consider that the pimp’s final moments are not even displayed! wouldn’t you expect to see some gory end to such a heinous character? by not even letting us see it, we are made to feel it is unimportant to what has preceded it. and what about her forcing seemingly innocent drivers off the road? are we made to believe that she viewed all of society as guilty? obviously this is not a perfect film, or necessarily even a good film, but it is, imho, much more than just a “video nasty.” 2.5/5
Tie guan yin aka Angel With the Iron Fists 1967
Shaw Brothers action spy yarn about female agent Lorna who infiltrates a well funded organization of thieves. very well photographed with consistent contrast and skin tones in scenes both dark and bright on colorful sets and varied locations. there’s a swinging score, cool gadgets and wildly uneven fight choreography but the film’s more G rated than grindhouse. that’s not such a bad thing, as it’s fun enough if not exactly exhilarating or as out there as the studio would eventually become. and with Tina Chin-Fei, Fanny Fan and Lily Ho it sure ain’t hard to look at. a kitschy but smooth enough 3/5
The Tingler 1959
Vincent Price is a doctor researching the effects of fear on the human body who manages to mix his personal and professional interests. things get weird when he gets his hands on some lsd. it’s ultimately silly especially with the too huge crawling creature and while “shocking” the ending is totally unearned though the script does manage a few good twists. typical if early example of the gimmicky, suspenseful Castle productions still manages that consistently good b+w photography his ’60s output achieved. the colorized bathroom scene was cool, although for a supposedly hemophobic woman her reaction was quite subdued. a mild 3/5
Todo modo 1976
dark, cynical look at the roles of religion and politics as government leaders convened for a spiritual retreat get killed off one by one while a deadly epidemic ravages the countryside. Mastroianni is a powerful priest who’s only part of this dystopian fascist nightmare that plays like a Lem or Kafka penned “TZ.” can’t say I understood much of it but it’s strikingly filmed on sets both stark and surreal. 3/5
To Kill A Clown 1972
very strange movie about a married couple who find themselves in a power struggle with their intense neighbor and his dobermans. tonally challenging, the film flows from comedic to absurd to ragingly uncomfortable to bonkers. with Alan Alda and Blythe Danner. dark, very ’70s and definitely unique. 3/5
Tômei ningen arawaru aka The Invisible Man Appears 1949
corny, over complicated mystery that’s more crime drama than sci fi fantasy and definitely isn’t the better for it. early but unessential effort features a mixed bag of special effects. 2.5/5
Tômei ningen to hae otoko aka The Invisible Man vs. The Human Fly 1957
surf guitar theremin opening music fun soon gives way to a plodding mystery but returns in time for the film’s second murder (there are many). then everything drags again and it’s ages before we “see” the invisible man. the “human fly” is no more than a sound effect before we are treated to a glorious transformation scene. this “human fly” is more like Marvel’s Ant-Man: he’s a man who can shrink down to the size of a fly. as a sort of sequel to “The Invisible Man Appears,” this one was also too much a crime drama mystery for my taste albeit a much more entertaining one. warning: a few laboratory scenes feature what could be rabbit cruelty. or maybe it was a fake. either way I didn’t want to look too closely. for the weird soundtrack and the ’50s era vfx I give it a 3/5
Tony Arzenta (Big Guns) aka No Way Out 1973
Italian/French actioner about a killer who just wants to retire in peace but… you know the drill. although mostly well shot with good locations, unexciting car chases, inconsistent music and an uneven script add up to a bit too corny for me. 2.5/5
Top Gun: Maverick 2022
Cruise reprises his flyboy charm in a check all the boxes sequel that works not just as a rousing film but even manages to engender actual pathos. the script smartly builds on the legacy of real photos of real people who have aged over the years. contains amazing footage from jet-mounted cameras and exhilarating flying sequences. sure it’s cheesy but that it earns even some of its moments is no small feat. and it’s such marvelously produced cheese. 3/5
Torture Dungeon 1970
Uncle Andy’s back to scratch another itch this time with parents using their kids’ highschool play’s sets and props to make a movie. watching it you might think it was more like the kids made a movie and convinced their parents to act in it but there’s too much sex for that to be the case. does the plot matter? it’s another “period piece” with nudity and off camera gore shot in backyards, basements, beaches and abandoned houses. most of the actors are terrible, some are good enough but they all tried and that’s why you keep watching. all but that one ?Keanu Travolta? looking guy. he wasn’t lively enough to be called wooden. he made wood seem sprightly. how many movies make you say “I wish this scene was as poorly lit as the others” and mean it as a compliment? with a sweet balloting sequence, an amazing jester (and duke), terrible wigs, the greatest snakebite and marriage counselor scenes ever filmed, and more of the oddest music: how does he do it? it’s both effective and preposterous at the same time. could this have been an inspiration for “Caligula?” “I’ll have it” indeed. for me a no doubter 4/5, for most people 0.5/5
Tras el Cristal/In A Glass Cage 1986
whoa this is a sick one. horrific and twisted story of a fugitive nazi and his family who take in a mysterious young nurse. unsettling sound design and an unusual color scheme keep things surreal and nightmarishly beautiful. and disgusting. although very little blood this is definitely not for the squeamish. beyond dark with scenes that will curdle your soul. 3/5 if you can stomach it but you may not want to. and no one would blame you.
Tredowata/The Leper 1976
snobby, scheming aristocrats don’t approve of one of their own marrying “a teacher.” lushly photographed but unfortunately scored Polish drama is too quaint and romance novel-ish for its own good. it plays like a foreign Disney princess story, with the pixie mc Stefcia flitting thru forests and spinning like a music box ballerina to the chiming of the hour in her dreamhouse playset. I was expecting her to start singing to the birds at any minute. a wonderful production with terrific sets and cinematography severely undermined by a fossilized execution that wants to be a period piece but seems more than a few decades off. still, it mostly looks great tho its silent movie era leanings and obvious script are its undoing. 2.5/5
Tristana 1970
Bunuel directs Deneuve as an orphaned young woman who’s taken in by an older man who wants to have his cake and eat it too. that is until his cake learns to practice what he preaches and flies the coop, leaving him to change his ways. she returns years later but personal tragedy has made her bitter and now the cruel one. this clash of the old and the new, social norms and sexual politics is mostly well photographed with some truly standout scenes. 3/5
Trouble In Paradise 1932
con man meets his match on the French Riviera and decides two heads are better than one in this classic comedy from Ernst Lubitsch. trouble ensues when their carefully hatched scam works only too well. delightful in every way. 4.5/5
Truck Turner 1974
rock solid blaxploitation classic that’s more bark than bite but baby, it’s one helluva ride. Isaac Hayes runs the show as the brother every man respects/fears and every foxy sister wants. Nichelle Nichols from “Star Trek” shines as the tough talkin madam who puts a hit out on Truck that every sucker wants to cash in while Yaphet Koto brings grit to gangster Blue. but best of all was badass pimp Gator played with venomous glee by Paul Harris who leads our hero on a loooooooong car and foot chase. like a very R rated (for typically unPC language and some great ’70s red paint- I don’t recall any nudity) “Starsky & Hutch,” this is all pimps and hustlers, big cars, flashy duds and funky soundtrack. I know nothing about the film’s history but it played like a vanity project for Hayes as he may as well walk on water here. sure it’s cheesy and clumsy and not nearly as rough as it tries to be but if you can dig it than it’s as good as gold. 3/5
Tsuma wa kokuhaku suru/A Wife Confesses 1961
a woman is accused of killing her husband while mountain climbing. the truth comes out in the courtroom, behind the scenes, in flashbacks and after the verdict. billed as a drama mystery, the only mystery is when it will become a mystery. oh wait- there it goes. I almost missed it. takeway: will men ever understand women? probably not. my least favorite Masumura so far. well made and shot but barely a 3/5
The Twonky 1953
I read the short story in an old anthology paperback a week before I found out about this cheapo movie version which plays like a rejected pilot for an anti-tv “Mr. Ed” spinoff. while cornily enjoyable enough, I much preferred the leaner, darker original short by Henry Kuttner. actually, Kuttner and his wife C.L. Moore wrote together and separately as Lewis Padgett as well as contributed to Lovecraft’s community mythos. all of which is more interesting than this tonally mismatched, ineffective adaptation. unlike most of its characters, I had plenty of complaints. maybe if I’d seen this before reading the story I might’ve liked it more. maybe. 2/5

U

Uchû daikaijû Girara aka The X From Outer Space 1967
a crew returns from Mars with spores that turn into a gigantic but not very well realized monster. back contamination was never this much fun! dopey affair with colorful sets, cool spaceships (and goofy ones too), impressive if not always convincing miniatures and completely out of place “I Dream of Jeannie” style theme music. the lunar surface scene was too funny for words. oh how I would’ve loved this as a kid! more consistent lighting definitely would’ve helped sell the rampage sequences- some looked way better than others. odd casting in American born Peggy Neal whose voice was dubbed by a Japanese actress. AAB-Gamma forever! 4/5 for the fun factor, ymmv.
Udoli vcel/Valley of the Bees 1974
after being attacked by his own father, a young man finds himself in an extremely strict religious order in this violent Czech drama. he returns home but it’s true what they say. part of director Frantisek Vlacil’s historical trilogy, it’s engrossing and fittingly bleak. in b+w 3/5
Una farfalla con le ali insanguinate aka The Bloodstained Butterfly 1971
tedious Italian and German giallo about the trial of a suspected murderer suffers from its unique structure with no tension but manages to be the gross kind of sleazy instead. plays like a courtroom drama from a soap opera director with a very abnormal fixation that was beyond lurid and not to my liking, the camerawork repetitive and often lingering for gratuitous “shock value.” it’s all stylish at least but beyond some nicely filmed moments the score is the best part. 2/5
Un angelo per Satana/An Angel For Satan 1966
(dubbed off tubi) gorgeous b+w photography and Barbara Steele shine in this Italian gothic about a drowned statue and superstitious villagers. Steele plays the role with zest but it’s all pretty silly. 2.5/5
Un bianco vestito per Marialé/A White Dress For Marialé 1972
a woman kept prisoner by her creep husband invites some old friends for dinner but a bad time is had by all including the viewer. mostly well shot with terrific color and some fabulous sets, there’s racism, violence toward women, a very long “decadent” costume party that wasn’t my cup of tea, poolside wackamole, Sonny Bono and Iggy Pop lookalikes, bad dogs and some poor music. 2/5
Under the Skin 2014
Scarlett Johansson stars in this character study of an alien creature with diner’s remorse. slow moving but rewarding with an imaginative narrative and sympathetic villain. excellent vfx. 3.5/5
The Undying Monster 1949
British mystery thriller that’s a bit on the cheap but beautiful sets, loads of shadowy atmosphere and surreal touches make up for it. a family legend resurfaces after a couple is attacked one cold, starry night. a little unpolished with some goofy dialog but at barely over an hour it goes down easily enough. a weak 3/5
Unman, Wittering and Zito 1971
roll call: Zito? absent. a newly hired teacher loses control of his pupils and then everything else. blackmailing, gambling scoundrels all, are the students capable of murder? twisty, frustrating and disturbing. 3/5
The Unseen 1945
a young woman takes a job as governess for two young children in a house full of secrets. mildly decent mystery with Gail Russell and a cute Nona Griffith. a generous 3/5
Urufu gai: Moero ôkami-otoko aka Wolf Guy 1975
the tiger is coming! poor Miki is being used by some truly unfeeling cretins who want to weaponize her righteous anger. these original bad bosses will stop at nothing in their quest to harness the supernatural. or is it the paranormal? it’s all three and much more! Wolfy is the last of his tribe of lycanthropes and he’s invincible on nights in the lunar blah blah all you need to know is he kicks ass, can sniff out a story, uses uncommon weapons, has a good heart and gets mad chicks. despite sharing screentime with wolfguy, Miki is the best written character in a film which has a ton going for it- a wolf guy, a telekinetic assassin, mad scientists, a fiery explosion, tons of fights and lotsa bewbs. except for fascinating Miki and awesome reporter wolfguy, the film is fairly rote victim/hero/bad guys stuff but injected with enough craziness and hyperactivity to make your eyeballs happy and your brain smile. and that they will! psychedelic surgery, well choreographed fight scenes, an amazing but all too brief stripclub vocal performance to a hostile crowd, lots of red paint, varied action set pieces and locales, and the toe-tappingist, trunk-funkiest soundtrack this side of “Shaft” played in a flashback-meta-moment by the creepiest band in celluloid history. and if I’m wrong about that, please hesitate to correct me. great opening, great final shot- great fun all around! ymmv but it was just what I needed 4/5

V

Valerie a týden divu/Valerie and Her Week of Wonders 1970
fantastically filmed Czech fantasy about a young beauty whose natural wonders attract all sorts of attention but mostly the creepy kind. a sort of pervier “Alice In Wonderland” filled with monsters and monstrous humans. simply gorgeous to behold merging of the poetic and the nightmarishly surreal. 4/5
Valkoinen peura/The White Reindeer 1952
b+w Finnish folk horror about a lonely wife who visits a shaman for a love potion but they both get more than they bargained for. an interesting and unique tale with striking visuals but I must admit the tonal shifts were not to my liking- some of the movie plays like a tourist film or slice of life rather than a consistent spookfest. a small nitpick as it’s otherwise very well done and gorgeous to look at. 3/5
Vampyr 1932
a bit uneven but pleasantly surreal with some fantastic and strange moments. terrific use of glowing light and foreboding shadow create an otherworldliness that Dryer and his roving camera and impressionistic compositions superbly complement. this is a classic’s classic. 3.5/5
Van de koele meren des doods/The Cool Lakes of Death 1982
a sheltered, naive young woman raised in a repressive, male dominated society marries a cold fish in 19thC Europe. her rebellion sees her eventually sink into madness, drug addiction and worse. wonderful photography and good performances enhance what basically amounts to a potboiler romance tragedy. 3/5
Vargtimmen aka Hour of the Wolf 1968
Max Von Sydow and Liv Ullman play a painter and his wife who visit a secluded island and begin to suspect their hosts are not what they seem. a dark, bizarre examination of delusion and illusion and perhaps Bergman’s only horror film. with some truly eerie visuals. 4/5
The Vault of Horror 1973
British anthology sees five people relate their nightmares in this mixed bag of deathly tales. my faves were the rope and the voodoo artist. can you guess where their elevator is going? a good enough 3/5
The Velvet Vampire 1971
ambiguous Stephanie Rothman directed drive-in Euro horror about a desert vampire who’s a dune buggying ’70s version of Madam Yes. some effectively creepy sequences and striking imagery help to balance out the uneven tone and performances. well filmed with Celeste Yarnall and Lance Rock himself Michael Blodgett. my fav lines- (driver to the bikini clad hitchhiker he’s just picked up): “You travel light.” “I forgot my coat.” a unique and imperfect take on the mythos. 3/5
Veneno para las hadas/Poison For The Fairies 1984
terrific fantasy by Carlos Enrique Taboada reminiscent of “Heavenly Creatures” and “Spirit of the Beehive” involves young outcast Veronica and new girl in school Flavia. the two become friends but their relationship takes them both to very dark places indeed. this is mostly an all ages film but is steeped in the supernatural. while not overtly violent it can be cruel and quite rightly would fit into the “killer kids” genre. Veronica has a nanny whose folklore is filled with witches and potions; Flavia’s parents are very modern and fact-based. the girls’ odd friendship turns into a power struggle of manipulation and rebellion with escalating consequences. are they just playing at witchcraft or are their spells tragically effective? how you interpret the events will greatly alter your perceptions, and the finale is one for the ages! the two leads are adorable, capable actresses who help the film walk a fine line between fairytale and horror. 4/5
Vengeance Cops 1971
low grade South African production about cop killing bank robbers and their pursuers. of its time and fairly unique, it’s dull but watchable with a cramped grittiness that suits the ugly story while dated music adds to the tv movie feel. unfortunately it’s not the grindhouse diamond it could’ve been. 2.5/5
Venom aka The Legend of Spider Forest 1971
British horror mystery is dreadfully boring despite some skin and an interesting concept. while well shot with beautiful scenery, there’s no antidote for the sleepiness it induces. 2/5
Videodrome 1983
an exploitation cable channel programmer comes across a mysterious woman and a transmission of unknown origin that change his life. and his body. it’s the perfect marriage of Cronenberg and his perfect script with the perfect cast. freaky as f%#k, searing and unseemly, funny, gross and cool as hell. 4/5
Vigilante 1982
violent Lustig directed crime action thriller stars Robert Forster and Fred Williamson as the wronged and the leader of the wrong-righters, respectively. more dark and sleazy NYC-set ugliness from the era’s “king” is at least competently shot and loaded with charming individuals who barely occupy any space onscreen let alone display any depth but they’re not supposed to, are they? they only exist long enough to be despised and then satisfyingly eviscerated. filled with overworked cops, an uncaring legal system and plenty of “I didn’t see nothin!” neighbors to feed the fantasy of urban justice. it’s “Death Wish” for the whole community! good start, good finish, meh middle. goofy, implausible and not good. with Joe Spinell and Carol Lynley(!) 2/5
Violette Noziere 1978
a young woman goes thru money like she goes thru men as she tries to create a dream life for herself in 1930s France. Isabelle Huppert is excellent in this based on fact tragedy drama. terrific production design and plenty of style with performances to match but perhaps a bit too long. 3/5
Viy 1967
enjoyable, atmospheric Russian folk tale of a priest who must spend three nights presiding over a dead woman who is not so dead after all. beautifully filmed and pleasantly theatrical, it’s based on a story by Gogol. 3.5/5

W

W starym dworku czyli niepodleglosc trójkatów/In An Old Manor House or The Independence of Triangles 1984
surreal existential drama where the dead don’t stay dead for long and the living are just as intangible. a wannabe artist creates an illusory world for himself but it seems he’s a perpetual bystander. like a mirror within a mirror, everything repeats itself and reality is distorted into infinity; only the impending cultural revolution is concrete. a bit slow but interesting Polish film features very attractive female leads and the giggling sisters were fun. 3/5
Wai dor lei ah yat ho/Dream Home 2010
over the top gross out gore enlivens this tale of a woman pushed to insanity in her quest to move up in the world. twisted and drenched in the red stuff. 2.5/5
Wanted For Murder 1946
uneven Scotland Yard mystery about a tortured strangler is well acted if a bit chatty. there’s nice b+w photography and some humor but the meandering direction can’t decide which characters should be the focus. a not bad 3/5
Warlock Moon 1973
wow. is this cheapo cinematic gold? ’70s “comedy/horror” trash? maybe a decent student film? nah, it’s a dull ghost story mindtrip that has John C. Reilly axe attacks, a lousy boyfriend, a great old lady, plenty of red paint and some effective sound design, even if portions of the dialog are unintelligible. a young couple find themselves in an abandoned woodland spa where things are not what they seem. an appealing Laurie Walters is by far the best part. 1.5/5
The Web 1947
a small fry lawyer agrees to work for a rich industrialist and trouble ensues. with a sharp script and great performances by a top cast, this is classic noir with atmosphere to spare. Edmund O’Brien, William Bendix and Vincent Price. 4/5
Welcome To Arrow Beach aka Tender Flesh 1973
one of my adult life “holy grail” moments was seeing the poster for this movie online. my childhood memory of the crude drawing with the lurid tagline has haunted me ever since I saw it in the movie listings of the local paper to the point that I wondered if it ever existed. that moment of validation is something this oh so ’70s boring turd cannot take away from me. starring and directed by groovy beach guy Laurence Harvey with a “theme” sung by Lou Rawls, it’s the “shocking” story of that most taboo of human subjects. no, not that one. and not that one either, you sicko. the other one. with a hungry Meg Foster, Joanna Pettet and Stuart Whitman. 2/5
Whatever Happened To Aunt Alice? 1969
after a giallo-ish funeral intro, things get loony with preposterous music and an over the top Geraldine Page. she’s a riot as the villain, cruel and cool as she (and everyone! else) smokes and drinks her way thru what plays like a deranged tv movie but it’s entertaining as hell. with Ruth Gordon and a great stray dog. 3.5/5
What’s Up, Doc? 1972
hilarious throwback to screwball comedies sees freespirit Barbra Streisand turn poor Ryan O’Neal’s world upside down, but in a good way. Bogdanovich directs the madcap hijinx from burning hotel rooms to multi car chases thru San Francisco. with a terrific Madeline Kahn and Kenneth Mars etc 4/5
Where Eagles Dare 1968
lavish telling of a rescue attempt by British soldiers of an American from a nazi castle in the mountains. Richard Burton is good fun with a snowplow and Clint Eastwood’s a sure shot in this too long, dramatically scored drama with great snowy scenery and plenty of explosions and bad guy killin’. 3/5
Where the Sidewalk Ends 1952
Otto Preminger directs this noir about a bad-egg cop who accidentally kills a suspect. good but not great considering all the talent involved. with Dana Andrews, Karl Malden and Gene Tierney. 3/5
Whistle Down the Wind 1961
Hayley Mills and Alan Bates star as the child and the fugitive she finds in her family’s barn who she mistakes for Jesus. well done family drama seen from the pov of the children who are uniformly excellent, especially Mills. a sad and funny slice of life set in rural England, and a little something about how as adults we lose our innate empathy, imagination and faith. 3.5/5
The White Buffalo 1977
a surreal opening sets the tone for Charles Bronson as the world’s worst roommate Wild Bill Hickok chasing his nightmares. looking like Ringo with his ‘stache and shades, he navigates the terrain, the weather, the friendly and the not so friendly faces in search of his obsession. Will Sampson costars in this offbeat offering. along for the ride are Jack Warden, John Carradine and a small roster of what’s his names. 3/5
White Lightning 1973
Burt Reynolds is Gator McKlusky, a convict paroled to help bring down rum runners and the sheriff who killed his brother. typical ’70s Reynolds fast car fare but its low key approach, solid cast and excellent sense of time and place work in its favor. 3/5
The Witchmaker aka The Legend of Witch Hollow 1969
(dull, dirty print off tubi) low budget regional quickie about a team of psychics investigating a swampy parish who run into a blood draining sabbath master. full of everything I was hoping for – bad lighting, odd music, crass luridness, amateur performances, goofy rituals, cheap gore – but all of the things I didn’t want too like boring stretches, a timid streak and an uneven tone. still, it has atmosphere perhaps in spite of itself, some good outdoor settings and the ladies are attractive. perfect to fall asleep to. (I have since seen a much better copy and while my rating stays the same I found more to like in the Bava-esque colors during the darker scenes) 2.5/5
The Witch Who Came From the Sea 1976
alternately disturbing and unintentionally hilarious horror drama, this is quite a trip down wacko lane straight into crazytown. a repressed young woman leads a double life with deadly consequences. there are sooooo many twisted things about this movie it would take a whole page just to list them all. chock fulla icky stuff that I’m surprised was even in a ’70s movie. sickening implied child abuse is but one shade of this wtf? freakshow with a truly f#$&ed up ending. may be too much for most people but 3/5
The Woman In Black 1989
a solicitor is tasked with getting a recently deceased spinster’s house ready for sale in this British tv spookfest. nicely evokes the time period in which it’s set and manages a few creepy moments but mostly settles for mysterious. featuring a good dog, a great house on the marsh and a hell of an ending. 3/5
Wonder Women 1973
oh so close! after an amazing opener that looks like a Skywald comics magazine come to life, things slow down considerably but even schlock needs a setup. a mad Dr. Tsu and her all female army are hired by a poorly made-up “old man” to perform one of her patented organ transplants while ?Lloyd’s Of London? sends an investigator snooping. an alternately lame/mostly entertaining cross between a censored softcore porno and a wannabe James Bond spoof, it’s got one of the longest, least exciting chases I’ve seen in a while but the fight scenes more than make up for it. it’s all very decently made with an awesome if sometimes woefully inappropriate ’70s soundtrack, colorful sets and fetish gear costumes and great varied locations making for a ridiculous ride. reducing the “Bond” angle and focusing more on Dr. Tsu’s island compound would’ve been much more fun imo. with Nancy Kwan and Sid Haig. 3/5 for the silliness.
World Premiere 1941
silly WW2 comedy about a movie producer trying to put on a premiere for his anti nazi movie. somehow the axis powers find out and send agents to stop it. too bad they didn’t stop this movie instead. full of wartime (and other) stereotypes, it’s mildly amusing but utterly unessential. chop it indeed. with John Barrymore and Eugene Pallette among others. 2/5
Wrath of Man 2021
after a fairly lousy start, things stay less than great but the action is solid and everyone is tough. mystery man joins an armored car outfit. does he have a reason for doing so? 401k, maybe? competitive wages, love of shootouts a plus? fairly standard revenge vehicle with few surprises at least looks great and the pace is brisk. with Jason Statham. 2.5/5
Wsrod nocnej ciszy/Quiet Is The Night 1978
Chmielewski writes and directs this tale of the son of a policeman who both try to catch a child killer. the wintertime locations make for some moody compositions while the story grows ever darker. affecting and twisted but talky. 3/5
Wu du tian luo/The Web of Death 1976
colorful, mid budget SB mayhem about clans teaming up to fight a villain wielding an ancient wmd. with gorgeous foggy sets, extravagant, physics defying action and tons of practical effects and pyrotechnics, there’s plenty to like but it also can give you overload. not to mention the very chatty script. otoh Li Ching is cute soooo… lots of everything? 2.5/5

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You’ll Like My Mother 1972
Patty Duke, Rosemary Murphy and a sinister Richard Thomas star in this wintry tale that plays like a tv movie in spite of the violence and weirdness. a pregnant young widow travels to meet her mother in law only to find they do things a bit differently in the sticks. fun but not enough although Thomas provides some much needed juice. at least it’s effectively shot and scored with nice snowy exteriors and the house itself makes a good setting. a decent 3/5
Yumeno Kyûsaku no shôjo jigoku aka Girl Hell 1977
weird bit of soft core exploitation about a girls’ school run by a sadistic principal. very well photographed but typical of the genre where men are beastly rapists and the women at best docile victims. I’ve no clue who this was geared toward (balloon fetishists?) but it definitely wasn’t me. an arthouse/horror veneer doesn’t make this any less pervy and gross. 1.5/5

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Z Channel: A Magnificent Obsession 2004
expansive yet somewhat unenlightening documentary of the legendary cable channel and the programmers and stars who championed it. founder Jerry Harvey built the channel only to see it fall before killing his wife and himself. made up mostly of movie clips and fans and filmmakers gushing, there’s precious little of the nuts and bolts of operating a cable tv station. I would’ve been very interested in seeing the actual processes of finding, obtaining and broadcasting these movies, especially in the context of 1970’s/80s home theater tech. still, it’s entertaining with lots of stars and looks at great films. 3/5
Zirneklis/Spider 1992
Latvian/Russian production about a young woman who agrees to pose as the Virgin Mary for a mysterious artist. his studio is a hallucinatory world where models stand in empty frames and Bosch-like paintings come to life. soon she begins acting strangely as her nightmares spill over into reality. a bit of a reverse “Valerie and Her Week of Wonders” in that this time the young maiden seems to desire every man she sees instead of the other way around. some ewwy-gooey gore, truly creepy imagery, low tech but effective sfx, and what I hope is the world’s only human/spider sex scene. an agreeably weird 3/5
Zhong guo chao ren/Infra-Man 1975
awesome mix of big and low budget monster invasion craziness that’s tons of fun. imagine Sid and Marty Krofft meet the “Six Million Dollar Man” by way of the Shaw Brothers. to save the Earth, Rayma, a standup citizen, agrees to the dangerous procedure to become the invincible Infra-Man. (mostly) good costumes, goofy sound effects, beautiful photography and so colorful you’ll think your box of crayola crayons exploded all over the screen. seemed to me there were a few elements which were ripped off in other films: aliens with acid blood, eyes in the palms of hands… the sets and locations are great and the fun never ends. 4/5
Zombieland: Double Tap 2019
late sequel to the surprise success is entertaining enough if a bit excessive. the fx are better this time so of course that means the gore is gorier. likable characters and some humor besides the broader moments keep it watchable. 3/5